Avast! A Distracting Side Plot!

These past two days have been annoying, Amelia thought. Granted, every day she had to deal with idiots was annoying, but these past two have been exceptionally so. Firstly, the sack of wilted celery that was her current boyfriend Johnny canceled on going to the fair with her. He said he had to “work” and that his boss wouldn’t let him have it off. Poor fucking excuse, she thought. Normally she wouldn’t lower herself to be seen with such a worthless piece of human garbage as Johnny, but he was just so easy to manipulate and folded to every demand she made. His dad being rich was also a bonus, which made forcing Johnny to have a job fucking stupid in the first place. “Builds character and teaches responsibility” his dad said, what fucking horseshit. All it’s doing is keeping Johnny from his actual responsibility, spoiling her!

Amelia had gone to see Johnny at his job to explain just how thoroughly he had fucked up when she literally collided with the second giant annoyance of her day. An actual giant annoyance in this case. She had to look up a fair bit to lock eyes with the mother fucker. That was already grounds for her to hate his guts, but he had purposefully stepped in her way, so they collided. Probably to try and cop a feel if she had to guess. Men were all the same. Disgusting pigs. He even had the audacity to accuse her of the collision being her fault! She put the pervert in his place. The encounter left her disoriented though and made her forget her purpose for being there. So, she went home. But not before a gross series of events happened.

She couldn’t even explain how it happened. One moment she’s walking along as normal, the next she’s headfirst in a public trashcan and stunned from impacting said can with her head. To make matters worse, some men had decided to strip and fuck her while she was stuck. Ugg! Talk about poor taste. Have they never even heard the term etiquette? Absolute fucking idiots. She did what she could to educate them on their idiotic blunders, truly she was too benevolent for this world, but the morons refused to listen. Some people truly are helpless.

She waited for the line of them to finish because she was nice like that and not at all because she was stuck. Her pussy and asshole were probably going to be sore later though, but it was a small price to pay to keep her dignity intact. That didn’t stop her from continuing to inform the idiots of their own incompetence. She had never actually done anal before, she thought it would have been more painful, but she apparently generated her own lubrication there, so that helped. She briefly thought that wasn’t supposed to happen, but chalked it up to other people being incompetent.

To put the cherry on this annoyance sundae, the one who finally helped her out was the same lanky fucker that ran into her earlier. Amelia didn’t have the time or energy for him, she had already been subject to awful taste, so she simply told him off and went about her day. After she found something to clean herself off with, of course. She had her image to maintain, after all. That lead to its’ own separate debacle. The bathrooms were not properly labeled “Male” and “Female”! That’s her story and she’s sticking to it! The janitor was also fucking useless, leaving the floors slick as ice, someone is going to break their neck one of these days. Thankfully, Amelia only slipped, crashed through a stall door, and onto the dude sitting inside. She wasn’t quite sure how, but his dick also managed to slip inside her pussy. She couldn’t get up until he was done, so she berated his clumsiness in the meantime.

That wasn’t even the last of it! The rest of her day was plagued with similar gross idiots. At one point, a shot of air from a grate in the sidewalk blasted her shirt up and over her face and **** her arms in the air and causing her stumble in the confusion. Before she could orient herself, the hem of her shirt had caught on a signpost of the store she had been walking by. Leaving her blinded and restrained by her own clothing. It wasn’t long before another line of gross men formed to take turns molesting her. Pawing and sucking at her tits, squeezing her ass, and fingering her pussy. A few at the end even decided to fuck her before she finally got free. None of that stopped her from informing the men just how gross their actions were. Amelia swore there wasn’t a single man alive that had any common decency.

The next day had been proving to be just as annoying as the prior! This time a fucking dog had it out for her! Tripping her and making her fall into some mud. That was the biggest insult to her pride yet! Amelia hated mud and dirt. This is why she wasn’t an animal person. She swore she’d wring the little bastards’ neck! Right after the long line of men were finished fucking her from behind. She couldn’t exactly get free until they were done, so she’d have to settle for explaining to them just how incompetent and gross they were. At least they swapped between her asshole and pussy instead of using only one. Sharing the load, as it were. Not that she’d ever let them know that.

After 23 men had been verbally brutalized by Amelia, she finally managed to free herself and get back to her original task. First, clean off the mud and gross man stuff. Image and all that. She had packed a rag in her purse to clean herself up with just in case, which she did so. She wanted to avoid another incompetent janitor incident. Continuing her walk through the park, she finally spotted the friend she had planned to meet up with.

Not as tall as Amelia, she wouldn’t allow a friendship otherwise, but still above the range of being considered short, Sydney had a simple build. Lithe with smooth, pale skin that didn’t see too much sun and a smaller than Amelia sized chest. Another characteristic Amelia required in a friend. The one thing Sydney had more of however, was her luscious locks. Long blonde hair tied up in pigtails but still dangled down to her stomach gave the appearance of a bubbly personality but contrasted harshly with her dark hazel eyes framed in round glasses and seemingly always half lidded. A subtle smirk never far from her lips. Leaving her looking a weird combination of amused and bored at the same time. Despite the conflicting features, they made her face absolutely adorable, but Amelia would never admit that. She was much hotter, after all. Wearing a dark black and red striped A-line dress complete with ruffled bow on the front, Sydney sat on a bench in the shade staring at her phone, chewing on some gum as she waited for Amelia to arrive. Amelia thought the outfit was a bit out of place for such a warm day, and clashed harshly with her blonde hair, but it was something Amelia could make fun of her for at least.

“The fuck are you doing sitting there dressed like that you goth poser.” Amelia chided. Sydney began blowing a bubble with her gum before looking up to Amelia, letting it pop and slowly gathering it back in her mouth before responding.

“Says the bitch who’s forty minutes late. And I like this dress, so fuck you.” Sydney responded.

“Like I’m responsible for the incompetence of idiotic men.” Amelia started.

“Here we go again.” Sydney said, cutting her off before she could get going.

“Oh shut the fuck up and let’s go! We can still catch the next showing.”

“Why couldn’t that poor boy you have wrapped around your finger just drive us to the movies?”

“Because he’s fucking working! Again! It’s fucking stupid. He even cancelled on me for the fair for the same reason! The little shit is going to get it next time I see him.” Amelia whined.

“Speaking of, I won’t be making it either.” Sydney said, blowing another bubble after she finished.

“What the fuck Syd?! You’re going to make me go by myself?!”

“Sorry, my band’s got a gig.”

“Your band has a- are you fucking serious?! You’re choosing your band over me?!”

“It’s a big gig.”

“I can’t even believe you right now.”

“Hey, it’s not like you won’t see me. The gig is at the fair.”

“Wha-What the fuck Syd?! Why didn’t you lead with that?!”

“Cuz seeing you mad is hilarious.”

“You are impossible.

“And you’re a bitch.”

The two continued to bicker back and forth for the rest of their walk to the movie theater. They were very late to the showing they had planned on, a fact Sydney repeatedly reminded Amelia of for the half hour they had to wait until the next. But they didn’t simply mope on a bench until then, the small arcade in the lobby kept their attention until the wait was over. Sydney beat Amelia handily at every game they played. Amelia’s humble and modest defeat could be heard throughout the entire lobby. Once it was time, the pair bought their snacks and headed into the theater.

“We’re sitting near the front.” Amelia declared.

“False.” Sydney stated simply.

“Fuck you. Everyone knows the front is better.” Amelia argued.

“Also false.” Sydney responded simply once more, taking a long sip of her orange soda afterwards.

“Well too bad, we’re-“ Amelia was cut-off from finishing by the person behind her crashing into her back, drink first. The beverage exploded on impact and dumped the entirety of its’ contents all over Amelia’s top. Causing the thin, purposefully worn-out looking cloth to go shear and stick to her like a second skin. Sydney gracefully stepped out of the splash zone before she got hit. Amelia whirled on the man and began screaming,

“WHAT THE FUCK YOU BLIND SACK OF PIG SHIT?!?!”

The man stumbled back a few steps, eyes locked on Amelia’s exposed satin bra, before responding,

“Blind? You’re the one blocking the doorway!”

Amelia was about to lay into the man but was stopped by Sydney stepping between them.

“Our bad dude, seat decision paralysis. You know how it is. We’ll get out of your way.” Sydney said, pulling Amelia off to the side. The soaked girls’ face was red with fury, but she stayed her tongue. The man chuffed in amusement and leered at her bra a moment longer before getting slapped by his date and moving on.

“What the fuck Syd?! That bastard deserves to be castrated!” Amelia spat.

“Maybe. But the movie will start soon and you need to dry off. I’m not missing another showing because of you. I’ll find us some seats.” Sydney said coolly. Amelia snarled like a wild animal before walking back to the bathroom. So consumed by anger was she, that she instinctively turned into the first door she saw, only to repeat her folly of the previous day. The men’s room had a few patrons occupying the urinals, with the stall on the end having an “OUT OF ORDER” sign on it due to some damage to the side wall. Amelia looked to the men at the urinals, and her anger grew even more as she realized her repeated mistake that was in no way, shape, or form her own fault. She quickly turned to exit, only to get smacked hard by the edge of the door slamming into her face, knocking her further into the men’s room. A wedge sandal went flying as her limbs kicked out, desperately trying to regain balance or grab onto something. The men turned to see the commotion, only to witness Amelia stumble like a drunk ragdoll towards them. She would have collided with one of them, had her lost sandal not struck the ceiling before falling directly in her path. She stepped hard onto the wayward footwear with her other sandal, forcing her moment to shift as it slid from under her. Causing her to crash headfirst through the bit of damaged stall wall. Leaving her knocked out and stuck halfway through the wall. Arms stuck fast to her sides, and ass sticking out invitingly. The few occupants stared in bewilderment for a few moments, deciphering the scene that had just unfolded. Before long, they shrugged, and formed a line behind the unlucky girl.

Sydney watched on from near the back of the theater, where the seats were the highest up letting her see the entire room, as the movie played. It was a comedy, her favorite genre. She took a handful of popcorn from the huge tub they bought, currently occupying the seat next to her until Amelia returned. A stray thought crossed Sydney's mind, wondering what was taking her friend so long. A particularly silly slapstick scene unfolded in the movie and her attention was once more drawn back in. Curiosity of Amelia’s whereabouts falling away to amusement.

The employees manning the snack counter looked on in confusion. It wasn’t everyday that a line formed for the men’s bathroom. Let alone a line that snaked out the front door. They had sent one of their own to make sure nothing was wrong, only for him to join to line himself. He gave a thumbs up, so at least it wasn’t anything to worry about.

Farther away still, a phone chimed from a notification.