Break out of reverie

It's a surreal experience being a girl and using the bathroom. The most significant part is the relief and the ensuing cleanliness. That's the part you remember.

"So, you're angry at him instead, darling?" Bianca asks you in the bathroom during midday, following the story you shared in the morning.

“I'm inundated with Kaya's emotions. But, in reality, I'm just angry at myself," you say, washing your hands after using the bathroom.

“You need to shed that role, dear. Be yourself. Don't let the rest overpower you.” She attempts to comfort you.

"Which one is it? Now, it feels like I'm both. Am I Lasse or am I Kaya? Who am I supposed to be?!” You voice your indignation to Bianca. When you fall silent, she continues.

“The real you isn't the skin covering your face. The authentic you isn't the voice you hear. It's the one who doesn't experience your feelings," she says.

Bianca steps behind you, her hand running down your spine to your nape. You feel the cold touch of her fingertips tracing along your neck and you turn to look at her. She smiles before walking away.

You glance at the bathroom mirror as you prepare for bed. Gently, you reach out and touch the crease at the back of your neck, using the tip of your fingernail to press into the groove. It hurts, but the sensation quickly numbs.

You use your other hand to brush through your hair, pulling it back to expose the slit on your neck. The sensation distracts your thoughts as you trace along the back of your neck and pull away the skin of Kaya's face. You look in the mirror.

You appear worse than you anticipated. Your skin looks pale as though it hasn't been exposed to the sun in a long time, and now it's slick with the fluid from inside Kaya's skin. The reflection in the mirror confuses you, as you see a stranger's face. But, after the cool breeze passes over your face and you catch sight of your own hazel eyes staring back, a realization hits.

"I... I'm here... Yes, this is... me," you mutter, allowing Kaya's face to hang down on your chest as you start to touch your face again.

The sight of your unfamiliar reflection leaves you in a strange, motionless state. The juxtaposition of a female body and a male head in the mirror confounds you. But just as the confusion deepens, Bianca reappears and embraces you from behind.

"Is this truly you, darling," she murmurs, resting her cheek against your back.

"You're you, dear. There's only one of you. The true self is the one you're looking at. Can I ask you something, dear? How do you feel seeing yourself now?” she asks softly, as you wipe your face clean.

"Confused... I feel... confused... and... I can't," you confess, studying your palm, which still looks like Kaya's. Despite the familiar lines, it feels alien. Bianca gently takes your hand and meets your gaze. Her smile is softer than you've ever seen before.

“You're simply torn between the two identities in your mind. That's what you're feeling, dear. But, as I said, there's only one of you. And it's the you who has always been here. You're Lasse, not Kaya or anyone else."

Bianca places a hand on your cheek, turning your face towards her before leaning in for a tender kiss. The confusion in your mind dissipates like a storm calming down. Even with Kaya's memories still in your mind, you don't feel like you're her anymore. You feel embarrassed by your first kiss, while Bianca smiles knowingly.

"Uh... thank you, Bianca... for bringing me back," you thank her, but she dismisses it with a wave of her hand.

"It's not a big deal, dear. You were simply overwhelmed by emotions and hormones. I just helped you regain your equilibrium before you lost yourself in Kaya. It's important to look at yourself without her mask on and not get too attached to her," she explains as you gaze at Kaya's face resting on your chest. Are you afraid that once you wear her face again, you'll lose yourself? As your worry persists, Bianca takes Kaya's discarded mask and carefully positions it back over your face.

"You don't have to worry about anything. If you're afraid, just call me. I'm here to help, dear," she says, adjusting Kaya's hair and holding her face in place. When you open your eyes again, you find yourself looking like Kaya as intended, but the confusion is gone.

You gingerly touch the face that's now a part of you, feeling more like your old self. As Kaya's identity fades in your mind, Bianca steps in front of you and kisses your cheek lightly.

"This is the version of you I prefer," she says, smiling her usual smile. You turn to look at her, the corner of your mouth lifting into a smile.

"Yes, I'm back," you respond in Kaya's voice, feeling content as you speak.

"So, you know what to do next," Bianca asserts.

“Actually, I've been wanting to say this. I think someone is stalking me at school, but I still don't know who it is. This morning, I felt like I was being watched,” you tell Bianca. She ponders silently for a moment.

"Um... I think I know a way to help with that," she eventually says. You turn back to her, intrigued.

"What? How?” You ask, and she interlaces her fingers and smiles shyly.

"But... I have to ask you for a favor... I need to borrow something from you," she replies.

“What do you need to borrow?” you ask. She grins as if she's hesitant to articulate her request and points to your hoodie pocket. You immediately know what she wants. You take the remote from your pocket.

“You want this?” you ask, seeking her confirmation. She nods.

“Yes, dear, I need to use it. I'll have to borrow it and I'll return it this evening.” She holds out her hand, waiting for you to pass the remote. You're curious about her intentions.

"Can you tell me what you plan to do with it? This isn't a request, it's an order," you tell her. She seems slightly taken aback, but quickly recovers her smile.

“Nothing much, I just need to recruit more people to act as my eyes and ears. Well, I have quite a few people in mind," she explains, confirming your suspicion. You're **** to have more subordinates as it draws attention, but the current situation requires more help. You hand her the remote. She accepts it and slips it into her dress pocket.

"Thank you for trusting me, mistress," she thanks you.

“But,” you interject.

"Huh?" she asks, waiting for your response.

"I have a condition. You mustn't press the red button. We can't afford to create too many subordinates like I've said before. We can only allow you to create one. Furthermore, I'm not certain if ordinary people can use this remote, so don't even think about pressing the brown

"Huh?" she asked, waiting to hear more.

"I have a condition. You mustn't press the red button. You can't create a lot of subordinates like I said before. I can only let you create one. One more thing, I'm actually not sure if other people will use this remote, so don't hit the brown button. I heard it could melt the brains of ordinary people. Got it?” you told her. She smiled, nodded, and hugged you.

"Acknowledged, Mistress. Hmm, I'll do my best to help you." You hugged her back. Then, she excused herself, leaving you alone. You followed behind her outside to find Kaya's friend, as planned.