An old friend

Plopping down on the bench, you admire your work as a wave of peace passes over you.

Holy fucking shit. Awesome.

“AHEM. A- A-AH-AHEM.” Startled by the alien sound, you jump as if having a seizure. Somehow even more spit falls off your dick (For like the one millionth time: You. Need. A. Shower). The voice pipes back up, emanating from the first stable.

“Bro – alright that was a little bit… whew. Well. We have a lot of bases to cover really quick.”

Peering over the gate, you see a horse staring at you.

Of course.

That fucking horse guy.

“Oh. My. God ….did you watch that entire thing?” You ask, embarrassed.

“Yes. I’m your perverted horse friend bro. Of course I did.” He swishes his tail.

You notice he’s a brown horse with spots this time. He notices that you notice his change of appearance.

“Yeah, I have the ability to take over the closest horse to you. Maybe other animals, I don’t know. Look, don’t worry about it, I’m meant to be a flexible character. I think recently I was a lawyer? This world is better with fewer limits and I’m the only thing here that resembles some sort of reliable friendship for you, not including Tommy in the **** storyline.”

“What?” You have no clue what he’s talking about. Tommy was your friend in your past life but that seems out of place.

“Woops! Wrong timeline! Anyways kid, last time we talked I forgot to mention some really important things.”

“Uh… ok?”

The horse smiles.

“This may be a horse stable, but it doesn’t allow **** because it threatens the rules of the framework the universe is held in, so don’t be tempted to have any of these eternal women here get it on with the horses. Trust me, I’d appreciate it, but apparently you can't.”

You scrunch your eyebrows together as you try to figure out what-the-fuck this imaginary horse is talking about.

“….What if I wish for a horse’s dick instead of my human dick, and then I use my horse dick on the women here while I stay a human?”

The look on Able Master’s face is one of confusion.

“Uhhhhhh. Probably not against the rules, I’m not sure what a horse/human hybrid is, sounds more like fantasy. Dude you can try that, whatever.”

Able Master collects himself.

“The ages of the characters in this universe are all well over the age of 18 both in their body and mind (that one you facefucked on the table was 3 thousand years old). Forgot to explicitly state that before. Ok Thanks.”

“That’s… fucking obvious. I’m a sicko but I’m not a fucking pedophile.” You assert.

“Yeah dude I know, just making sure it stays that way.”

You both sit there in awkward silence. In the background, the two women are cleaning up.

“On another note, I know that you’re having a lot of fun here, but if you want, now would be a good time for you to warp to your hometown and hang out with your bro Tommy, if you so choose.”

He pauses.

“Not in a gay way. Also, I’m not really supportive of **** because I think it’s strange, but you do you man. Noooo kink shaming here. I’m just a horse. NIEGHHHH! I’ll be hanging out a couple blocks down the road with some rich bitch named Tracy who keeps her horses well groomed. Getting her to suck my horse dick - outside of the thread of course.”

Huh. Tracy was always untouchable back in High School. She’d be like 23 now. Kinky.

“Also toss me a fucking sugar cube when you get the chance? You still owe me some hay motherfucker, and keeping me locked in here is fucking slavery.”