Going Further

Wave after wave of disgust washes over you. You talked dirty to your own mother, how fucking sick was that?? You cover your eyes, you can't believe this is happening. The woman who had given you birth! Taken care of you! Put up with your shit for years! Oh fuck, this CANNOT be happening. You must be dreaming, or hallucinating... or fantasizing!

Wait, fantasizing? No no, you meant.. well not that, you'd never fantasize about something so depraved...

Your eyes dart to the stack of dvds. On top was the first porn dvd you'd ever bought. You had still lived at home at the time and the thought of someone finding this kind of search in your browser or phone's history would have ended you on the spot, so in your infinite horny teenage wisdom, you'd bought a hard copy instead.

Even in the dim light you can make out the title.

"Mother Dearest: Showing Daughter how its done!!"

You swallow. Your hand has crept back to your crotch. No! It was just a crazy fantasy! It's not like you'd ever thought about your own mother while masturbating right...?

Right? You nod to yourself.

It's not like you'd mentally changed the actors in that dvd every time you watched it (which was often)! It's not like you'd thought endlessly as a horny teen how it'd happen, about how your own mother would teach you to masturbate, or catch you masturbating and finish you with her mouth! You find you're holding your breathe as your brain rattles through excuses.

It's not like you'd had endless, recurring dreams about going down on her, or her on you! It's not like you'd stolen her dirty panties on occasion, sniffed them while you got yourself off, then snuck them back... it's not like... like...

You could go on and on and on, but they would be lies. All of them.

Maybe it was time to stop lying to yourself about what you want.

You try to steady your nerves, your throat dry with lust. Your eyes dart back to the chat box.

Shame sweeps over you. No. No you cant this was awful, it was terrible, it was disgusting...

...and it was hot. So fucking hot it was threatening to drive you fucking wild.

You start to rub yourself again. You can't help it.

"Tell me about your daughters, babe." You type, your hands shaking with excitement. "Are they hot too?" You hit enter before you can rethink this. It was crazy, what kind of horrific internet pervert would ask something like that of a mother?

"Are you kidding? Holy shit they are soooo hot!" The reply is oddly fast. Then just as fast another line of text appears "Wow that's fucked up for me to say, even to a stranger. I'm not like some deranged pervert or anything I swear. Holy shit why did I say that??"

You rub faster. That cinched it, this HAD to be a dream, a dirty, depraved dream like dozens of others you'd had about your stacked mom. An entire life's worth of repressed urges were boiling to the surface, sick desires that had been buried since before you even knew what they were, were now pushing to the surface. And it felt good. So, so good.

"I need to go, this has gone too far, I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't go!!" You type as fast as you can. "This is a safe space, remember? Hell, I basically begged you to share your filthy thoughts with me, no judgement!!" You stare at your screen, biting your lip, your needy pussy throbbing.

"Ok.. it's just that I know these feelings are wrong and I've always just been able to suppress them, but something about the way I've opened up tonight... the way i feel comfortable around you... it's like my fingers started typing on their own. It was like I had no control over what I was saying, I swear!"

You look down at the ring. You'd never in a million years thought that cybersex with your own mother was on the table, but this little thing had made it happen. You didn't know whether to thank it or curse it. But... what was the harm? She didn't know you were really her own flesh and blood, this was over the internet, the safest type of sex to there was after all!

You shake your head vigorously. No. This is wrong. You can't...

That's what your mind thinks anyway.

Unfortunately for you, a different part of your body is now calling the shots.

"This is a totally safe space, and I want you to share your fantasies with me baby. Tell me about your oldest. Does she do it for you? Do you think about her?"

You'd never felt so excited in your life, you were literally trembling in your seat.

But shit, was that too obvious, too forward? What if she closed the browser and never came back?

You bite your nails, anxious for a response.