De-anthropomorphic Device

The DED would change a person into an inanimate object. The person would still be alive, and he or she would be able to hear, smell, and feel, but not see unless changed into a statue or painting. The DED had settings for how long the change would hold: an hour, six hours, 12 hours, 24 hours, or 84 hours.

John decided to take the device to Beverly Hills to test it.

He spotted country music hottie Kelsea Ballerini.

He wondered what to change her into: a urinal, a jock strap, a stripper's g-string, a stripper pole, an anal plug, or something else.