BimboTech: Return to Office

I wasn't allowed to work from home. I was the new guy on the team, fresh out of college. My boss wanted me to be in the office so that I could learn from the team, and pick up skills from other people in the office. Did that mean that he worked in the office? No. Or at least, pretty rarely. Maybe once every three weeks? Definitely never on a Friday. Officially, people were supposed to come into the office regularly as needed, and other teams did, based off what I saw on the elevator to and from the 5th floor. But, I guess, our team realized that there wasn't a set amount of time that they were supposed to be in the office, and so they didn't come in. So, I got to awkwardly ask questions in zoom calls from my own cubicle instead of my apartment.

Okay, it wasn't just me. There was usually at least one or two (out of twenty) in the office. And one of them usually was Luz. Luz didn't like working from home. She didn't like having to act as her own IT support. She didn't like the distractions. She thought working from home was some namby-pamby millenial shit. (I didn't correct her that I was Gen Z)

Because she was in the office so much, I ended up talking to her. Not exactly the type of work-friend I wanted. She wasn't far off from retirement. She just wanted to make a little bit more money to supplement her husband's life insurance payout, and gossip about her co-workers. She had been working alongside these people for twenty-some years, so she cared a lot, even if they didn't come in that often anymore. But she talked about them a lot.

Honestly, I was bored out of my mind. The job was not hard. I had maybe 15 hours of work to fill my 40 hours a week. Which I had to spend in the office. I ended up browsing some sites that I'm pretty sure would make IT give me a talking-to. But I didn't fully go down the rabbit hole at work. I did that at home. I was at home when I found the dark web address for BimboTech.

Honestly, once I bought the Slow-Burn Coffee Creamer, it became kind of a game for me. A lot of days, it was just me and Luz, but not all days, and probably not most days. But when it was just me and Luz, I'd get her a coffee. Luz loved coffee, and she loved the way I made coffee, she decided. She started pouting on days where other people were in the office. "Its just kind of a pain in the butt to make nice coffee for so many people; its better for it to be a nice treat for just the two of us." I had explained -- I had worked in a coffee shop in college, that's how I knew how to make such nice coffee, which as far as she knew, was true.

But slowly and surely, there were days when it was just me and her and the coffee. She started "working from home" if there were too many people in the office. Her workload wasn't much higher than mine, and if she couldn't get her coffee, she didn't care. The days she was here, she was still talking to me. A little less office gossip and lot more about her personal life. She was getting so horny now-a-days, and wasn't it so weird that her hair was getting its color back? She had gone in for a trim, and her stylist, whom she knew for nineteen years, didn't recognize her at all!

I ended up getting her a sex-toy from the BimboTech site, and convincing her to put in her retirement papers with the company. According to my boss's records, she did her last two weeks entirely from home. He hadn't come in that entire time. She didn't actually stop coming in. People thought the new girl in Luz's cubicle must have been Luz's replacement. Sandra thought it was hysterical that new-Luz was using old-Luz's desk!

It wasn't too long after that that Luz got too dumb and too horny to do her old job. Which suited me fine; it didn't sit with me right to have Luz do her old job and not draw a paycheck. She still came in everyday to the office, she just stayed beneath my desk the entire work day.

I have to admit, that once I started getting Sandy coffees when she came in to the office, it started having a knock-on effect, and male attendance on the 5th floor started returning to pre-COVID levels.