Chapter 19

Sorry about the delay between this chapter and the last one. Life got in the way. You'll be happy to know the next two chapters are already written and available on my Patreon, and a third one is underway. You shouldn't have to wait that long to know what happens next!

- Renee

"Don't you make my life hell, Renee. It's messy enough as it is." Oliver said with an uneasy smirk, and my brain just imploded.

I knew the feeling well. I'd just been given a command from my owner. Except this time there wasn't any leeway, no room to consider it, to reject it. For a moment I was left utterly confused. Didn't I order myself never to obey him again?

The sudden incomprehensible thoughts that flooded me gave me a clue as to what was going on. It was weird, feeling my brain compelled to consider options I certainly would never have entertained on my own. I caught myself looking around, wondering if there was something sharp within reach, and if that would count as making his life hell. No. Too messy, literally.

"You okay?" He asked, tilting his head, and I forced a smile. What a fucking idiot! I thought I was protecting myself, but all I had done was basically make myself have to do the opposite of whatever he'd command me to do. He'd told me not to make his life hell, which meant every fiber of me now had to scramble for ways to make his life hell.

I wanted to tell him the truth, to explain the mess I'd made, but the words twisted in my throat before they reached my mouth. My own command had rewritten itself into a leash, and I couldn't even confess to choking on it. Saying anything would give him an opportunity to stop me, and I couldn't do that. I wasn't allowed to do that.

"I'm fine," I said, voice too bright, laugh too thin. I was fucked, he was fucked, and I couldn't even warn him. Meanwhile I was already running calculations, quiet and frantic, on every small cruelty I could inflict without leaving fingerprints.

"Come on," he said, gesturing toward the table where Claudia, that girl from the munch and a blond guy I didn't recognize sat waiting. "Let's get you a seat before dessert shows up."

I was about to follow when alarms went off in my head. Claudia and that other blond woman from the munch would immediately recognize me as their owner, and they would likely say so out loud, in front of him, and that would blow everything wide open before I'd even sat down. Any woman in this restaurant could recognize me the second she looked my way, and there was nothing subtle about a room full of women suddenly calling me Owner over appetizers. That would have been fine had I actually still been on course to be truthful with Oliver, but now, with a compulsion clawing at my spine to ruin him, that would be catastrophic. His ignorance was opportunity. Not to mention, if Oliver accidentally gave me another command, layered and inverted on top of the first, there was no telling what would happen.

"I... I need to go!" I blurted, already backing toward the door, my heart hammering against my ribs like it wanted out too.

I ran out into the street, trying desperately to stop my brain from spiraling into every possible way to wreck his life. I managed to reach my rental car before my hands started shaking too hard to work the key fob, and I just sat there gripping the wheel, breathing, trying to outthink myself. The inverted command felt urgent, hungry, like a held breath demanding release. But surely I couldn't ruin his life properly by rushing into something reckless. Slow was smarter, right?

Finally, a bit of relief. Certainly not a way out, but a way to buy time. My heart slowed, just enough to let me think instead of panic.

I weighed my options, leaning back against the seat, watching a group of pedestrians cross the street without a care in the world, blissfully unaware of the storm rattling around in my skull.

The first conclusion wasn't comforting: I couldn't fight the compulsion, only steer it. The destination wasn't negotiable. I would do my very best to make Oliver's life hell, period. The second conclusion was worse: I had the power to do it well. I had the advantage of knowledge, of ownership over half of humanity, and a mind that had spent the last week learning exactly how far this power could stretch. Oliver had no idea he was sharing his ownership, no idea he'd just armed his own weapon against himself, and his own ownership was severely limited by comparison, hobbled by guilt and rules he'd built for himself. I had no such rules.

This was a disaster. He was my owner, and I was about to declare war on him with his own army. I could feel whatever force had made the world his playground screaming at me to follow two opposite directions at once: don't mess with his property, ruin him.

I started shaking again, both hands white on the wheel, until I forced myself to breathe through it. I couldn't function under these parameters. Something had to give, and it could only be one thing.

I looked at myself in the rearview mirror. I looked like hell. Pale, wild-eyed, a stranger wearing her own face. A broken toy. A broken owner.

"Stop caring about Oliver's well-being and interests," I said aloud, voice cracking.

Oh. That worked better than expected. The frantic scrambling in my chest just stopped. Quiet. No more conflict here.

"Well, that's better," I said, almost laughing. "But why be indifferent when you can enjoy yourself?" I added, a slow grin spreading across my face. "Enjoy ruining his life."

Hmmm that felt good. I straightened up, wiped my face, and started the engine.

The city lights blurred past the windshield as I pulled out, already smiling, already planning.

How does one ruin a man who owns half the world?

Old school torture was messy, inefficient, and honestly beneath me. No, the real fun was architectural. What did Patrick say, about Tantalus? Not pain. Hope. You break a man by dangling everything he wants, then rotting it from the inside. Then? You do it again, and again, and again.

Oh was I going to enjoy this.

Hey there! This was chapter 19 of 4 Billion Toys 2. I'll be posting chapters here regularly, but if you want early access to the next chapters, feel free to support me on Patreon!

In the meantime, I'd be happy to hear your feedback and ideas for where to push the story. I've got the main storylines established already, but I've got more than enough room for suggestions ;)

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