Fighting is Hard

The scene around John was not all that dissimilar from Yoksazza’s tent. All around him, heedless of his presence, Kobolds were paired off and furiously breeding. The difference was that this time the females were bound and less cooperative- for the most part. One female in particular had a dreamy look on her face despite her chin being driven into the ground by the Black Claw thrusting into her from behind. Below the large seat from which Lazakall rose were a handful of powerful looking but incapacitated males. Each one was lost in a euphoric, post coital daze, and the thick semen dripping from their chieftain's snatch left little mystery as to why. All the other males satiated themselves with their kidnapped partners; it seemed only the strongest earned the right to mate with the chief.

Two large piles of embers flanked the main walkway leading up to Lazakall, radiating heat and enough orange glow for John to see by. A few haphazardly piled furs littered the area for the sake of the comfort of the Black Claws as they enjoyed the spoils of war, but the disorganized frenzy of their fucking had the Kobolds using them as often as not. The only other furnishing of notice was the tall assembly of bleach-white bones that served as the seat of Lazakall’s power. Judging by the various fluids soaking into it and the blankets draped across the arms, it served as more than just a chair.

“Hunan,” she spoke. Her voice was raspy and only barely feminine by human standards. “Hunan die.”

Tension mounting, John swallowed his apprehension and assessed the situation he was in. The scenario was less than ideal; he had hoped to find a way to get the chief alone, or at least open the fight with a sneak attack. Completely surrounded, even by minions currently distracted by getting laid, neither of those two ideas were of any good to John. He might have tried diplomacy if he hadn’t introduced himself by falling through the ceiling. Lazakall reached for and readied a pair of iron sickles while John’s mind raced for solutions.

Well, this sucks.

John took a good look at his opponent as he weighed his options. Like Yoksazza, Lazakall was roughly human-sized in height. Unlike her counterpart’s considerable girth, however, the female chief was slim aside from her wide, childbearing hips and clearly well toned musculature. Rather than the short, stiff tails of her people, Lazakall’s was long and sinuous, with scales black as night. The way she moved was much less human than all of the other Kobolds as well. Lazakall did not walk, she skulked. Her body twisted as she approached him, alarmingly snake-like as her tail followed her path. Even so, the way her movements swung her prodigious hips around gave her something of an exotic allure. This was accentuated by her sparkling gold eyes, despite them being narrowed with the intent to kill. They had some sort of scaley protrusion on the lids that gave the illusion of unnaturally thick eyelashes. In a different place and time, John might have considered her pretty, sexy even. Perhaps, with a little magical assistance, he would be able to…

No, you horny dumbass, you are NOT seducing her into submission! How would I even do that? Nazrinn was practically begging to ride my dick and I barely fumbled my way through the foreplay. If I can’t even do that right, how am I supposed to seduce someone who wants to kill me?

She probably fucks like mad, though.

Stop that!

-11hp

John’s decision was made for him as one of Lazakall’s hooked blades came screaming at him from the left. He only just managed to duck out of the way before a rising, backhanded swing from her other weapon caught him behind the knee. The strength of her attack swept John’s legs out from under him and he hit the ground hard. Lazakall sneered at him in disgusted disappointment as she brought both sickles down at once for the killing blow. Humans never did provide her with a challenge anyway.

The two blades bit into the wood of John’s spear, equipped just in time to block the attack. Stunned, Lazakall had no response for the double kick John drove into her gut. The damage was pitiful, but it was enough to shove her away and give John the time to get back on his feet.

Surprisingly, no one else entered the fight. What few bothered to stop their coupling only watched. Even the pile of Kobolds that had served as John’s landing cushion stopped their complaining to spectate. Some rule regarding a challenge to the chief must have been holding them back, a rule entirely in John’s favor. He decided to press the attack while he had the chance.

John charged with a shout that sounded almost manly, had it not ended as a choked yelp of pain. Lazakall slunk under the polearm and dodged to the right with liquid grace to counterattack. John stopped in his tracks and leapt backwards to avoid the slashing blade, only to be driven back into it with a powerful whip of his opponent’s tail.

-9hp

The blow knocked the wind out of John’s lungs and sent him stumbling forward as the sickle drew a fine cut through his armor. He struggled to inhale and spun around to deal with whatever follow-up was coming, but instead found that the Kobold Chief had backed away. Her weapons were to her sides as she circled John, predatory, her nostrils flaring to take in the scent of his fresh wound. She kept her shoulders high and her head low as she stalked, each step with the methodical precision of a machine. She would occasionally twitch as if to make a move- but never did. John, with his nerves in a tightly bound knot, took the invitation.

He tried to feint a low thrust to prevent her from ducking to slip away again. Lazakall read the hesitation in his movements and parried the weapon with one powerful swing. The **** nearly knocked the spear from his hands and he was left open to her riposte, an upward slash looking to lop off John’s arm. It missed by an inch as he dove to the side, tucking into a roll to put one of the tent’s support struts between him and his assailant.

Hey, I did it! I dodge rolled!

John’s enthusiasm was short lived. Elated as he was to have a moment of reprieve, the fact remained that he was under half health and had barely scratched Lazakall. As expected, John was getting nowhere fighting fair; she was an expert and he was less than a novice. Everything he’d learned about fighting came from video games and comics, neither of which involved any work on his part. John didn't like it, but he had to admit that he truly knew nothing about how to fight.

He stepped sideways and kept pace with Lazakall as she continued to circle around him, keeping the wooden pole between them. Her sickles shone in the emberlight as she twirled them, but John wouldn’t take the bait again, he focused on staying calm and looking for an opportunity. It was time to start fighting smart.

Lazakall stopped and, for a moment, looked pleased before she charged in herself. She ran low and quicker than John expected, launching from perfect stillness to a headlong rush with the speed of a snake’s strike. John readied for an attack from his left, realizing too late that it was her turn to feint. With a serpentine pivot, Lazakall lurched her body to her left, hooked her sickles around the pole, and swung her body legs first into John.

-10hp

John took the kick to the face and sharp claws punctured his cheek before he was sent hurtling to the ground several feet away. He rolled to a stop near one of the ember piles and grit his teeth to keep from shouting and worsening the wound before Gamer’s Body could close it. He laid in the dirt and listened to the Kobold shouts and cheers that were steadily overpowering the sounds of constant fucking. John strained his head to see what he already knew: the fight was gaining more attention and the audience was celebrating the beating he was receiving. He groaned and felt his face flush with shame, even in the heat of combat. One day into gaining powers that would be able to turn his life around and John found himself the subject of jeers from the lowest level trash mobs he could find. They hooted and howled for their chief as they watched him get his ass handed to him. Worst of all was that, as he struggled to his feet, John saw Lazakall once again waiting patiently for him to get up.

She’s toying with me.

John felt pathetic. Lazakall was a chief, sure, but she was still just a Kobold. The Gamer wasn’t supposed to be taken down by the leader of a bunch of stupid lizard people, he was supposed to die heroically as he struck the finishing blow on an ancient and powerful dragon. The game wasn’t supposed to be like this, the game was supposed to be where all of his inadequacies didn’t matter and he could become a legend, where he could go to escape his sack of shit life. And yet here he was, a morsel of food being played with before dinner.

Dinner...

The thought struck him in the chest.

Mom.

The image of his mother sitting alone at the dinner table, worried sick about her son, flashed through his mind, unbidden. What would she do? What would she go through? Would John’s body vanish with the barrier, leaving his mother to forever wonder where her son had disappeared to? Or would his mangled corpse pop back into reality in their backyard, a more gruesome sight than his mother ever deserved to see, waiting to be discovered? What a terrible thing for a son to do to his parents, to die under their care, for nothing.

John pounded a fist on the ground.

I am not going to die today.

The burning shame changed to a blaze that lit John’s synapses on fire. Something had changed. It felt like he could see clearer and move faster. His opposing instincts were no longer clashing, constantly switching between predator and prey responses. They became something else, something more cunning, calculating. John knew this feeling, it was the same feeling he got when he fell into a groove while gaming, when he leaned forward, focused in, and entered what he jokingly called ‘Pro Mode.’

Lazakall had been growing bored until she sensed John’s renewed vigor. She closed in, looking to squeeze a little more fun out of the fight. John reached into his inventory and pulled out a reliable trick, his phone. The LED was still on from earlier and illuminated the tent to the painful chagrin of the Kobolds within, Lazakall included. She recoiled, but unlike her lessers, the chief did not drop her weapons and clench her eyes shut. She hissed and batted the phone from John’s hand with the back of her blade. It was a move that John, for once, expected. It gave him the opening to spin his weapon around and kick up a spray of embers with the butt of the spear.

7 damage, burning

The burning coals struck all across Lazakall’s body, leaving behind visible scorch marks and a howl of pain. The chieftain backstepped and swatted at the pieces that remained on her, an opportunity John did not waste. He lunged.

15 damage, piercing

And again.

16 damage, piercing

Twice John watched the stone tip of his weapon sink into Lazakall’s unprotected belly and withdraw with a flow of dark red blood. It was satisfying, validating, proof that he was not completely useless. He thrust for a third attack, but the spear met only air. Lazakall had fallen to all fours and spun to sweep John’s legs out from under him once again with her powerful tail. His breath left him for a moment.

-6hp

Lazakall closed the distance, still on all fours, at alarming speed. John tried to kick her away again but couldn’t muster up the leverage with her mass so low to the ground. She covered his body in an instant and opened her mouth wide, her plethora of fangs glistening with saliva and eager to rend flesh. John suddenly felt an appreciation for what it was like to face down an angry crocodile. Again, he interposed his spear between himself and certain doom, only this time the Kobold chief’s jaws bit clean through the already damaged wood. Splinters and spit fell on his face as he jammed the broken ends of the spear into his opponent’s throat before she could make a second attempt.

2 damage, piercing
1 damage, piercing

It wasn’t much, but it was enough. Lazakall let out a strangled hiss and reared back, off John’s shoulders, to tear the improvised weapons away. John let them go and rolled over to squirm out from underneath her, dragging himself upright with a help of one of the many wooden poles.

-13hp

“Fuck!”

A mind-reeling pain tore through John’s leg before he could fully stand and he fell to one knee. He looked back and saw the tip of the spear buried in his calf, courtesy of the now bloodthirsty Lazakall behind him. She tore it out, which hurt like hell but thankfully did no additional damage, and made to stab again with a frenzied grin on her face. John dug in and used the strut for support to drive back a **** mule kick despite his injury. His bare heel caught Lazakall in the snout for a single point of damage but nevertheless sent her sprawling backwards. John limped to his feet.

Lazakall landed with her face in the crotch of one of her fucked silly warriors. John watched her sniff, then open her eyes to realize her location. Something inside lit up, and for a moment John thought she was about to bite the poor guy’s dick off. In actuality, she was enthusiastically slobbering all over his still cum coated member, reveling in his scent. It was weird, to say the least, but it bought John a little time to recover.

Which, speaking of, was exactly the kind of item he wished he had right now. He had a sliver of hp left, a grand total of 5 before he kicked the bucket. It might as well have been 1, as far as he was concerned; Lazakall was strong enough that any attack would be enough to kill him. In contrast, she was looking pretty beat up, but without a health meter to go by, John had no idea how far he was from winning the fight. His chances seemed small, but a small chance was still a chance.

John did have one advantage: his phone had landed screen down, leaving the LED to light up the area behind him. It was harsh compared to the soft glow of the ember pits, bright and steady, casting shadows with clean edges. Undoubtedly, keeping track of John would be a pain in the ass for the Kobold leader. The frustrated squint on her face as she retrieved her weapons proved that theory. All John had to do was waver his stance to keep his shadow off her eyes. Lazakall barked at something or someone and crouched in front of one of the pits. John glanced backwards and saw one of the males creeping towards the light with a blanket in hand. He only had a few fleeting seconds left of his advantage and, plan or not, he intended to use them.

A half-panicked, half-furious yell burst from John’s chest as he rushed forward. Unidentifiable black shapes flew towards Lazakall as John hurled textbook after textbook at her. She dodged the first but took the second to the chest, opening the way for a few more to smack into her skull. At 2 to 3 damage a piece, the overall sum was not negligible; Frank’s foot could attest to that. His last book, the blank Kama Sutra, flew wide just as the light behind John vanished. Lazakall remained standing, enraged. John took the last thing worth throwing in hand as she charged, full of regret, anxiety, and hope in equal measures.

Goodbye, old friend.

Droplets of semen fell from Old Faithful as John flung the magazine directly at the Kobold Chief’s head. The pages fluttered open and smacked over Lazakall’s snout like a damp hood. Her charge faltered from the stun of the strange impact, then slowed to a halt as she inhaled. A tentative sniff was followed by a lungful of Gamer musk as his opponent’s body started slackening. As he’d hoped, John’s cum soaked magazine was potent enough to send Lazakall into a trance similar to the one she had earlier. The oversexed lizards really seemed to love cum.

Sneak attack!
19 damage, piercing
12 damage, piercing
8 damage, piercing

John drove all three of his knives, one at a time, into Lazakall’s torso before she could regain her wits. Each one was paired with a shout and an adrenaline fueled shove. The Kobold’s body offered little resistance as he **** her back; it was too late by the time her mind registered the pain. She wheezed out a trickle of blood with one last attempt to hook John by the neck, a limp and useless effort. One final shove with all his weight sent the chief toppling backwards, directly onto the bed of coals.

16 damage, burning
+100 exp

-
<Level Up!>
+5 Stat points
Limit Break Unlocked
-

-
<Achievement Unlocked!>
Those Who Fight Further
Defeat your first Boss
+1 to all Stats
+200 exp
+$500
-

-
<Quest Complete!>
Rockscale Rumble
+300 exp
Black Claw acquired
TakTak Charm acquired
-

-
<Loot>
1x Kobold Prime Claw
5x Kobold Fang
7x Kobold Scale
$250
-

John scattered the barrage of windows to confirm what they said: Lazakall was dead and burning in front of him. There was no victory fanfare or confetti to celebrate with, only the overwhelming sense of pride and relief that welled in John’s chest, and that was more than enough. His entire body burst with excitement and a level of giddiness he had not felt since he was a child, he had done it!

“YYYYYYYYYYEEEEESS!” John jumped and landed with an overly dramatic fist pump. “Suck on that, you stupid, sexy Kobold! You just got schooled by John Newman, AKA Uhjonser, AKA Rockdropper, AKA The. Fucking. Gamer!”

All of John’s pain vanished beneath his celebration, as had any awareness of the audience that had surrounded him the entire time. All that mattered was that he was not dead. He didn’t suck as a gamer, or a mage, or whatever. John fought for his life and won without help.

Not counting the Goddess that had apparently gifted him with magic, of course.

The entire audience was staring at John in silence by the time his combat high wore off. He felt an immediate wave of embarrassment as he realized that every single Kobold in the tent had witnessed his ridiculous display. Red in the face, John cleared his throat and set about gathering his scattered belongings. Perhaps if he wished to be invisible hard enough, he would be.

Nobody stopped John as he retrieved his things. In fact, that Black Claw who had covered his phone lifted the blanket for him. He left the broken spear and blank book where they were and walked over to the ember pit where his enemy’s remains smoldered. He contemplated whether or not it was worth it to retrieve the magazine, up until it burst into flames, that was.

“F,” John saluted.

In his mourning, John had not noticed the congregation of female Kobolds slowly closing on his location. Some walked, some crawled, but all of them drew towards him almost reverently. They had him surrounded before finally catching his notice, each reaching out to touch him.

“Ah! What the-” John jumped in alarm. “Hey now, everything is fine. No need for the touching.”

None paid any heed to his words as they pressed their bodies up against him, unabashedly groping for his dick or any part they could find. Unsurprisingly, John felt his cock begin to stiffen, much to his sudden harem’s delight.

“H-hang on a sec!” John stuttered, half-heartedly trying to push them away. “Haven’t you all had enough sex for one day? Weren’t you just getting fucked raw, like, five minutes ago?”

If they could understand him, they did not care.

“No, seriously, you don’t have to do this. Let’s all take a breather and-”

A deft claw undid the button of his slacks.

“Alright that’s it, I’m out!”

John swallowed hard, steeled his will, and cast Exit Instance.