Cut the pants off

Lauren lay in the bed of the pickup truck with her legs dangling out. Her butt was pointed up with a dozen painful porcupine quills sticking out of it.

"Cut off my pants?!" Lauren squealed. "Are you crazy?!"

"Lauren, hold still!" Aunt Debbie commanded, placing a firm hand on her back to pin her in place. "Moving around while I pull these quills could make things a lot worse. Now, we have to get the barbs out, and that means getting everything out of the way."

Just then cousin Jade returned with the first aid kit, pliers and scissors. Aunt Debbie took the scissors and, skillfully, began cutting the vital seams of Lauren's pants. Lauren squealed, both from shock and from discomfort as every movement wiggled the painful quills, causing them to dig deeper in her soft flesh.

Soon Aunt Debbie had cut Lauren's jeans to shreds. She pulled them away, exposing Lauren's high waisted, knee length undergarments.

"What on earth are these?" Jade asked, shocked.

"I'll tell you what they are: Spanx!" Vanessa exclaimed, recognizing Lauren's underwear immediately. "Lauren wears shaping panties!"