Dream girl

“Just what she said: A reward for her champion.” He shrugs, “A walking wet dream, fairly literally. Visually, a walking advertisement for adult activities: A huge chest, a tiny waistline, huge hips, lots of jiggle in your backside, and so on. Oh, and apparently her champion has a ferish: You are lactating… permanently. Most women, if they ignore the discomfort, will stop making milk after a while. You, not so much: Those tanks will never run dry. Your production is limited by how fast the milk can leave, and that is all.”

“So I need to look into Polymorph magic… well, I can get the Alteration Sphere…” now that I'm thinking about it, my voice sounds like a woman from a porn flick, all breathy.

“That's not going to help,” **** shakes his head, “It's Divine in nature. If you have the associated organs removed, they'll be back before the doctor is done putting away his knives. No spell will undo it. For the curse to go away, she needs to release it, or you need to stop being a champion entirely.”

I consider that, “I am not going to give her the satisfaction.” I shake my head, “Oh, also… can your sister hear us now?”

“No… we can't spy on each other that way,” **** shakes his head. “Why do you ask?”

“There's a loophole in your rules about giving me information.”

**** raises one of his black flame eyebrows over the cheap mirrored sunglasses he's wearing. “I'm listening.”

I chuckle, “While you can't just tell me something, I can guess, and you can confirm if I'm right or wrong.”

**** tilts his head, and I continue, “Which we did already. When I referred to your sister’s champion as female earlier, you tried to correct me on it, and couldn't… but you did tell me I wasn't quite right. And then your sister… she deals with birth, so I suppose I'll call her ‘Life’... also used masculine pronouns.”

**** pulls his head back, “Huh.”

“So. Life's champion: Male.”

“Yes,” **** confirms.

“And I'm guessing he's max level,” I start with my worst fears on the matter.

“Yes,” **** confirms.

“Okay, so I'll be playing catchup…” I consider, “He has a Starfinder base class.”

“Correct….” **** starts to smile… showing twin rows of very pointy teeth.

“Besides the boon from your sister, he does NOT have abilities from outside Starfinder.”

“Correct.” The man in the suit is smiling and nodding.

“He has full BAB,” I figure he probably doesn't. Starfinder characters can get by without magic thanks to tech and how the game is set up, and caster supremacy is a lot less pronounced, but four of the thirteen basic Starfinder classes are casters while five of them have full BAB, so it either confirms, or cuts out, a decent chunk. I'm hoping yes, but…

“Nope,” my sponsor shakes his head.

Pity. Eight classes left… “He's a caster.”

“Correct,” Ugh. Well, narrows it down to four.

“He uses Intelligence for his casting modifier.” Technomancer or Precog if yes, Witchwarper or Mystic if not.

“Nope,” Okay, so that narrows it down to two.

“He's a Witchwarper.” I hope…

“Nope.”

Don't tell me… “He's a Mystic with the Dreamer connection?”

“Correct,” **** nods sadly.

Ugh, that's rough. “So he's got the normal first level scouting ability, the sixth level ‘any spell’ ability, and the eighteenth level travel ability?”

“Correct,” **** nods sadly.

Ugh, the dreamer connection is SO overpowered. Okay, so… at 1st, they can, once a day, either duplicate any first level spell or learn a few facts about anyone with whom they're familiar. At sixth, they can duplicate any spell of a level they can cast as a full-round action by spending a resolve point. At eighteenth, they pick up the ability to visit anyone they're familiar with for a few minutes. The first level ability lets such a build scout safely over the course of several days, the eighteenth level ability gets them to their target (and back home), while the sixth level ability is the single most flexible thing in the game… and bypasses costs on costly spells.

“Great, just great. Once he knows I exist, I am going to die,” I shake my head.

“Correct,” **** smiles, “but you don't stay dead, do you?”

“No. And I picked that just because I'm paranoid,” I consider, taking a slow breath; it's one thing to consider dying when it's a character in a game. When I'm going to have to feel it… ugh. I take a deep breath. “Okay. I think I'll be able to do this eventually. I'm as ready as I'm going to be.”

My sponsor nods, “Be seeing you…”

The office fades out….