Dishmouni's Thoughts

As I was at home having a good sleep, unconsciously dreaming with depraved thoughts," It was a vivid and familiar place; I was on the sets of the recent item song. As the music kicked, I performed dance sequences of sultry and seductive steps right in between the male dancers. Two of the dancers who were dancing right next to me came close to my body. I was surprised as it was not part of the choreography; I looked at the director, who said it could be a steamy scene to captivate the audience. Reluctantly, I was gyrating my hips as they roamed their hands from my waist to my hips from both sides. Even though I'm not a prude and stranger to these touches, this being an item song for a movie, I was scared to shit but slowly getting excited by their touch as everyone on the set was looking at me with indifferent expressions. Slowly, their actions were becoming bolder, and strangely, my body couldn't reject me; I didn't know what was happening. To my shock, my hands were roaming across their body, feeling their muscles. Fuck everyone could see my tension, and I slowly went down the waistline of one of the dancers towards his crotch from his pants. God! What the fuck am I doing in front of everyone. Even then, I couldn't control my body; My body knelt in front of his trousers. My face was right in front of his crotch, and I was looking at his face; he had a sly face as if he knew that I would do this.

I slowly rubbed my face on his pants, feeling his dick with my face; as I lowered his pants, everyone was shocked to see how lewd of an actress I was, fuck to make it much gross, I started smelling his stash, licking around his cock and finally kissing his cock's tip from the fabric. Fuck! I knew I was a married cock deprived slut, but I never imagined I would do this in public, which could tarnish my fame and career. But sadly, that was turning me more; the dancer could see how lewdly I was enjoying it without any shame. That's it. I lowered his underwear; his bursting dick fell on my face. Everyone on the set went nuts as I diligently took his whole cock in my mouth. He could sense how good of a head I was giving him as I got my tongue out as I was sucking his cock. Shit! How did I get to this? This will ruin all my hard work and fame just that I couldn't control my lust over a dick. All I could think was how everyone would think that the famous married actress Dishmouni was getting fucked like a slut. As I excited him, he took me in a reverse cowgirl position as he lay on the floor. I could see the other male dancers were having great difficulty down with their hard dicks as they were watching me get fucked. Soon rest of the crew came closer while stroking their dicks, surrounding me, and started groping me. Many dicks on my face, and I began to lose the little consciousness I had as their dicks were touching my lips. I gave into lust as I couldn't win over cocks, as my character was exposed, revealing my darkest and most depraved secrets."

I woke up with an orgasm ruining my sheets. Fuck! That was crazy. Did; I just thought of multiple dicks in my dream? Whenever I felt that I could not be more depraved than this, I guess I proved it wrong. Thank god! It was a dream. But I could still feel the sensations of my hips and my love juices dripping from my cunt. I know even though it's disgusting and degenerate of me to taste it, I couldn't stop my fingers. I took those slimy juices and guided them to my tongue, Fuck! I should be extremely perverted to do something like this. Ahh shit! Dreaming of multiple dicks, even though having a husband and shamelessly getting turned on again while licking it is making me go nuts. Damn! I need to come back to my senses. I can't imagine letting my family, husband, and fans know how depraved I am in private.

I know even then, most of my fans are male, and they can't hide their lust for me, which I usually see in the comments of my Insta feed. I hustled to get here because I was not from a filmy background. Even though I started as a sexy model, most of my initial photoshoots were not published as they were pretty X-rated; it would only damage my reputation if they got out. I am not ashamed to say this, but I spread my legs to climb the ladder and did many item songs to get fame. It didn't matter if it was good fame or bad fame; I just cashed it, regardless of how they treated me. I was so **** to become an actress. The only good thing that happened was to be born with a curvy and voluptuous body. I feel very proud of my body, So even if men lust over my body, I feel happy and wet ( You can say I'm kinda perverted).

I don't know whether I should be happy or sad about my family naming me 'Dishmouni Randhika'; I used to get catcalled slut (Randi, which is a slur for slut in India) during my school days. At first, I felt oblivious, as if it was a compliment to beautiful women; by hearing the word again and again, I decided to know its meaning. When I understood that it was a term called to women who are highly promiscuous and who sleep with many men, it got me disgusted and ashamed. But surprisingly, that made me curious and watched porn. Until then, I used to watch vanilla porn, and when I searched for porn with slut, there were always videos with single women and various men, always differing in numbers. That was a mind-breaker for me; the amount of disgusting factor that I had while watching it subsided with my lust by watching the female's reaction and lust for cocks. Her face was so happy and lewd while being treated like that and used. Gradually, my thinking changed, and I was secretly looking forward to men calling me randi ( slut in Indian Dictionary). That didn't take long to create secret and depraved fantasies inside me and slowly turn me into a pervert for cocks. Which made me an early bird for giving up my virginity at 16. once I knew the feeling of sex, I couldn't stop myself from experiencing it again. But it was my depraved mind that made me try different cock sizes in my high school. I found it shocking that I actually became a slut that they once catcalled me, as others at my school knew about this bullying but didn't know that I was really shameless; I guess the people who only had sex with me will know what I am. But at that age, I didn't realize the seriousness of someone being called a slut; now, after becoming an actress, I know how important having a good and dignified character in the industry is.

Well, it's tiring to maintain a good rapport with your parents when they know their daughter is dancing to item songs half-naked like a stripper. Their concern as a parent is valid, but if not those initial days without any limelight and support, it isn't easy to become an actress. That was the only source for me to open the doors to become what I wanted. I will never regret that decision, but the only thing that made them sad was the open degradation I got from the public, media, and fans. I mean, which parent would love to see their daughter as a sex symbol who is lusted by men? Well! It would be more damaging if I told them I love this kind of attention. I'm not going to lie; I oversexualized my attire in those item songs to get instant fame. I was that **** for attention, and right from my teenage years, I always thrilled to wear sexy and provocative clothes; maybe that made me an exhibitionist. Coming to my brothers have mixed opinions about my choices but ultimately support or ignore (dumb choices) my decisions. It's evident as they can see how I was acting like an attention whore from my Insta posts and role selection. I only accepted movie roles if they had given me a hot or sexy appeal to the audience. I know I would sound so depraved to say this, but I feel hot and wet when I believe that my brothers would actually fap looking at my body. This is one of my taboo desires, as when I first started watching porn, I was always curious how a dick feels, so the men in my family were easy to access, So I secretly stole their boxers to smell their dicks. Maybe having smelled them countless times made me curious how their cock would feel inside my mouth. I always wonder what my family would think about me if my dark past and secret desires came to light. Only the future will tell how I decide my life with precaution or lust. If I truly behave like what I really am, it would definitely end a steep decline of worth and character, I need to make sure not to live in my depraved mind. Most of them believe that I cannot go any lower than this or cannot get more filthy, but they do not know about my craving for humiliation and degradation.

The most important person in my life is my husband, Suraj Katiyal. He is a successful entrepreneur. I glanced over at my sleeping husband, Suraj, wondering if he knew the real me. Does he know how depraved and perverted I truly am? But then again, why should I feel guilty? I deserve to enjoy the finer things in life, and Suraj provides me with that luxury. Plus, our arrangement works out quite nicely – he gets a gorgeous wife on his arm, and I get a steady supply of dick to keep my lust in check and my career intact. Not to mention, I genuinely enjoy our intimate moments together.

However, despite our seemingly perfect marriage, Suraj remains ignorant mainly of my past and my true nature. Sure, he sees the side of me that the world knows – the seductive actress who uses her body to get ahead in the industry. But beneath that exterior lies a deeply disturbed individual with twisted desires that would likely horrify him. Take, for instance, my infatuation with group sex scenarios involving multiple dicks. These fantasies consume my thoughts daily, leaving me yearning for release. Yet, I remain unsatisfied, trapped in a cycle of wanting and needing more. So, from time to time, I usually play with my dildos and salvage my perverted desires whenever Suraj is out on trips. Sometimes, I fear that my thirst for degradation and humiliation may eventually lead me to ruin.

He already gets jealous of the attention I receive online, with commenters constantly thirsting after my photos. While I enjoy the validation, No matter how depraved and perverted I am, I made myself clear that after getting married, I would be faithful to my partner and never disrespect him.

But even with Suraj's dick available to me, I can't shake the allure of pushing boundaries and exploring new forms of degradation. I've always been drawn to the idea of being used and objectified, and my dreams only amplify these feelings. Sometimes, I wish I could share my fantasies with Suraj, but I know he wouldn't understand. Instead, I settle for living vicariously through the women in the porn I watch.