Curing erectile dysfunction

“Alright, we've given you all our clothes. This will help the homeless, right?”

— “No, actually this charity drive is to find a natural cure for erectile dysfunction.”

“What? How can our clothes possibly help with that?”

— “Oh, there are too many reasons to name.”

“Name three.”

— “OK. First, our experiments show that merely seeing a woman with her clothes off can increase a man's heartrate and increase blood circulation in all vital organs.”

“Uhm... You mean staring at our naked bodies will make dudes get hard?”

— “In layman's terms, yes. Second, we believe inhaling the scent of recently worn female undergarments can induce stronger erections and more powerful orgasms in heterosexual men.”

“You mean perverts are going to get off on sniffing the panties we just donated?”

— “Not just your panties. Also your shorts, sports bras, swim suits, or any other clothing worn directly against your bare skin that has been imbued with your sweat and other natural body fluids.”

“Gross. I don't want guys to sniff my panties. I thought you were going to wash them and send them to Africa or something.”

— “Don't be silly. That would be a terrible waste of your natural aphrodisiacs. That brings me to my third point. You might have heard that women naturally produce pheromones that have a beneficial effect on men. Wearing clothing almost complete blocks the spread of these pheromones, turning men asexual even when surrounded by fertile young women like yourself.”

“Oh no! That sounds bad. I don't want my boyfriend to become asexual.”

— “Then you'd better keep your clothes off! Anything bigger than a pair of bikini bottoms significantly reduces your pheromone emissions. On the positive side, did you know that just a couple of naked women can invigorate all men in a 50 yard radius?”

“No way!”

—“It's true! But there is one downside to it.”

“What's that?”

— “While female pheromones primarily affect men, women are not entirely immune. Places with lots of naked women tend to experience increased rates of bisexuality or even lesbianism.”

“Oh. Well, that's not going to be a problem for us. We're straight.”

— “You might think so, but if you gaze at the spinning spiral for a moment, I think you'll experience an overwhelming urge to kiss each other.”

“Oh uhm... now that you mention it. I do kind of want to kiss. And why shouldn't we? We're in college. That's the time to experiment with our sexuality, right?”

— “That's exactly right, girls! Go ahead and make out with each other. Use plenty of tongue, and don't forget to play with each others breasts. Then afterwards you can go and fetch the rest of your sorority sisters, so they can come and donate their clothes too. If we can get every girl on campus to commit to a nudist lifestyle we can significantly boost men's health. It's science!”