Contracted

"Wait, it doesn't say results pending," Evelyn raised an eyebrow and looked down at the card, "It says 40% Warlock's Contract - Warlocks make pacts with their deities to give them power, and now Evelyn will have the power to make contracts of her own. She'll find her language frequently shifting to offer deals instead of just agreeing to things, and any deal made with Evelyn's voice is 100% binding."

"Ok...that's dangerous," Daniel said, "Like Noah's promise ring, right? Uh..." Daniel tried to say something to Evelyn, but trailed off.

"Pass Perv the die, would you?" Mateo asked.

"Sure, for $5." Evelyn said. Then she gasped, "Wow, I really said that huh. Here." She passed Daniel the die and he gave her a funny look. She shrugged, "Just because I have to say it, doesn't mean I can't do it anyway."

"Ok it's my turn...and I also got BOB..." Daniel picked up his card, "Mine says pending."

Florence reached over and grabbed the die, "Bless this die dear Goddess..." She tossed it, landing on the fill in the blank one. She picked up a card, "Another player's name. Oh heavens..." She looked around, "I do apologize my friends if my choice here impacts you."

"It's fine, just pick me." Evelyn said.

Florence nodded, "Very well, I shall select Evelyn. It says..." Florence's cheeks flushed crimson, "Oh holy Nytheris! I..." She gulped loudly, "I sometimes masturbate to thoughts of Evelyn," She looked over at her friend, "I swear to you it is not the truth! Or rather, it was not." Florence turned away, shocked by her own memories.

Evelyn laughed, "Seriously? That's hilarious. Don't worry Evelyn, rub it out to me all you like. Doesn't bother me one bit."

"Alright, I'll roll then," Noah picked up the die and rolled it, "The object one. Let's see, it says Fetish Machine? That's..." He was surprised as a small box suddenly appeared on his lap. He fumbled it and it fell. Noah realized too late that it had a button on top and the way it was falling...

BZZT!

The box made a buzzing noise as it landed, compressing the button. Then a beam of light shot out and hit each person in the chest. Noah yelped as he was hit, but it didn't hurt. He looked around, 'Uh...is everyone ok?"

"What the hell man?" Evelyn complained.

"Verily I am unharmed, but the Goddess knows what you've done to us!" Florence complained.

"Ya bro. Not cool." Mateo said.

"It was an accident!"

Brittany looked him up and down, "I thought you were supposed to be super masculine now? Guess those muscles are just for show. We won't see you starting for the Argonauts next season."

"The Argowhats?" Noah asked.

Brittany blinked, "Wait...you're a guy, aren't you?"

"Noah isn't from Toronto," Daniel said, "And he does not watch the CFL."

"CFL? Oh. Football? No. I don't watch sports except for the Scotties." Noah explained.

Brittany sighed, "Now it's my turn to be confused," She held up a hand as he opened his mouth, "No. Don't explain."

Brittany reached out and grabbed the die, tossing it onto the table, "It's a rule for me. Let's see, people who are 19 years old or people who own property....wow...that's oddly specific."

"I know we're both 19, but we'll age out soon and won't have to deal with it anymore. If you pick property owners, well, it means we may never own anything. If it's bad that is." Evelyn said.

Brittany rolled her eyes, "I knew that! I was gonna! People who are 19...cannot spend money without explicit verbal permission of someone above the age of 25. Wait, that's so lame! It's MY money."

"Is it?" Mateo laughed.

"Well, fuck you." Brittany didn't really have much of a comeback to that.

"Sure," Mateo winked. Then he grabbed the die and tossed it, "The madlib style one. Ok, here we go..." He picked up the card, "Fetish. Just great..." Mateo knew that fetish machine had done something to them, but he had no idea what, "Um...cross dressing."

Evelyn laughed, "Guess you liked being a girl, huh?"

"Shut up," Mateo said. Then he looked at the card, "It says You accidentally subscribed to an Only fans dedicated to cross dressing."

"Wow. 'Accidently' huh?" Evelyn said, making air quotes.

"It says so right there!" Mateo argued.

Evelyn rolled her eyes, "I'll stop teasing you if you take an X-change pill."

"Huh?" Mateo said.

"Nevermind, I'll roll." Evelyn picked up the die.