Alt. Mike (Unedited)

After Emma dropped that bomb on me, there wasn’t much time to process. In a stealth move by Mom, she had invited Emma to stay for dinner when she met her at the door. She was really reading into things—not that I blamed her. I’d changed a lot since I first met Emma. Considering my sudden change of wardrobe and image, I knew what she was hoping for. Maybe inviting Emma was her way of trying to help out.

The crazy thing was Mom’s instincts weren’t far off. It was true that Emma and I had something special going on—just not anything close to what she was hoping for.

Dinner was surprisingly normal considering her earlier declaration. Dad was cautious—as he normal was around new people. Mom was all-in though, and Emma was sickeningly perfect in how she ingratiated herself with my parents. By the end, even my standoffish dad seemed comfortable with her at the table. It took me a few minutes to push earlier things aside, but I enjoyed myself. Like so many other things, Emma simply slotted herself into the situation as if she belonged there.

“Dude, you okay?” Mike’s voice pulled me back into the present. Lost in thought again. It was a frequent occurrence these days.

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Just have some things on my mind,” I said, shrugging his concern off. He narrowed his eyes at me and I knew he wasn’t going to let it go unless he had something more. “Thinking about the last session.”

“What a clusterfuck.”

“Agreed.”

“Any word on why Emma was a no show?” Hearing him say her name sent a jolt through me as nausea wrapped around my gut. I remembered freaking out about the not-him video and what it did to me. Now it was going to happen. In classic Emma fashion, she wasn’t concerned about it happening or not. In her mind, it was a done deal. No, her concern was me.

I pulled my eyes away from him or my mind would start putting images together. “She said some family stuff came up last minute.”

Mike put a hand against his chest and exhaled. “Good.” I **** myself to look at him and pushed any errant thoughts away. “I’m always afraid Owen or Ben will chase her away.”

No idea how I pulled off a smile, but I managed. “They are pretty bad.”

“Ben isn’t terrible. At least not when Owen isn’t around encouraging things.” He didn’t look all that happy at saying that. “I suppose creepy is better than overt sexual harassment.”

Was she really going to fuck both of them? That she tolerated them at all was more than they deserved with how they behaved around her.

He sighed before running a hand through his hair. “I feel kinda bad about it, but I’m really looking forward to graduation and us all going our separate ways.”

“Ouch.”

“Not us. We have a plan, remember?”

I grinned. “Roommates!”

“Hell yeah! Fresh start somewhere new.” His smile widened. “Maybe we can luck into some girlfriends while we’re there.”

“Okay, let’s not get too crazy.”

He chuckled. “Nah, dude. I think we have a chance. I mean… Look at you. Complete wardrobe change, fresh looks… You know some of the girls in the hall are checking you out when you pass.”

I was shocked. It wasn’t surprising I hadn’t noticed. Beyond my own observation skills, my mind had been elsewhere this past week. “What?”

“Seriously? Yeah man.” He frowned. “Wait… Unless you already have one…”

“Nope.”

Suspicion filled his eyes. “Come to think of it, you and Emma are pretty close. Always hanging out in the library. Doesn’t she stay behind after DnD? What do you two do?”

“First off, we are studying in the library,” I said. Technically, we still did, but most of it was just an excuse to hang out together. Most importantly, it was an excuse for her to give me more of her photos. “Secondly, you are more than welcome to stick around after the session and help us clean up.”

He thought for a moment. “I can if you want.” His thoughtful look shifted to a smile. “Something tells me you want me to leave early though.”

“I’m telling you; we aren’t like that.”

Yet.

The price of her becoming my girlfriend? The virginities of the only people I called friends. There it was again. That feeling in my gut. I didn’t like that I wasn’t sickened by the idea. Not on a level that would leave lasting scars at least. Of everything, I was mostly upset that they would all get a turn with her before me. It was like standing in line for an roller coaster only to have the attendant let the people behind you ride first.

Actually, that was a pretty fucked up way to think about this. Emma and I weren’t dating. Even if she all but said we would in the future, she was still single and could do whatever the hell she wanted. I was the one pushing for it in the first place. If her fucking my friends was a line too far, then that would be that and we could go our separate ways.

Maybe that was her goal. One last attempt for her to keep me at a distance. If I could withstand this, nothing she could do would keep me away.

I can’t believe I was even able to think that way or why I wasn’t running. This was me, even if I was still settling into it. Pretending that there wasn’t some sort of perverse excitement from what Emma was planning didn’t help. Besides, it was that same perverse nature of mine that attracted her in the first place.

“Damn shame. She’s something else.”

“You’re telling me.”

He was silent for a moment, thinking. “Maybe after graduation we can keep things going? Do some summer sessions and stuff.”

“Drop Owen and Ben?”

“Read my mind.” He sighed. “I feel bad about it, but…”

“Ben isn’t all bad.”

“No, but he has gotten worse ever since Emma joined. Bless her heart. I can’t believe she’s lasted this long.” He looked uncomfortable. “Especially after the picture thing.”

“That was her idea.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. No idea why.” He looked at me like I had the answer. I mean, I did, but I wasn’t going to come out and say it. His discomfort grew as he glanced around. No idea why he was so paranoid. We were the only customers in the restaurant. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, but… Um… You know Emma the best. Do you think…” He looked around again. “The uh… rumors about her? Think they are true?”

“What brought this on?”

“I guess it has always sort of been there. Not really something you bring up in normal conversation though,” he said with a nervous chuckle.

A week ago, I would have brushed it off. Today? Today I had that god damn quest hanging over me. Emma had seemed quite adamant that she was going to sleep with all four of them—and Mike was included in that. Him and Trent were actually the ones I was worried about. Emma was probably going to have the hardest time with them, even if she didn’t seem concerned.

Oh god. Was I seriously thinking about this right now? Not just thinking about it, but setting down the groundwork to make it happen?

I picked my words carefully. “Does it matter?”

Mike’s eyes went wide, waggling his head back and forth. “N-no! Of course not. Probably bullshit anyway since even I heard them.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m curious. If the rumors were true, what then?”

“I…uh…um…”

“What I’m asking is, would it change anything?”

He jumped at that question, finally able to give me something resembling an answer. “I don’t know. I suppose it wouldn’t—or I would try to not let it change anything. Emma is a good person and she has helped me a lot.”

I was surprised by that. “How so?”

“Well… You know how I am. Especially around girls. I’m not saying I’m this super suave guy who will go out and have conversations, but it’s been a bit easier to talk to other people since she joined. I was partnered up with Claire in science a few weeks ago and I actually managed to have a halfway decent conversation with her. We even talked about things outside of group work and I wasn’t creepy or said anything stupid.” He shrugged. “I guess Emma helped me see that people are people—even the hot ones. Still terrifies me on some level, but it is a lot more manageable when I remember that.”

“Huh.” I had no idea. I was glad to hear it. My attention had always been so focused on Emma and her interactions with me, I never stopped to consider the effects she was having on the others. Though I wasn’t sure it was all positive now that I was thinking on it. Ben and Owen were negative. Trent… Sigh. Trent was Trent.

Mike sighed heavily. “I feel kinda crappy now. I consider Emma a friend and I hope she does as well. Yet here I am, talking behind her back about stupid rumors—”

“It’s true.” He gave me a befuddled look. “Not all of them and I’m not sure which ones are true or not. I’m not a fan of calling her a slut because of the negative connotations of it, but she does engage in casual sex with various people.”

He gaped at me, stunned into silence. It took him a good five seconds to recover from his shock. “Seriously?” I nodded. “And how do you know this?” he asked with a tone that suggested maybe there was something more to the story. Like me being one of those people involved with her.

“She told me.”

“Just like that?”

“Bit more complicated, but it came up.”

A long silence followed. “Isaac. Have you—”

“No.”

“Right.” Not sure he believed me, but he was willing to move beyond that. “I’m guessing it’s those guys she sits with at lunch? I remember them all being various degrees of good-looking.”

“I think so. Again, I’m not a hundred percent on things,” I said, bending the truth a bit. The silence continued on a bit. “You okay?”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. A bit surprising to hear.”

I shifted in place. I had successfully brought it up, but now that it was out there I wasn’t quite sure how to proceed. I rubbed the back of my neck. Fuck it.

“If you had the opportunity…” He looked at me. “Would you take it?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Sitting back, he thought a bit. “I don’t know, man. She’s hot. Like, ridiculously hot. But she is also a friend—at least I consider her one. It would be awkward if that happened.” He looked down and I knew he was thinking of his size. “Besides, it’ll never happen. I’m not exactly the type of guy girl’s like her go for. I don’t have a boatload of cash to fall back on,” he said with a teasing dig at me.

“Hey now, I’m in the same boat as you. Not like girl’s are throwing themselves at me.” Memories of the bowling alley taunted me as I pushed them aside.

“Yet,” he said with a smile to show he was messing with me. “Money has a wonderful way of lowering standards and you haven’t been using that to your advantage.”

“Because I don’t want that.”

“I know, I know. Messing with you, dude.” He knew how defensive I got when the money issue got brought up. It wasn’t my fault that my parents were better off than most and I did my best to not flaunt it like some other people did. An awkward silence settled over the table. “I kinda feel bad talking about her like we are.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m glad I know. It has been bugging me more than I’d like to admit. And we have my answer to your earlier question. Apparently it doesn’t change much. It might if I wanted to date her or something—”

“You don’t?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Yeah, I had a crush on her before, but who didn’t? More I got to know her though… I like her, but she’s a bit… intense? I don’t know how to explain it. She’s a bit too open and outgoing for me. We live in worlds that move at different speeds.”

Thinking on what he said, I found myself nodding. “That makes sense.” Changes aside, Mike was always a quiet person. He wasn’t as far gone as Trent, but outside of special situations like sessions or hanging out with the group, he was a reserved person. Until recently, I had been right there with him.

I steered the conversation away from Emma and we dug into some Dungeons and Dragon things as I ran some plans of mine through him. He seemed thankful to get into more comfortable territory and I was glad as well. After we parted ways, I found myself thinking back. I had no idea if that helped or not in the grand scheme of Emma’s quest, but it certainly had helped me.

Mike was a good guy. Always had been. His self-confidence issues were what was holding him back, and I was happy to hear Emma was helping with that in a round-about way. I think it was one of the core reasons I got so nauseous when I thought of Emma and Mike together. Before, it had been the actual act itself. Now, I had been far more worried about the mental effects. If he had still been carrying a torch for her, what would sleeping with her do? I remembered how hard it had been when I was in that limbo state with Emma before. The mental and emotional torment I felt was not something I wanted Mike to experience. It seemed like there wasn’t anything deep there other than the normal feelings when you were around someone attractive.

The implication of that didn’t hit me until later when I was alone in my room catching up on the latest manga releases.