Everything

I look at my phone screen and Mister Anonymous massage: „Should I really write him?“, and then back to the icognito tab on laptops screen. My hands on the keyboard I type in the word „pornhub“ and open the website. I look at all the videos excited and disgusted at the same time. My hand roams over the different categories and I choose teen for my first porn flick. I select a video of a tiny looking blonde with a pink flexible dildo in hands and open it. Without further thinking I open WhatsApp on my screen and write Mister Anonymous that I will start now. The video goes on for 12 minutes and starts with a nice strip by the young girl before she starts to slowly blow the flexible pink dildo. She looks really innocent, but she easily pushes the dildo in her mouth and down her throat. I don’t know how she’s doing that, but the look of her bulging throat is somehow hot. I try to study everything and see that everytime she pushes the dildo in her throat she seems to swallow. „Is that how she’s doing it?“, I think and take a note on my IPad that was laying on the table. I notice how I start to get hotter by every passing minute and slowly pull my spandex shorts down. Under them I wear a black CK thong. It’s not noticeably wet now, but slightly damp in the front. The video is coming to an end and the blonde girl is now fucking her vagina with the flexible dildo. Suddenly I notice a message by Mister Anonymous and open it: „Good girl.“ and a pornhub link is the message. I open WhatsApp on my laptop and open the link in another incognito tab.

The girl in the video is a petite looking, brown haired teen with small breasts wearing a sports outfit with leggings and a small sports top. The story of the porn flick is relatively simple. She is having a personal training and her colored coach is correcting her form a few times before she grabs his massive lump through his pants and starts to massage it. She then gets on her knees in front of him and slowly pulls down his shorts, revealing the „biggest penis I have ever seen“ -another note on my IPad-. The girl is sucking the huge member now and can barely fit it inside of her mouth. The monstrous size and the look of her stretched lips excite me more and I pull my oversized T-Shirt over my head revealing the black CK bra that suited to my thong. I open the bra and it slips down my stomach and into my lap. I just throw it to the floor and my left hand wanders up my body to my left breast and starts gently caressing, rubbing and squeezing it. My nipples are painfully hard and need my attention. The first silent moan escapes my lips while I pinch my nipples and I can immediately feel my thong start to moisten up. In the next scene the petite brown haired girl is finally being fucked in her pussy by the black monster. Her loud moans are really turning me on and I take another note of it before finally rubbing my pussy through my black CK thong. The material is immediately soaking up my juices and having a big wet spot. „What a turn on her moans are.“. The video is coming to an end and I receive a new message with a new link by Mister Anonymous. Before opening it I watch the end of this porn movie though and can see the black guy shooting his load inside of the girls pussy. When he pulls out his cock cum gushes out of the gaping pussy and I can feel a tingling between my legs and inside of my stomach while a louder moan escapes my lips. As the credits of the video begin I open up the new link. The video is similar and also really hot. This time the video shows a petite blonde teen girl who catches her black step brother masturbating. She offers help and soon she’s sucking his massive dick before riding him in a cowgirl position. In between I lost my thong and am now rubbing my pussy and especially my clit furiously, while moaning and biting my bottomlip. The wetness increases and my excitement rises even more. Then something unexpected happens in the video. Her black stepbrother admits to her that he watched anal porn and never had the chance to try it, because every girl he slept with said he is way too big, but his tiny stepsister just positions herself on all fours, spreads her buttcheeks and says: „But please go slow.“. Next the black porn actor steps behind her and slowly, but steadily pushes his monster in her formerly tight butthole. The strange thing is that this action doesn’t disgust me, even though I think it should. No, it even gets me off! Two fingers are now moving in and out of my pussy, while the fingers of my other hand are rubbing my clit. I just stop to take another note and there I realize that the naughtiness, the forbidden are what excites me about this. Anal sex is something that everyone keeps a secret, that everyone says is disgusting and not clean and socially ostracized. Even though I think it would be really painful it would be something like a "fuck you" to the image I've been pressed into and goes against the expectations and perceptions others have of me in my home-village. This is the next note I take. In the end the black guy shoots his load on the girls face and I‘m close to orgasming. I write this to Mister Anonymous and receive another link.

I begin to notice similarities and differences between the girls. All have a similar body and size. They could all be described small, petite or tiny and are young, estimated between 18 years and 21 years old. „Could I be one of them?“, I ask myself. The first girl was cute and innocent, the girl in the second video also looked cute and innocent, but under her clothes wore some tattoos and a navel piercing; things I‘d definitely describe as slutty. The next video is already running, but I’m deep in thought. Now I notice the new girl. She has a similar figure, but her nipples are pierced and she has more tattoos. Her hairs are dyed blonde and she looks even more like a slut, but this gets me even hotter. The new porn video is categorized in BDSM, humiliation, degradation, dominating and submissiveness. The girl is getting fucked in every way possible, the black man in this video slaps her face with his cock, slaps her ass, uses handcuffs and a ball gag on her, spits on her and the list can go on and on. I can’t focus on the video, because I’m lost deep in my thoughts, still masturbating and keeping myself close to an orgasm, but because of my thoughts and not because of the porn running in front of me. Suddenly my phone rings. Still on the edge of an orgasm I look at the screen and see Mister Anonymous masked face. I accept the call and am surprised that it’s a FaceTime video call. This is the first time Mister Anonymous sees my naked form. Now I feel humiliated to be naked in front of a dressed stranger who even wears a mask. But this humiliation is setting a spark inside of me. „Hello my beautiful Sophie. You look gorgeous flustered like this. Please keep on doing what you did before. I’m happy that you’re fulfilling your first homework. You’re doing great until now.“, are Mister Anonymous first words after studying my naked body closely. I lean my phone against my laptops screen. The fingers of my left hand are still inside of my pussy and were playing with it the whole time. Now I don’t know if I should keep going or not. „Come on, Sophie. I know you like being watched and want to play with yourself. Keep going, slut!“, is Mister Anonymous reaction to my short pause. And without thinking my fingers are back to playing with my pussy. In and out they move. „He called me a slut, am I one?“, I ask myself, but the answer is the pleasure I receive by being called a slut. The video comes to an end with me moaning and Mister Anonymous watching me pleasuring myself.

In the next video there is another teen slut with dyed pink hair, pierced nipples, navel and tongue, erotic and lewd tattoos and obvious breast implants. The more links Mister Anonymous sends me, the sluttier the girls. This time there isn’t just one black man, there are three black men. The story is about a young cheerleader who is seduced by three black males at her pool party and fucked at the public beach in front of the house. A mixture of group sex and exhibitionism. In the end they are having vaginal, anal and oral sex at the same time with her. I’m pleasuring myself even faster now and am on the edge of cuming and I’m not just looking at the porn flick, I’m subconsciously looking at Mister Anonymous studying me. Then it happens: The guys pull out their dicks and the girl moves to her knees, looking up at the guys smiling and rubbing themselves, until they cum one after another. The girl pushes out her tongue and opens her mouth while the guys cover her in their juices. At this moment the biggest orgasm of my life catches me of guard. My whole body is shaking and my moans are nearly screams of lust. I even black out for a minute. It’s an orgasmic high that I’ve never experienced before. Mister Anonymous is watching this spectacle happen right in front of his eyes. After a few minutes I‘m slowly coming back to my senses again, but still in orgasmic high. This is the moment Mister Anonymous asks me about my address and without even really thinking about it and noticing the impact the answer could have on our relationship I give Mister Anonymous an answer on his question. „Thank you, my slut Sophie. You have been amazing today and can be proud of yourself. You’ve made your first sexual discoveries. We will meet eachother tomorrow at 10am on Chatroulette to chat about today’s experience. Have a good night and see you tomorrow, slut.“, with this he just ends the call, leaving me alone coming down from my high, confused, scared and naked.

The coming down stage is where my doubts and regrets begin. Slowly I start to realize that Mister Anonymous asked for my address and stupid me gave it to him without thinking about the risks. Now he knows my real name, knows where I live and where he can find me. My mind is spinning and a tears start to well up in my eyes: „How stupid am I? How can I be such an idiot? Why did I even take the freaking call?!“, my mind is spinning around these questions, but I can’t find any answers. My own behavior scares me, because I never behaved like this. „The orgasm was great, but why did I humiliate myself in front of Mister Anonymous like this and why was my orgasm this strong, no earth shattering?“, my thoughts go on. Exhausted I leave my clothes on the floor and walk into my small bathroom. My body is full of sweat pearls and still blushing everywhere. Nipples still errect and pussy a wet mess. I just clean myself off with wet wipes, because I’m way too exhausted to take a shower now and move to my bedroom where I just fall onto my big 1.80m wide and 2.20m long bed and slip under the blanket. Within a few seconds I fall asleep. The sleep is not dreamless though. It’s filled by the erotic images I saw in the porn videos today and most of the time I’m in place of the female porn actresses. My vagina produces a slight wetness between my legs again.