An unwelcome reception

Gwen looked desperately for an exit, and miraculously she found one, it was a fire exit a few meters down left from the case. Just as she took note of this the happy couple began their big speech, everyone’s eyes averted from the dance floor and fixed their gaze at the newly weds, she even heard the band stop their assembly? Presumably to listen in. This was her chance! Gwen stepped out of the case and was about to sprint when she slipped and fell onto the dance floor, her body had become incredibly sweaty due to the stuffiness of the case. As a result, she slid straight into the centre of the room, straight into the legs of the table that held the cake. The cake then tipped and fell right onto Gwen.

Everyone turned to see what all the commotion was about, everyone gasped at the sight of the naked woman with her back, bottom and hair covered in cake. Gwen looked up and saw all eyes on her, glaring. “Now” she said nervously, trying to summon her much appraised people skills that she was known for “There is a perfectly reasonable explan-“ “Hey! Where’s my cello?!” Gwen turned to look at the fuming Bryn holding the empty cello case. The partygoers began to shout their conclusions “She must’ve stolen it and snuck in!” “Perhaps she came from the stag do!” “No, I reckon she’s a filthy pervert, why else would she be naked?” The attendees all seemed to unanimously agree on that final conclusion, time to get out of her Gwen thought. However, feeling hadn’t returned to her limbs just yet and so she struggled to get up, which gave the partygoers plenty of opportunity to pick her up by her arms and hold her up for everyone to see. “What should we do with her then?” “I think I have a few ideas.” Said the bride. Gwen cringed at whatever was to come.

“Jack, I’ve got some good news.” “What is it Owen?” “The prince and his protector have finally left, his recovery was better than good in fact, he was running with more energy than a member of his species should have at that age.” “Which means that whatever happened to Gwen was...” “Unimaginably humiliating, any news on where she is?” “Tosh is getting something just now, we’ll get back to you.” Jack hung up and went over to Tosh’s desk. “Found anything?” “Oh, I’ve found plenty, here.” A video then played on Tosh’s computer. It featured Gwen, who had been what looks to have been covered into oil, being thrown onto a dance floor by a group of angry partygoers for a game of human skittles. “Oh wow. Anything else happen to her?” “Lots, there’s videos all over this same party featuring Gwen playing the titular donkey of pin the tail on the donkey, being covered in chocolate and having guests use her as a dip for strawberries, dressed up with silly accessories and having photos taken of her with all the guests at the photo shoot, having to serve as a naked waiter and having her hands and ankles tied behind her back and made to hop around town with bunny ears. All of these images being tagged proclaiming that this is the fate of Quote on quote “pervert wedding crashers” “Wow, we need to get her out of there. Any fix on her location?” “Got it right here.”

Jack and Tosh met up outside the pub. “Anything?” Jack asked “Nothing? They said they saw the wedding guests parading her around town and after that she disappeared and they all left. Nothing at the hotel then?” “No, all I found was this.” Jack pulled out the silver disk that the aliens had attached to Gwen, it had burnt out, evidently gaining much more energy than it could handle. “Honestly i think we’ve searched the whole of Swansea for her, we should probably try and ask one of the wedding guests. There are a few back at Cardiff, they’ll tell us where they left her.” “Okay, we’ll go back to Cardiff.” Relented Jack, not liking leaving his friend behind. The two went back into the SUV and drove off, the two were so focused when they entered the motorway that they failed to notice the raven haired naked woman, with arms and legs spread out like a star, ductaped to the large sign above them, squirming indignantly. Her mouth had been gagged by ductape too and next to her, a warning had been spray painted: “Filthy pervert, do not help!” The sign beside her read: “You are now leaving Swansea.”