An unexpected partnership

You sit down to meditate and look for a way through the cave system to get you out of there.

Aurra (teasing you): I thought you were saying we "get going", but all I see is you sitting down for a nap!

Lana (still meditating): I'm trying to find a path through these caves you know... And you aren't making my job any easier...

Aurra (sarcastically): Ooh, sorry master Jedi, does my voice cause any inconvenience for you? My sincerest apologies for not wanting to just stand here and freeze to **** while you are doing your mind games!

Lana: Look, if you won't keep quiet and...! Wait... I sense something...

Aurra (looking around in the semi darkness): Great, because I barely see a thing...

Lana: It's a ship! Down in here!

Aurra: Obviously, that's my ship!

Lana: You have your ship here?! Why didn't you say so?!

Aurra: I thought it was obvious! I had to take it underground to hide it from scanners! What did you think, why haven't you seen in before? I found an other cave entrance in a valley, but couldn't figure my way into the temple itself. Besides, how was I supposed to get the Wampas in here if not by releasing them into the caves directly? Did you think I was transporting them in here 1 by 1 in my hands perhaps?!

Lana: ...You aren't much of a help...

Aurra: Never said I would be. Come on, show us the way, because I didn't have the time to map the whole cave complex so far. We can fly away once we get to it.

Lana (begins walking into the caverns): My thought exactly. Come, I'll show you the way.

Aurra: Why don't you just use your lightsaber to get more light?

Lana: Well... I just happen not to have one on me...

Aurra (laughing): A Jedi without a lightsaber?! That's the craziest thing I have heard in a while! It's like a droid without processor...! A Sarlacc without tentacles...! Alderanian wine without ****...! A Sabacc game without..!

Lana (interrupting): Okay okay, I get it alright?! I messed up and now I don't have one! That's the reason why I'm on Ilum anyway...!

Aurra: So that's why you weren't using one against me or the droids... Interesting. But as luck would have it, I have just lost mine too...!

Lana: By the way, how did you manage to get a lightsaber? I though yours was taken when you were expelled from the order.

Aurra: It was, but I wasn't done with having one! I happened to kill a few Padawans during my career, some of them had a lightsaber, so I had a few unowned ones to keep. Finders keepers! I was coming here for the same reason! Dead Jedi are big money, but their lightsabers are just as pricy in the black market! Have you seen a Hutt Jedi? Well, besides the ones in the Jedi Order of course... Many of them has lightsabers in their private collections as luxurious artefacts. A Hutt has money for anything these days!

Lana: I see...

Aurra (with amusement): Those petty little fellows had it coming for them! They had no idea the end was so near! Should have seen their eyes, when half their group was killed off! I have captured a girl once, had her taken to the Sarlacc pit on Felucia. When the Sarlacc was moving its tentacles towards the girl...! That was fear on a whole new level!

Lana (angrily): Okay, that's enough! I'm not interested in your stories about how you killed and/or tortured my colleagues! Get it?

Aurra (teasing): Whoa, isn't it anger I hear in your words? You aren't supposed to get angry you know! Don't forget the code!

Lana: Actually, I'm a gray Jedi, I'm allowed to use a reasonable amount of the dark side! I can do things the other Jedi aren't allowed, but only as long as I keep the balance.

Aurra (in disbelief): Wait, what? Since when did this become a thing?! Why wasn't I told about this?! Being able to use the **** and allowed to have all the fun the galaxy can offer?! Best deal ever! How do I sign back up?!

Lana: Nah, that's not that easy! There are only a very few who are allowed to do so. We are called the Jedi Special ****, we are sent on special missions, that often require a different kind of approach than most Jedi would do. Ordinary Jedi are busy fighting in the war as generals, while we only work behind the scenes mostly.

Aurra: Hmm... I see... Must be the best job one can get!

Lana: It has its ups and downs. You have a lot less restrictions, that's true. However, some look strangely at us in the temple, believing we are different from most Jedi and consider us heretics. We even have to go through regular testing by the council to prevent us from falling under the control of the darkness, pretty dull occasions, we just sit there for hours and they meditate around us. I fell asleep once and when I wake up, Master Windu was staring at my face with his angry impression, so close, our noses almost touched. I freaked out and screamed in panic! I never want to see his face when I wake up ever again!

Aurra (laughing): That must have been quite the terrible awakening! Tell me, is he still bald as a baby's ass or did he invest in some hair implants finally?

Lana (laughing): Ah, there's more water on the surface of Tatooine than hair on his head!

Aurra (changing her voice to a deeper tone to imitate Yoda while laughing): There is no emotion, there is peace, there is no chaos, there is harmony, there is no shampoo, there is Windu!

Lana (laughing): You know what I have been thinking about? What would Master Ki-Adi-Mundi look like in a hat! Would it be on the top of his long head of would it be so big to reach down to his eyebrows?!

Aurra (laughing): Okay, tell me, is Yoda still trying to go after Yaddle? He was obviously into her back in the day!

Lana: Well... Master Yaddle has been killed a few years ago.

Aurra: I see. If he isn't into ****, I don't believe he's still trying his luck then. Well, the wanna be lover of Yoda is dead. That sucks! Yet, Aayla sucks more, only in terms of cocks!

Lana: Hey, she's a good Jedi, don't insult her!

Aurra: Come on, have you seen how she's dressed? She's the official slut of the order! Not to mention that little vibration she has with Fisto...! Pretty sure they want their tentacles to get entangled!

Lana: Alright, enough Jedi gossiping for the day!

Aurra: You are always the funkiller, aren't you?

Lana (looking at her wrist as a sensor is signalling): Great... My heating cells are about to run out of energy...

Aurra: Don't look at me, I don't have a spare one! I didn't intend to be outside of my ship this long either! Mine will expire soon too...

Lana (looking around): We better get something to make a fire with, or we are going to freeze to **** within hours.

Aurra: Yeah, because there are so many things to set ablaze in an ice cave...

Lana (picking up some lichen from the wall): Here, we could use this! Ranvi, you might have just saved my life without you knowing!

Aurra: Is that the thing your friend brought here?

Lana (collecting more): Yes, they have spread rather quickly in these caves. If we pile up enough, we could make a makeshift fire, by using my jetpack's fuel to give it some extra substance. Would you mind grabbing some too?

Aurra (rolling her eyes as she picks one up): Great, look at me now! Once the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy, now I'm collecting dry plants with a Jedi in a stupid ice cave to survive! What a career!

Lana: You know, complaining won't give you more heat!

Aurra: Quite the mindful insight you have, master Jedi!

Having piled up enough, you open the tank of your jetpack and pour the fuel onto the lichen. With a small spark of **** lightning, you set the pile ablaze, giving you both some well earned warmth. While sitting around the fire, you both share stories from your past to spend the time.

Aurra (some storied later): You said you were allowed to use the dark side... Does this mean you are allowed to get laid too?

Lana (being shy): Well, technically yeees, but that's not a topic I would like to dis...

Aurra (interrupting): So it is true then! How many dicks have you had in there so far?

Lana (embarrassed): I don't want to talk about it!

Aurra: No exact number? I wasn't expecting this from a Jedi, but no problem! About 5? A dozen? 2 dozen? A hundred maybe?! Don't tell me you are still a virgin, because I wouldn't believe that! Nobody's a virgin at around 20, especially not a Jedi girl who's allowed to have sex! Everybody wants to get laid with a Jedi!

Lana (blushing under your helmet): I said leave me be!

Aurra: Oh, feeling ashamed of being yourself, are you? Or maybe you are just into women, that's it? I would understand that too, having something big in your holes is great, but you can get bored of them after a long time. I once had a short affair with Fennec Shand! Oh my, she had quite the tongue work! I mean, I was doing my part too, but girl, she was like a pro, I have never experienced before!

Lana: Oouh, too many details...!

Aurra: Unfortunately, it turned out she was trying to kill me for the price on my head! All of a sudden, she pulled out a small vibroknife from her hair, which looked like a comb. I tossed her aside before she could stab me, she had me a little off guard I'll admit it, but not enough to kill me in my own bed! The lucky slut got away ultimately, she had to jump out of my balcony stark naked from the 2945th floor like a madwoman! She had it all planned though, her speeder was previously parked right under my apartment level, all she had to do was manouvering through the streets of Nar Shadda naked in the middle of the traffic, while I was trying to snipe her down from my balcony! The Hutt authorities had the whole thing recorded, it went live on the Holonet, as it caused quite the traffic jam, since I was still a bit dizzy after the pleasures she had given me, and I accidentally shot down a few other speeders instead! I'll get back on that little bitch when next we meet, I'll cut her tongue out and put it away as a parting gift or something!

Lana: As I said... Waaaay tooo many details...!

Aurra: Ah, a little shy now, aren't we? I bet your pussy was eaten more times than you would dare to admit it!

Lana (too embarrassed to answer): ...

Aurra: By the way, have you ever been with a Duros? You know, the blue skinned, red eyed guys?

Lana: I know the species, but never dated one of their kind...

Aurra: Did you know, that their cum is green? My boyfriend, Cad Bane, is my first Duros to get into bed with, I wasn't expecting to get covered by green sperm when he finished onto my face the first time we met! By the way, that wasn't an official date back then, it was a way to repay him the help in taking down a problematic target of mine. He wasn't going to accept credits for his help, so I had to get on my knees to repay him the favour. Turned out, we got into a relationship since that! I knew he would be a good catch the moment I first met him on Nal Hutta! A handsome guy with a badass aura, outstanding reputation as a hunter...! When I saw his huge dick, I knew he was going to be my type of guy for sure! And I haven't even told you about the time he put it in my ass on Alzoc 2...!

Lana: That's a story I don't. Ever. EVER. Want to hear...!

Aurra (rolling her eyes): As I said, the funkiller... Just wait until you get properly fucked, your perspective on sex will change entirely forever!

Lana (standing up): Okay, enough of this, I'm leaving!

Aurra: Why so frustrated all of a...? Wait, do you sense that too?

Lana (looking around): No, what...? Is it trouble?

Aurra: No... A voice, calling out for me... Calling my name...

Lana (mocking her): I don't hear anything... Maybe your storied went to your head, are you sure it's not one of your exes crying out your name like they could have in your bed?

Aurra (teasing): Sweetheart, if your name will be cried out like mine only a tenth times as much as mine was, you may get to insult me like that but until that... Respect to the more experienced one! And I'm looking into that voice right now!

She walks to a wall with a glowing little red crystal in it. She takes it out and happily slips it into her backpack after examining it.

Aurra: Ah, a new crystal! I'll be able to get a new lightsaber with it! I was just about to think of a new place to hunt padawans for such crystals!

Lana (thinking): Really...?! Even she managed to find a working crystal, but not me?! The **** must be trolling me! Ah... Whatever...

Valare: You shouldn't let her have it! It belongs to you! Take it from her!