Fuck, Marry, Kill

When Ben passed the die to Fayez, he let out a yelp. Fayez stood up quickly, knocking his chair over backwards. The group watched as his body began to change, his chest shrinking back to its normal state, his hair receding, and his beard returning. Fayez was focused on his growing waist and his belt fighting against it. He felt as if it was going to cut him in half like those videos of rubberbands around a watermelon.

He was wincing in pain as he fumbled with his belt. The prong of the belt pulled through the buckle, the strap sliding free. “Ow, that hurt,” he said, his voice returned to normal. He rubbed at where the belt had dug into him.

The others stared as Fayez failed to realize that without his belt, his pants had fallen. Lenny coughed, drawing Fayez’s attention, and pointed down. Fayez was shocked but at the realization that he was exposed, a wave of arousal swept over him, his cock twitching. It felt good, his addiction being fed, his cock hardened. Lenny coughed again breaking the mezmerization of the other three. Fayez bent over to pull his pants back into place, Bug buried themselves in their hood blushing, while Ben shook it off taking a big drink.

“I’ll have to um, remember that’s going to happen next time,” Fayez said, fiddling with the buckle trying to get the prong back in place. “Oh, I guess I should roll,” but when Fayez reached for the die his hand instead went to the nearest card pile. “I didn’t mean to, oh,” he coughed before reading, “End of Session: But before we go let’s play a little game. Fuck, Marry, Kill. Each player will list three people, one for each category.”

“Really?” Ben laughed, “Alright Fayez, let’s hear yours.”

Fayez finally got the prong pushed back through the buckle, “Um well, obviously I’d marry Rimsha,” he pointed to his wedding ring.

Ben made a gagging noise, miming sticking his fingers down his throat, “Okay fine, but let’s hear it. Who does Fayez want to do the nasty with?”

Fayez loved his wife, he didn’t want to voice any other desires. But he knew the game wouldn’t let him abstain from play, nor lying be the best idea. “I guess if I had to pick someone else, I’d have sex with Erin.”

“Who’s that?” Ben leaned in with palpable curiosity.

Fayez scowled but answered, “She’s a coworker. And right about now, I could go for killing Obi.”

Ben scowled right back, “Don’t call me Obi.” He turned to Bug, “You’re next, right? Might as well just go around the circle.”

Bug swallowed hard. All eyes were on them. “I-I,” they stumbled despite knowing who their Fuck and Marry would be, but Bug couldn’t bring themselves to say Fayez for either. “I guess I’d marry Xochi, my roommate,” they said giving them time to scramble for a second person. “And eff, um, I guess Jackson, this guy from a group project earlier this semester. And kill,” as soon as they said the word, they knew, “Mason, my high school bully.”

“Solid, and Lenny?”

Lenny had taken the time to think about his a little. “Fuck the UPS lady,” he said the others nodding in agreement, “Marry Shae the barista over at Sip Station. And kill A-Nong.” None of them needed him to clarify who A-Nong was. They all knew the owner of the Thai restaurant next door who seemed to hate everything Lenny has ever done.

“Oooh that’s a good one, honestly fuck A-Nong. You remember when she had my car towed? I guess it’s my turn. Okay so fuck—“ but as he tried to say Lacey his tongue wouldn’t comply. “Why can’t I say fuck—“

“You already said a name,” Bug squeaked.

Ben rose an eyebrow trying to figure out what they meant, then he realized, “Wait, fuck A-Nong? No, no, no that doesn’t count, come on game I would fuck—“

His friends giggled as Ben fumed. “I didn’t know you felt that way about A-Nong,” Fayez teased.

Ben scowled, “Fine, I guess fuck A-Nong. Lacey would’ve been a good lay, but I don’t know about marriage. I think I’d want to marry Regina, my neighbor. And that leaves kill, hmm, Doug, the head of my condo’s HOA.”

“Alright, that’s all of us. So we’re done for the night?” Fayez asked, checking that everyone agreed. Bug coughed and pointed at the last card that still sat on the table. The text was changing. Fayez picked it back up, “Players who have sexual contact with one of their 3 listed people will receive a treasure, those who don’t will receive a trap. Same time next week.”

They all thought over their choices for a moment. Ben buried his face in his hands and yelled, “FUUUUUUUCK!”

“Well, I guess we’ve all got homework,” Fayez said moving to set the card down with the rest. But the card had disappeared, then he noticed the game was gone too. “If only all games would put themselves away.”

The four of them cleaned up the drinks and snacks, gathering their own things. “Wait, what about D&D?” Ben asked.

“I think it’s been canceled, Obi,” Fayez answered.

Ben growled, “Don’t call me Obi. I guess we should fill in Eichi. Do you think he’ll believe us?”

Lenny turned to Bug, “You’ll see him on campus, right? Do you think you can tell him in person?” Bug nodded. “Good I think it will come off more believable coming from you and not over text.”

The four of them said their goodbye’s before making their way to their respective homes.