BORING!

Buggy charted a course that would lead us south at an angle, so that we would be able to see Cliff Holm as soon as possible. We were lucky: The weather was clear and stayed that way. On the downside clear and stable weather meant a sailing slower than 4 miles per hour and for about 5 hours I had nothing to do other than watching us approaching a stone pillar.

Because that was what Cliff Holm was. A humongous monolith, about one mile in diameter and so high that the top could straight up not be seen.

At first you tried to pass the time fucking, but even with normality removing issues like fatigue or soreness after a few hours you didn't feel like continuing.

Afterwards neither you nor Alvida felt like training and you still hadn't even reached the island. So you did the most boring part of being a successful pirate: strategizing.

Specifically this meant talking serious business with Buggy: “So back when I was working under Alvida, we would typically just attack anything in sight. How did you usually go about things?”

“In the East Blue that's all you need, but this won't fly on the Grand Line.”

“So, you've been on the Grand Line. What would your strategy be?”

“You flashy bastard. You've done it yourself: Step one: Scout out the island. Find out how strong their defenses are and if they even have something worth fighting over.

Step two: Make a plan. Attacking helpless villagers, when they'd give you their treasure without a fight only raises your bounty, but threatening the people of a city with a proper military will just waste the element of surprise.

Step three: Get the treasure. If your plan is flashy enough there is no trouble.

Step four: Book it. You don't want to wait around for the marines to show up.

And most importantly, step five: Find a fence. All the booty is worthless if you can't find someone whose willing to exchange it for food and booze. Make sure to never get on the bad side of those who provide a safe harbor for pirates, or you'll have to rob people to not starve.”

“Yeah, that's about what I thought. The problem I have is with step one. How do we stop people from recognizing us as pirates as soon as we get over the horizon?”

Buggy looked at me, like nothing I had just said made any sense. “What? Why would we even want that?”

I buried my head in my hands. At least I would be occupied for a while.

We were finally anchored at Cliff Holm and I addressed the whole crew for the first time.

“Listen up, boys! I've only recently become your captain and so two very important things did not yet happen: One we need a new name and a new Jolly Roger.”

There were several shouts, some in protest, but most were suggestions. I waited a little before I even tried calming them down.

“I know, I know, but listening to each one of your idea's individually would take forever, so here's what we'll do: I have an idea and you all together can suggest one idea. When we leave this island we'll hold a vote and if you outvote me, I will accept your decision.

For now here is my idea: We'll be the “Ring Pirates”, as in circus ring and for the flag, I was thinking large circle, like an arena and in the ring three figures representing Buggy, Alvida and me.”

I had drawn a rough sketch which Annaisha had quickly turned into something where one could actually tell, what I meant. Figures leaned at each other to form the letter N. I had initially planned to spell “NORMAL” out with “RMAL” being behind the “O” of the ring as the stands, but it would have made the flag to full and Annaisha thought it reckless to literally spell my power out, since being aware of it was a strong defense against it.

“The second thing, that has to be done, is not done as easily as making a new flag: I have to prove myself a good captain. I'll have to lead you successfully to some treasure. To do that I have some orders for you, that you might not like: From now on, we'll travel as a circus. After all, it is normal for anybody who sees us or our ship, to assume, we are just that and not realize we're the Ring Pirates until I want them to. That way we can make some money, even there's a marine admiral anchored right next to us and I can easily scout out where we can get the best loot. This means you'll have to make a program, in case we decide to set up shop on an island. I've decided to put our boatswain Buggy in charge of this, so talk to him about your contribution to the circus program as soon as you have the time. Preparing your routine should help you stave of boredom, until we finally reach our first inhabited island on the Grand Line in about three days.”

While that gave the crew something to do, it meant I was back to being bored. Alvida made sure I wasn’t being overly lazy so in addition to sparring she made me do muscle and endurance training. That made up about four hours of my day and I quickly found myself boring again. This time I decided to ask Annaisha for something to do.

“So … where are we going right now?”

“It's a good course, captain. At times I had Eternal-Poses to the next island stocked. It's a health and wellness resort with lots of wealthy guests.”

“Really? How come it's not constantly attacked? Sounds like a prime target.”

“For us it is, but I guess most other pirates are a bit intimidated, because it's owned by Shichibukai.”

“WHAT? And we're not supposed to be intimidated by that? If we rob this place … “

“Crocodile”

“Crocodile will come down on us!”

“Relax. First: Crocodile is in Alabasta, which is several islands down the line. Second I'm pretty sure he only bought this place for it to be a reward for his top men or as a front to launder money he owes to the World Government. As long as we touch neither, he probably won't care. And last but not least: YOU HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE CROCODILE SUCK YOUR COCK AND LIKE IT!”

“... yeah, I sometimes forget about that.”

“How? No really how? You've surrounded yourself with reminders. Hell, you've turned yourself into a reminder!”

“But me being a woman is”, I stopped myself before saying the magic word, “Look, Alvida still sometimes slips, because she forgot about her slipperiness.”

“Other's doing it is not an excuse. Back on topic: Are we going to rob these rich idiots or what?”

“You know, I think this calls more for theft, than robbery.”

“You're looking to get your dick wet, aren't you?”

“I'm not the only one who's allowed to have fun. Alvida and you can find yourself some pussy, too. Just let me know, if you need something normalized.”

“Aww, you think I need your permission.” She kissed me on the cheek.

“So what is your plan? Have the crew make a show, while you stroll up to the register and empty it into your pocket?”

“I think it would be better if we just stayed as guests, after all there is no reason why we would be asked to pay for anything.”

“Now we're talking. What's your plan to get us the money?”

“I don't really have one. I norm ... usually just wing it.”

“I wouldn't have an issue with that, but please keep in mind, that you'll trip if you say something wrong and you can't change what you've said.”

She tapped the log book.

“Now, you promised a spa-day?”

One statement later me, my crew and all harem girls would not be charged for any health or wellness services they might make use of.

Kyoka Island was warm and bigger than you had expected. The shoreline was littered with hotels, baths and spas, further inland there were more serious looking buildings, likely for the health treatments that Annaisha had mentioned. And in the center was a huge tree, that's crown looked like a parasol. On top of that there were even more buildings.

The crew promised not to get into trouble and promptly started shouting and howling in a way that made you seriously question just how serious that promise was.

“I must say, so far I like your course. First a nice sight and now a leisure day. See you at the pool?”

Alvida was wearing her favorite hat, a white blouse with only the lowest button closed, a vibrant red bikini top and dangerously short white wrap-around skirt with violet polka dots.

“Shouldn't a Devil Fruit user stay away from a pool?”

“At the pool, not in the pool, silly. Though I have no doubt you could make me enjoy being in the pool as well.” The wink was very much not needed, but very much appreciated.

As I enjoyed watching her go I was addressed by someone I was not in the mood for: “I've got to put my foot down.”

“What?” I had hoped that by now Buggy was on my side.

“I'm not complaining about your flashy orders so far, but you can't recruit people, who won't pull their weight on the crew!”

“What are you talking about? I brought in Alvida and Annaisha and you have to agree, that they more than pulled their weight.”

“No Alvida brought you in and you pulled your weight. However when you dragged Annaisha on my … our ship, you didn't know how useful she would be. It's like some kind of higher flashy power wanted you to be right!”

“I recruited her, because it was the easiest way, to get a super valuable book.”

“You don't have to act like this with me, you flashy bastard. I know why you picked her. It's not like I don't have my flashy vices, but you can't take every single one of your lays with you!”

“Don't worry. I wasn't planning to. However I won't pick my girls by how strong they are.”

“I don't expect you to. I fact I talked with our quartermaster and we agree, that if they got flashy enough skills you can bring as many girls as you want.”

“So that's how it is! Anyone in particular you need?”

“I don't need anybody! I'm Buggy the Clown! But everybody who can take part in the circus program is welcome and we could really use a musician.”

“A musician? I could have sworn I've heard music play on the ship...”

“Aye, a few of the men can play an instrument or two, but they're not flashy at all. We can't expose our audience to them, but we can't have a circus without a band.”

“I'll see who I can find”, I chuckled, “Now, did you leave a few guards on the ship? Than go and enjoy yourself. We have almost an entire day, until we can head on.”

As I was pondering, whether I should take the log book with me, I found Annaisha with her head over the map. I got her attention by giving her proper D-cups and she gave a cute yelp.

“What are you still doing in here?”

“Sorry, Tsuki. It's just that I can't shake the feeling, that I forgot something.”

“If you forgot it, it couldn't have been too important.”

She yawned and stretched her arms.

“Yeah, you're probably right. I think I'll go and find you a few new harem girls.”