Edwin is the caller

More out of reflex than habit, I slide the green button over the touchscreen, and I bring my phone to my ear. The caller's number is identical to the one that sent me that mysterious message about the Monkey Paw App. On a hunch, my tired voice muttered the name of the person I thought was calling me.

"Edwin, is that you?" I asked, trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. More importantly, I was trying to figure out if I was still dreaming or just hallucinating. i wasn't sure if there were any other viable options here. With my free hand, I lifted up the hem of one pant leg, exposing the smooth-shaven skin of my shin. Seemingly overnight, A large mole had formed on my left-ankle. That was far from the only inconsistency.

"Yes, it's me Bryce." Came his low voice over the phone. "I didn't wake you up I hope?"

"Erh... I don't think so?" I felt over the fabric of the unfamiliar pajama bottoms I was wearing, taking in its texture. What put me off more was the shape I traced over my legs, as I ran my hand from the sole of my foot, all the way up to the roundness of my butt.

Almost too round.

"You don't think so?" Edwin queried.

"I think I'm still dreaming. Some weird stuff is going on right now, and I'm not sure what to think of it."

I propped myself up to the edge of my bed and sat myself upright. My head hanging over my fidgeting legs, I shut my eyes and tried to distract myself from the weird sight of my new legwear by focussing more on the conversation I was having with my... acquaintance.

"Okay, look Bryce. That weird stuff? It might have something to do with that link I shared you last night. You know the one, the link to the app that grants you wishes."

"What of it?" I asked curtly.

"I know you used it, dude. The app sent me a notification sometime last evening. Completely ignored my phone's airplane mode for good measure - weird magic shenanigans I guess." He took a deep breath. "Anyhow, it messaged me that you used my link to grant yourself a wish."

I frowned. "Why would it tell you that?" More worried, I pressed. "What did it say exactly?"

"Not much, to be fair. Basically, exactly what I told you it said. Wishes aren't meant for sharing. And I don't think the Monkey Paw App would allow it to begin with."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, like I already said. 'Weird magic shenanigans'. The app grants wishes in the most convoluted, inadvertent ways. The kind of ways you wouldn't want your wishes to be granted. Hence the name 'Monkey Paw', I suppose. Precisely because of that, I'm trying to get rid of my own wish, revert its effects. I just wanted to call you to say that I'm sorry."

I stared back at the pink and white pajama bottoms. Embarrassed at what I was wearing, I tugged them off using my toes. Several shivers travelled up my spine as the fabric slid over my legs, feeling almost too smooth for comfort. The shivers I felt laid bare an even bigger, more underlying problem.

My heart skipped a beat. "At least it didn't tell you what I wished for."

A pause followed, and I took it as an opportunity to examine everything a little closer. With my legs bare, I came to a dawning conclusion. There was static in my brain as it felt like I'd shortcircuited.

"Indulge me," Edwin pressed. "What exactly did you wish for?"

I patted myself down slowly and carefully. I had long let go of my phone, using both my hands to reenact the third verse of that children's song, going: '----, ---------, knees and toes, knees and toes', before ultimately jumping in the air and turning around as soon as I patted the flat (!!!) area right below my butt.

The cute landing strip of pubic hair that ran over my lower belly reached only about halfway towards my navel. However, lifting up my own blue pajama shirt, I could see a clear natural tanline of pale skin meeting even paler skin just above my navel, going all the way around my waist.

"You've got to be kidding me." I anxiously told the empty air around me. Following the landing strip down, I shivered the moment it pressed down on the waistband of a pair of white cotton panties. There was no doubt about it in my mind anymore.

Grabbing my phone in my hands again, I shouted loudly at Edwin before furiously ending our call.

"Edwin, you son of a bitch! That shitty app of yours didn't grant my stupid wish, it took the damn thing literally!"