Casually Dating Avengers

"And then I told the court, 'I truly believe the reason that Jonah hates me so much... is because I am black'."

Well, this was going well. Even with the weird twist of pornographic fate he found himself in, having three beautiful girls laughing away at one of his funnier jokes was still a nice ego boost. With good weather, good friends, and good food, he wondered if he may have just found a universe where he had his life together for once.

The big billboard would point to such a fact...

It was a very weird explanation, but it seemed the story of Peter Parker was fairly well known enough that people were recognising him on the street as they walked. And a quick glance to the equally famous Janet Van Dyne made people start to chatter, much to his chagrin.

Right now the four were sitting at a small outside table right in front of the French bistro Peter had booked, after a quick stop for Carol and Jen to get some 'date' clothes from one of Janet's fashion boutiques she owned. A lovely view of the park behind them while the usual New York noise still clattered on around their quiet slice of heaven. Here time just flew, their lunch had already crossed the two-hour mark at this point. Most of it being a back and forth of questions from the respective universe's parties. Peter wanting to know more about his and everyone's lives here, while the girls wanted to know how much sex the other universe had.

The questions about Peter had been cleared up rather quickly thanks to a quick visit to his Wikipedia page, even if he didn't believe the facts. Did people know he was Spider-Man? No. There wasn't anyone who had put the facts together, Peter joking that the thong he wore was apparently all he needed as a disguise (the ladies didn't take it as a joke, openly blushing at the idea). Did Peter still take pictures of Spider-Man? Yes. A weird double combo of being the photographer and the photographee, though apparently being obsessed with a hobby was sort of the norm in this universe for men. Much less effort to go into wanting sex left them open for different pursuits, so much so that on Wikipedia it was listed as Peter's 'guy hobby' with a blue link and everything. Also describing Peter's life as a recluse, a strange man whose face was everywhere yet he never attended any parties or major functions. Just a model, nothing more.

Other questions breezed by. When did he start? Right after the spider bite, in this universe he modelled instead of wrestled. Was he super rich? No, a lot of it went to charity or supporting women centric causes (his doppelgänger said he felt like he was 'taking advantage' which Peter understood.)

Why did he model still? Some various answers he'd given in interviews. Money, fame, wanting to support Peanut Butter in all forms, but the one that stuck out the most was the quote 'It started off as a silly way to make money, but as more women praised me and thanked me I felt this body had a... responsibility. If it made them happy then I wanted to help them in any way I could'. All bog-standard Peter Parkerisms. It was almost funny how cosmically connected he felt to this version of him, as silly as it was to think about.

The main thing he worried about was if the model version of him had made it to his universe. Was he getting to live his best life? Peter got to date three gorgeous heroines at once, brushing up against their hands and watching them blush would be a highlight of his life, but the model probably didn't want any of this. As weird as it was maybe the model liked a peaceful life where he got to just be Spider-Man without ladies ogling him. If another Spider-Verse event happened, Peter would try and talk to him properly about this weirdness.

Peter wasn't the only one getting answers, as the topic had shifted to that of the women's multiversal sex partners.

"Oh? Hank Pym? AND Tony Stark?" bemused Janet with a stroke of her chin, "They're both a bit of a reclusive, but Hank did help me become a hero... and Tony has such a lot of toys to play with, hmhmhm."

"I'll definitely take Rhodey!" Carol smirked proudly, sloshing her coffee around while puffing out her chest, "That guy's absolutely jacked, and we'd probably have a lot to talk about with our military background."

...

"...Juggernaut?"

"Hey! From what I heard he was just a one-night stand, Jen!" Spidey defended her counterpoints choices, "Did you not hear the other names? Wyatt Wingfoot, Hercules, Thor?!"

The lawyer sighed, trying to focus on the negative, but a smile couldn't help but plague her lips, "What about you, Peter? Who does the famous model have wrapped around his finger?"

"Again, not a model." He repeated, "I really am just an average guy with regular ol' spider powers. Sometimes I did take pictures of myself in the suit to sell to the papers though. Though to answer your question, Jen; I won't go kissing and telling to keep certain ladies dignities... though me and someone at this table did have a couple unrequited spider flings."

"Whaaa~?!!"

"W-who is it?! Is it me?!"

"You still have a pelvis, so probably wasn't me."

Peter didn't say anything, keeping a playful ziplocked smirk on his lips, though he wasn't exactly subtle either as he looked over at the group's singular blonde.

"ME?! Yes! Knew it! I have taste in all universes!" Carol pumped her fist into the air.

Placing a hand on her head, Janet looked devastated, "Gahhhh!! Why, me?! You chose Iron Booty over Spider-Abs?!"

"Heh, I went for Juggernaut... of course I'd never be able to swing with Spidey." Jen sighed into her drink.

"Hey, I tried with you a couple times, but you were never into it!"

Her eyes lowered towards him, "Surprisingly, that doesn't make me feel better, Peter... wait, you tried even after the whole... big green monster thing?"

"Duh. No offence, but did you think Jen Walters managed to get her own Thor?"

She blushed, trying to avoid eyecontact with him less the blush change from tomato to forest fast. Not helped by his foot leaning confidently against her own, a single bit of physical attention that she'd been lacking for so long really urging a certain Shulkie to rear her ugly head into Jen's life.

"More importantly, why didn't it work out with you and me?!" Carol butted in, "I must've had a reason for not going all the way with you!"

Janet placed a finger to her chin in thought, "I'm more curious to know why you said you had no one else, surely you had a plethora of women to choose from?"

"I, uh..." How could he explain his love life on a date with three women? That sort of broke the code of what to do when with any new relationship, even before it became multiversal. Talk about his time with Felicia? Reveal failed flings with Betty Brant? Divulge the indignities of Mary Jane and Paul? This topic had gotten away from him fast and now all three of them were looking expectedly.

NEE NAW NEE NAW NEE NAW

Saved by the siren for once. For as much fun as Peter was having, this was a sound he could not overlook. No matter the rewards he may be facing if a police car drives past with sirens blazing... the hero could never enjoy anything knowing he could do something.

"Sorry ladies," He said abruptly, standing from his chair, "I need to use the, uh, bathroom."

As he started to walk away he heard the three begin to argue, "Oh, well done, Carol. You scared him off!"

"ME?! Hey, I apparently already dated him, you probably messed it up somewhere!"

Jen just sighed, "So close, yet so far..."

"Hang on."

They looked up to find that Peter had returned rather quickly for a visit to the toilet, "**** of habit, sneaking away to get changed into my suit, but you're all heroes too so, uh... wanna do a quick team up?"

---

"You said you fried the electrics!"

"Hey! How the hell was I supposed to know about backup generators?! What kinda museum has a backup power source?!"

"Ana told you all to do more research before heist. It does not matter though, in the name of House Kravinoff, Ana will fight off any attackers!"

"Ugh, she's doing that third person thing again..."

"Why did we even rob this place again?! The gift shop only has so much cash!"

Janice Linoln sighed. Hobgoblin was right, her crew really was the pits. Who doesn't even listen during a heist meeting of what they were gonna steal? "Bones, Scorpia. Anything crusty and dusty that could have come from the caveman era." Beetle explained, already snatching a pelt from a mannequin and stuffing it in the swag bag she brought, "Remember? I met that Harkness lady in the bar with no name that said she knew a spell to revert men back to horny cavemen if we grabbed the right stuff?"

"Riiiggghhht, that's this heist. I remember now."

She didn't, Beetle knew as much from the look on Scorpia's face, but this was who she had to work with. At least she could be good in a fight.

"OOF!"

"Yo! I got six orders of a web slinging ass kickin'?"

Right on cue.

"The Man Spider!" Ana hissed, grabbing her spear and aiming it up at the man who had just knocked Lady Octopus on her ass.

Currently the red menace was just squatting those thick legs on a woolly mammoth replica. Janice thanked the fact that it wasn't Spider-Woman that found them at least. Last time that pheromone leaking nuisance had made the six of them unable to leave their hideout for a week. Though fighting someone as hot as Spidey was also a leak inducing nightmare for her dry cleaning bill.

Ana wasn't the only one aiming a weapon, the spider had left himself open to all sides by landing on the central elephant with White Rabbit behind him yelling with her umbrella, "Leave us alone! We're doing this for the good of womankind!"

She leapt at him but the graceful and powerful moves of the man were unmatched for a girl such as Lorina, "I really doubt that, fluffy butt." He said calmly while jumping away AND webbing her hands to the mammoth in one smooth motion.

"G-giving me a cute nickname won't stop the fight! Jerk!"

He made dodging all their attacks look so easy. Electricity, energy blasts, tentacles, he swung through the air like it was a practiced routine. Annoying for most villains, though even Spidey couldn't dodge the Sinister Six forever.

Getting a little too cocky, the man's webline was blasted away by a stray lightning bolt that changed enough momentum for Lady Octopus to catch him. "Ungh!"

"End of the line, Spider!" The ginger tentacle woman proudly sneered.

"Let's fry him!" Electro insisted.

"Ana will slit his tongue for what he did to Ana's father!"

"No!" White Rabbit had freed herself to grab his head and shove it into her expansive cleavage, "Why do you want to kill him?! If the spell works we can totally keep him as a pet! Our own horny spider~"

Scorpia clapped, "Ooh, I like that plan! Here, I'll just put him to sleep real quick..." She said while extending her tail towards the captured hero. Dripping with venom ready to send him right off to slumberland.

"Hmph, fine, you can keep him." Beetle harumphed, very much on board with the plan too but playing it cool for her team, "You were severely outmatched and outnumbered, bug."

"Outnumbered? Technically, yes."

Before the tail could reach him, knuckles cracked behind Scorpia that made everyone's eyes grow wide with fear. Slowly they turned to see a looming green giant flex her muscles

"Outmatched? I'd check again if I were you."

"You interrupted our date!"

---

What proceeded was perhaps the biggest beat down of the Sinister Six's career.

"No fair, Spidey!" Scorpia whined as green bricks lifted by her collar, her tail not even making a dent in the feminine Hulk's skin, "Bringing Avengers backup?! Have you no honour? AGH!" She yelled as she was thrown into the nearby dinosaur skelton.

"Says the Sinister Six," Carol pointed out as she grabbed a fleeing Electro and easily absorbed the electricity. She didn't even flinch as Ana leapt at her spear at the ready... only for the spear to shatter upon impact with the powerful blonde, "Oh honey, it'll take more than what you got to take me down."

"Ana wishes to give up now."

"Scatter! We'll reconnect at the " Beetle yelled, activating her wing pack to try and flee the scene only to find that it was disabled, "What the-?"

A tiny woman flew out of the purple backpack to place hands on her small hips, "You give us bug women a bad name!" Wasp huffed before blasting the Beetle with her blasters.

The octopus fell to another kick from Spidey, White Rabbit surrendered immediately, and just like that the six women were webbed up ready for the cops before Peter could get in his third quip. All nursing headaches and pains while the four stood above them. "And don't go harrassing Spidey anymore, got it?! You all enjoy a long stay at Rykers after this!" Wasp sternly reprimanded them with a wag of her finger.

"Wasn't expecting stopping a heist for the date but that was fun, right?" said Peter, honestly just happy this didn't turn out to be any huger threats that would have ruined this day.

This was most surprising for the Sinister Six, suddenly wrestling against their bonds out of sheer surprise to what he had said, "Wait, you were ACTUALLY dating these girls?! Even tons of green fun over there?!"

"What the hell?!"

"Ana enjoys gossip."

"Are you all blackmailing him or something?! And you call us the bad guys..."

"We're not doing anything of the sort! Right, Spidey?!" Carol insisted, only to see him acting rather weird, "Uh, Spidey?"

You see, in all the excitement, no one had really seemed to notice that the White Rabbit's chest had come free of her brassier. No bra, just a full on flashing of a nice pair of d-cup tits that were being pushed up thanks to the webs wrapped just under her chest. Anytime any of them moved it was an excuse for said chest to jiggle away, and then like his puberty stricken days Peter began to notice all of the women in the room a little too intensely.

He didn't know why his horniness was overloading with each woman he looked at like a domino effect of exponential randiness, but he just kept noticing things about them. Lady Octopus' camel toe, Scorpia's nipples bleeding through her suit, Electro's dynamite curves, Ana's pretty face behind the scowl, and Beetle's almost translucent suit similar to Wasp's. Not to mention said three heroines he came in with and their skin tight super suits, including a thickly strong looking new She-Hulk in all her sexy glory too.

Carol, Jen, and Jan all began circling him, concern most prominent on their faces as the hero refused to elaborate his problems.

All to say they really weren't expecting him to say, "W-wanna go somewhere... private?"

---

"That was rude of them to leave so abruptly," commented Electro as the cops placed power restricting cuffs on her wrists, "I wonder what juicy dirt they have on Spidey for him to be escorting those uggos around?"

"Ana Kravinoff will have their heads! I will hunt them all down for this indignity against my, uh, Ana's name!"

Lady Octopus just sighed from behind her, "You can't even keep the third person thing consistent, girl. Just drop it already..."

"Did anyone notice Spidey was staring at me a lot? What was that about?" said White Rabbit as she got into the back of the police van and sat down with her chest still out.

"I think I found out."

Her crew raised an eyebrow, Scorpia knowing the look on their leader's face, "Oh? A new plan forming, boss?"

"Let's just say they'll regret not disabling all my tech," Janice smirked under her mask as the doors to the van shut behind the Sinister Six, "A tiny drone for snooping around can have so many benefits, ey Spidey?"

---

Sorry for the slightly weird pace to this chapter. Just had a few ideas I wanted to get down. Next one'll have Spidey go down from taking on six women, to three! ;)