First and Foremost, Help Her, then Find Out Something

"Dua, I want you to think of the most relaxing place you can. Is that place in your head now?"

She nodded.

"Okay. Now, when you go to bed at night, that place will go to your mind. Nothing else, just you in your relaxing, happy place. Understand?"

Dua nodded.

"Okay, now Dua," I said. "What do you think of me? Honestly."

"Mmm," Dua moaned. "You're pretty...cute..."

"Cute in a romantic way?"

She nodded.

"Have you ever had a crush on me at any point?"

"In high school," Dua said.

"In high school, but not now?"

"No..." Dua said. "Not now...but you're still a very good friend."

Somehow, despite being literally friend-zoned, this didn't surprise me. Dua and I had grown apart until two years ago, so it made sense that she would no longer have a crush on me.

"Okay, Dua, be honest: have you been trying to set me up with one of your celebrity friends?"

Dua nodded.

"Who?"

"Taylor Swift," Dua said. "I remember how you said you thought she was cute, so any time we meet I've been trying to put you in a positive light."

"Is she interested?"

"I think so," Dua said. "She's coming over later today to meet you."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" I asked.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Dua said.

"When is she coming over?"

"In about an hour..."

"Okay, Dua, when I snap my fingers, you will wake up, feeling refreshed, not remembering anything you've said while in trance. If I ever say 'pineapple' you will go back into this trance."

Dua hated pineapples, so I figured that was a good trigger word.

"Three...two...one...wake!"

I snapped my fingers, and Dua blinked twice.

"Did it work?" Dua asked.

"You'll find out tonight," I said.

She stuck her tongue out. "You're such a tease!"

She went back up to her room while I went to the bathroom to prepare for Taylor's arrival.