Grin and bear it

All things considered, getting dressed again seemed quite alright even with the culinary abomination that overshadowed tea. I chose a conservative outfit, jeans and a t-shirt with underwear, and white converse. I walked up to the Lees' and rang them.

Lee opened up with a warm smile on his face and a black lump on his plate. "Hello there, Laurie, what brings you here?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you had anything for my family and I to eat for tea since we had trouble at the Tesco."

"We sure do! Mum just whipped up some mutton and rice, and we have quite a few leftovers!" I couldn't believe the first part of Lee's statement - he was always known to defend his mother's cooking in light of the facts - but had no doubts on the second. He wrapped up four plates and handed them to me. I dutifully took them back to Susan's where the four of us - Jake had stayed after all the commotion - unwrapped our plates and saw malodourous lumps of char atop dry and burnt rice - Kay had neglected to even boil water to put the rice in!

"Are you winding me up?" Jake asked us.

"I was just trying to keep Laurie in her birthday suit, she's always so prudish," my mum, still nude alongside her sister, butted in, "I didn't think she would actually do this."

"Well, let's see what Rian's up to," Susan dialled the number and put my cousin on speakerphone.

"Hey mum," she sounded a bit... odd.

"Hi Rian, we're having tea, would you like to come?"

"No mumsy ... mumsy ... mumsy, we just got Macca's" she started laughing, "and we're getting tikka masaler after this. Dan - Dan's the best. He's ... he's the man!" she paused as though she had said something profound with that rhyme. "Besides, you're so serious, with your ... your birthday suits, you corporate hack! I don't need no ... suit!" she once again burst into laughter at this.

"Are you doing what I think you're doing? I'll have to call the police!"

"Mum, mum... I have a doctor for it. Doctor Who!" she fell into Banshee laughter, this time joined by Dan.

Susan sighed and hung up. "Guess she's out!"