Evelyn 17 - Rabbits

When Evelyn first saw the rabbits her mother brought home from the farmer's market, she fell in love. Her mother made her promise to take care of them no matter what, and Evelyn swore she would. Then, she asked her mother where they would put them, and her mother said she had saved up money to buy a hutch for them out back.

And for once, Evelyn’s mother had told the truth. The hutch was there when they got home. Her mother smoked a cigarette while she watched her daughter place the rabbits inside. Later, her stepfather stormed into the small kitchen while they were eating canned ravioli for dinner. He asked where the rats had come from and who had bought them. When her mother said she did, he asked whose money she used. Then they began to scream, and Evelyn stayed very still. She imagined she was hiding in a meadow with her rabbits. Waiting for the wolves to leave. A glass shattered against the wall, and Evelyn's mother screamed at her to go to her room.

The next morning, her mother told her the rabbits could stay, but she couldn't talk about them. She would also be responsible for cleaning their hutch, feeding them, and caring for them. Or else, Evelyn would have to let them go.

“What will I feed them?” She asked her mom.

Her mom stared at her with dead, cold eyes.

“There’s grass, give them that. I won’t be buying you anything. I got you those rabbits, and I took hell for them. Now figure it out.”

So Evelyn made it her mission. Her parents rarely took her to school, so she spent most of her time outside, caring for those creatures every day. On the days she walked to class herself, she would rush home right after school to make sure they were ok. She would brush them, feed them, and love them with her whole heart.

Their names were Mary and Juney.

One day, her father came home early from work and saw Evelyn holding her rabbits. He stared for a moment, watching as she put them back in their hutch and ran away into the woods. Later that night, he went into a rage.

"She's always with those damn rabbits!" He screamed. It wasn’t the first time. He regularly brought it up. Evelyn never knew when or where he would. Her mother would yell back, and Evelyn would hide in her room. She learned very quickly to avoid them both. She learned to read their moods and learn their schedules. She learned to be invisible and never share what she was doing.

She made a shell for herself, and she lived in it.

Mary and Juney loved greens, and Evelyn’s mother often threw an excess of extras in the trash. Later in life, Evelyn often wondered whether her mother had done it on purpose. But she would never know. Regardless, she would only rummage through the trash for greens when her parents were both asleep. She would only go to see Mary and Juney when they both left for work.

She had grown fond of making outfits for them with some of her old clothes. She would draw the designs in her notebook with colored pencils, then cut them herself. Mary and Juney were so very gentle and never fought Evelyn when she put their outfits on. But they often began chewing on them, and the dresses would only last for about a day or so. The first set was too big, but the second was just right. And by the third set, Evelyn had begun to grow a skill for it. She made a red dress for Mary and a blue one for Juney.

She felt certain the dresses would last longer this time.

Once they were ready. Evelyn went out late in the morning, rummaged through the trash can, and pulled out the greens she could find. There was a lot more today; her mother had tossed out a full, fresh salad. She washed them under the hose spigot, then ran towards the driveway. She stopped and peered past the garage, letting out a sigh of relief when she saw all the cars were gone.

Then she turned to the hutch.

And found the door open.

Two balls of fur rested against the house.

Evelyn stared, stiff and frozen. The hutch door blew in the breeze.

Mary and Juney were lifeless, their fur was matted in red. The same darkened red that spattered the side of the house where her stepfather had dashed them.

He had found them in a rage. She would find out later. Angry at something that didn't matter and couldn't be explained.

And no matter how much Evelyn called out their names, Mary and Juney didn't wake up. She prayed over them as tears rolled down her face. She prayed for her best friends who had spent their last moments in the terror she woke up to every day.

In the terror she would now have to face alone.

And it was her fault.

If she had just been more careful, if she had hidden her movements better, she could have protected them. She could have kept them safe. Instead, she had let them be killed.

Evelyn put their dresses on and hugged them close.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” She said, again and again. Her eyes red and her nose running. And when the tears ran out, she went into the garage and found her mother's rusted gardening tools and an old grocery bag. She carefully placed each of their soft bodies into it and carried them into a small patch of woods.

Evelyn dug two small graves and placed Mary and Juney gently inside them. She took her time covering them both, carefully crafting two perfect little mounds. She placed stones around them and wildflowers on top.

Then, she sat and stared, a part of her hoping they might come back if she waited long enough. Her shell growing ever stronger as the sun set and the flowers wilted.

–

Evelyn watched Elijah play Crusaders on the couch as she blended smoothies in the kitchen. They had begun seeing each other twice a week, and every week, Evelyn grew to love them more and more. Elijah had such a calm air about him. He was funny, gentle, and kind. When she was with him, it felt like she was reconnecting with a part of herself from a long time ago.

As she turned the blender on low, she heard Elijah groan.

"God, really?!" He shouted.

"Are you stuck again?" Evelyn asked. Elijah nodded.

"I cannot beat this platinum run! I'm even using the Sweeny build you recommended!"

Evelyn turned off the blender and poured their smoothies.

"Did you take your ultra boots like I said?"

"Yep."

"Are you level three hundred or more?"

"Uh-huh."

"Hmmmm," Evelyn walked behind Elijah and leaned over the couch, handing him a glass. He took it, eyes still fixed on the screen.

"Ahhhh," she said. "There's the problem."

"What? Is it the armor?! I thought that might be it. Is it? No wait, don't tell me. Ok, tell me."

"You're just not good enough yet," Evelyn said playfully. Elijah turned slowly and glared.

“Really?” he said sarcastically.

She laughed and gave him a wink.

"Gotta get good, babe," Evelyn said, scruffling his hair before pushing herself off the couch and walking to her windows. She leaned against the wall and peered out over the skyline.

Elijah laughed and set his phone aside, smelling the green smoothie Evelyn had given him.

"What uh… what's in this?"

"Kale, it's good for you," Evelyn said.

She watched as Elijah inspected it closely, then took a sip. He jerked back with an over-exaggerated grimace. Evelyn laughed softly.

"Is it good?" She asked.

"Great," Elijah wheezed, "Just fantastic."

"It is not that bad!" Evelyn shouted. Elijah smiled brightly and took another sip, this time without a reaction. He looked so cute in that sunlight. His lean frame sat perfectly in his boxy tee. And the wireframe glasses framed his face wonderfully. He was so incredibly handsome, yet wasn’t flashy about it at all. She wondered how many women had passed him on the street, not realizing how amazing he actually was. But Evelyn did. And now, that amazing man was sitting on her couch, laughing his ass off over his smoothie bit.

"I'm teasing," Elijah finally breathed. "Thanks for making it, babe."

"Uh-huh." She smiled, taking a sip from her own smoothie before setting it down and looking back out the window.

"Now I just have to beat this damn run," he said.

"Oh! That reminds me," Evelyn turned and walked into her bedroom.

"What do you have cooking over there?" Elijah asked.

"Nothing! Just a little present, please hold…" Evelyn walked over to her vanity and grabbed a red envelope. She froze when she saw her burner phone next to it. She had debated going through it for days. Battling with the question of whether or not it would be right to delete those videos.

Then, hearing Elijah begin to hum along with the battle music in the other room, Evelyn impulsively grabbed it and found the videos Ivan had taken. She quickly selected and deleted them all.

It wasn't something Elijah needed to know about. It was just work, nothing more. And now, it was in the past.

Before she could close it, Evelyn caught Ivan’s number in her messages. Confused, she clicked on it.

Her heart sank when she saw he had sent a copy of the videos to himself.

She didn't know when he did it or what he planned to do with them. But she felt fear all the same.

"Watcha doing in there?" Elijah called out. An explosion came from his phone. "Aw, come on! I died again..."

"Nothing! Sorry, I just… hang on." She put the phone down and took a deep breath. There was no way Ivan could get those videos to Elijah. He probably didn't even want to. Ivan just wanted the videos for himself, as did they all. She pulled open a drawer and dropped the phone inside, then walked out ot Elijah.

"Still having trouble?" She asked.

Elijah sighed.

"Yeah…"

"Then you're going to need this." She said, handing him the envelope. She stood in front of him, eagerly watching as he opened it.

"Holy shit," he said. "Is this a Crusador's gift card?!"

"It is," Evelyn said warmly.

"What?! You didn't need to do that! I didn't even know they made these."

"Well, I did! You have to scan the QR code on the back." Evelyn tapped on the card with her nail, and Elijah flipped it over. With a boyish grin, he scanned the card with his phone, eyes widening as the transaction completed. He looked up at Evelyn in shock.

"Holy shit, ten THOUSAND gold, Eve?!"

"Do you love it?!" She said.

"That is so much money!" Elijah looked back down at his phone. Then, in a softer tone, "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," She said. Leaning down and kissing his forehead. Elijah looked up and smiled, giving her another gentle kiss on the lips. It made her feel that familiar old feeling. A welling in her chest that she was still learning to welcome.

It took her to a place she had buried in a forest long ago.

Evelyn didn't know how to express it, but she did the best she could. She walked around the couch and straddled Elijah, kissing him tenderly as her arms trailed up his chest. Elijah moaned and moved his hands to her hips, touching her in the same way Ivan had last night.

He would know that once he saw the videos.

A vice gripped Evelyn's chest. She stood quickly, pushing her hair behind her ears. Elijah watched as she made her way back over to the windows and picked up her smoothie resting on the table.

"Playing hard to get, huh?" Elijah said jokingly, grabbing his phone and turning it back on. Evelyn felt ease wash over her when she saw him react calmly.

"Well, I don't want to make it too easy." She said.

Elijah chuckled, another explosion erupting from his phone.

"Well, don't you worry, we've got all the time in the world," he said.

Evelyn stared at him a moment longer, admiring how his dark hair drooped and framed his face.

"I'm nervous to meet your friends tonight," she said.

"Oh, don't be," Elijah said. "They’re super chill, you're going to love them. Shit! No wait, YES!!"

He looked up.

"I beat it!" He shouted.

Evelyn smiled, "Good for you, babe."

She glanced down at the floor and shifted her feet. After a moment, Elijah spoke.

"Hey," he said. Evelyn looked up.

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry."

Evelyn shook her head. "Why?"

"You're clearly nervous. I just sort of, you know, waved it off."

Evelyn stared blankly, genuinely uncertain how to react to that statement, because she had never heard someone say it before.

"Oh," she said.

"Yeah, what are you nervous about?" He asked.

Evelyn hadn't expected that question, either. She laughed for a moment. Already knowing the real answer.

She was afraid that they would judge her. She was afraid that they would see what she was, and reject her.

She was afraid this would be the beginning of losing Elijah.

"I just… I want to make a good impression," she said. Stepping out of her shell more than she had in years.

"You will," Elijah said, looking straight into her eyes. "You are amazing, Evelyn."

Evelyn looked away as her heart swelled.

"I should probably start getting ready," she said.

"Ok, did you want to keep talking?" Elijah asked. Evelyn shook her head.

"No, I'm alright. You play your game and relax, I'll be ready soon," She said.

"Sounds good, and thanks again, Eve," Elijah said, returning to his phone. She looked back at him, watching for a moment as he played his game. Never had her heart ached so much.

"You deserve it," She whispered, not loud enough for him to hear, before slipping away into her room.

--

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