AWARDS

"And the award for Most Memorable Surprise Appearance goes to..."

The lights were blinding. The applause, deafening. Susie stumbled out onto the stage, feeling the hard wood on her bare feet. There was a golden glow in the air around her, an indefinable aura of movie magic. As if she'd just run out into the middle of a very special night.

James Franco, who happened to be hosting the Oscars that year, turned and looked her up and down. "Huh," he said. "I guess it's them."

Susie looked out at the crowd, which consisted of every single celebrity in the entire universe, and at the truly remarkable number of television cameras that were capturing the activity on the stage from every possible direction. She looked down at herself, at her small but lovely breasts, her slim hips and pretty pink pussy, and back up at the crowd.

For a long moment she couldn't bring herself to move. Then she screamed, grabbed the envelope from James Franco's hand and used it to shield her pussy as the crowd went wild. Bonnie, beside her, with no envelope to grab, settled for covering herself with her hands as the laughter and applause washed over them both.

From stage right and stage left, security was closing in. Susie had only moments to respond. She settled for running in the only direction she could think of, which was forward into the crowd. With Bonnie only seconds behind her, she sprinted nude across the auditorium, Emma Stone and Anne Hathaway following her jealously with their eyes as she went.

About ten seconds after she disappeared through the rear doors, every single item of women's clothing in the entire room turned into soap bubbles. But that had nothing to do with the carnival, and was just a weird coincidence.