He has a better idea.

"Not right now," Matt told her. "I don't hate you. To be honest, I barely think of you as human anymore."

She pulled back and grinned. "That's an insult, isn't it? It doesn't feel like one though! I can't even tell whether you're insulting or complimenting me!"

She stared at him with adoration and Matt realized she had zoned out again. He pulled out of their embrace and stepped to the side. Her eyes followed him but otherwise she didn't react. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the camera app.

"Ooh, what are you gonna do with that?" she asked upon seeing the phone. He started taking pictures and after the 10th photo, she caught on. "You're taking pictures?" she asked incredulously. "That's awesome!"

She started posing awkwardly for him. Penny had never been good at taking photos but she was trying her best, thrusting out her chest and trying to accentuate the healthy curve of her hips. Matt directed her to the bedroom and she laid across the bed, posing like a centerfold.

"You should get some closeups of my pussy," she said gleefully. Matt happily obliged, filling his phone with pornographic photos of his wife. After he'd gotten a number of near-pornographic images, he sat down next to her on the bed and began to scroll through them. She got on her knees behind him and looked over his shoulder.

"Oh my God, Matt, is that what it looks like? It's fucking beautiful! And look, I'm so happy in this one! I love these, babe!" She playfully kissed him on the cheek.

"Do you mind if I post these on your Facebook?" Matt asked nonchalantly. Penny started laughing again.

"Of course not! Everyone should be able to see them!" she exclaimed. "I'm supposed to find that embarrassing, but you know what? I barely remember what embarrassment feels like. I know your face gets hot and you don't like people looking at you, but I can't remember how it feels inside. Matt, babe, I've forgotten how to be embarrassed!"

"That's good news, because now everyone can see your pussy," he chuckled as he hit the submit button on his phone.

"But wait, aren't you embarrassed? You're still grumpy and I'm still your wife," Penny said with confusion.

"Not really," he said. "You said it yourself, you're half my wife at best. Now you're like a shitty copy of Penny."

Penny wasn't paying attention. She was scrolling through her Facebook feed, giggling at the comments. She held the phone up for Matt to look at with a giggle. "Look, this guy said it made him hungry for a soggy roast beef sandwich! That's so funny! I guess my pussy does kind of look like that."

Matt snatched the phone out of her hands, but she continued to stare at her palm. "Huh," she said. "I never noticed how pretty my hands are."