He is enamored.

Dear Diary, (May 22nd midmorning)

I left off the last entry with a tantalizing hint so let me start with Mr. Thornton's cautious response. Don't get me wrong, the young man was deeply touched by our intimate coupling. We made love twice again after the first time. The first time with me on top of the young man rocking back and forth on his manhood until I was just on the edge of bliss. I rode him like a Lady Godiva astride her mount, Robert's long curving member impaling me like a stake from below for perhaps another minute or two before he jerked under me exploding into my core with a heat that filled me completely.

As close as I was, the feeling of his seed spewing into me set me off and I collapsed onto my lover drenched in sweat and dripping juices.

__

“Bianca.” My name came out as a soft breath. “I don't know what to say. This is moving so very fast.” I confess, that I too was as confused as the earnest young lawyer, our coupling was tender, sweet and caring but secretly I was a little disappointed. It lacked the fire I was hoping for when Robert first spread my legs and settle between them. The secret fantasy of living like my mother as a fancy maid here in this house and having a white master take me for his pleasure was like a gnat that buzzed around in my thoughts even as we lay together under the covers.

Robert woke me just before dawn with a kiss and his hands exploring my breasts and thighs. Once again, I secretly hoped the young man would be more demanding in his love making but Robert was as tender and methodical as ever. His hands worked me slowly to a needy mess and then he rolled me onto my back and filled me with his manhood. He was patient, pushing slowly in and out with a steady rhythm that was in equal parts arousing and frustrating at the same time. Only when I finally reached that moment of release did he pick up his pace and attend to his own desire. As we lay together in the predawn light, I felt a surge of envy as I pictured how this same man might have used the house **** Angelica, if it had been her that had visited the young man in his room late at night. I felt an unexpected surge of desire when I imagined Robert riding that little slut, slapping her ass as he pounded her without mercy or any thought for her pleasure. The dilemma that fluxes me even now is that what I want most is the one secret I dare not share with Robert.

Rereading that last paragraph, I realize that I sound like a spoiled little girl who is upset that the beautiful china-headed doll she received on Christmas morning was wearing a blue dress instead of green. Most women spent their entire lives trying to teach their lovers to be attentive to their needs and here I am wishing that my man would just take what he wanted with no regard to my feelings or pleasure. All the same, before I slipped away to return to my room, we agreed to break fast together so we could further discuss where this unexpected relationship was taking us.

Robert had to leave after eating as he had business in Charleston, but he promised to return by nightfall. He is a good man, and more than any other man or woman here in South Carolina, he might be my best hope to find success as I make Havenhall my own. The only other person whose counsel I would like is that of my dear mama, and she is half the country away back in Philidelphia.

I must set this journal aside for now and return my attention to the stack of ledgers that I had set on my father's desk. I had work to do before Robert's return.