ALICE Ch 276

Glynda places a rather substantial cardboard box on Alice’s bed.

“What is it?” Alice asks.

“Salogal,” Glynda replies shortly. Neither of them has had time to settle in; they’ve barely arrived in Belgium. Cars. Journalists. Hotels. Alice feels like she’s watching herself in a movie.

Glynda slits the box open and reveals clothing with FUTA and Salogal branding.

Alice sighs, remembering things like shopping at Target. Things used to be so simple. “This is nice, I guess. I mean, it’s normal.” These are actual clothes, not slutty costumes. They aren’t so different from Alice’s normal style, which skews a bit masculine. She’s tall, gay, and has short hair, so it works. Maybe that’s why Salogal came to her in the first place.

Glynda shoves one of the packets into Alice’s arms. “Try it on,” she orders.

“Why?”

“We need the measurements to be right.”

“These are bespoke?”

“Course they are. Have to be flattering, don’t they?”

“Kinda bougie, but I guess it’s better than pretending to look like I want to suck off Patty Dunham.” Alice yawns and carries the packet into the bathroom, where she dutifully dons the leggings and moisture-wicking top. She emerges a minute later and confronts Glynda. “Did no one think to tell these people that you have to have a butt in order for your fake-ass-scammy-male-gazey-butt-lifting leggings to lift?”

Glynda peers at her. “What?”

“I have a flat ass, Glynda. It’s funny.”

“It’s fine.” Glynda looks her up and down. “You look smart.”

“I look…” Alice frowns at herself in the mirror. “I look like a Peloton instructor with an eating disorder and a cock.”

“You’re like Shakespeare, Alice.”

“He probably had a butt.” Alice examines herself critically. “Whatever. Let’s see you in these.”

“Forget it.”

“Why not? You got it, Glynda.” Alice looks over her shoulder at her. “Though I’ve been meaning to ask, how come Faye got your booty but not your boobs?”

“Alice, I will happily strangle you and then tell my daughter that you died doing auto-erotic asphyxiation.”

Alice guffaws. “That would be such a cool plan if everyone didn’t know that it’s Faye who’s into the weird kinky masturbation shit and not me. She’s the one who’d be getting all chokey and jerking it. Kind of surprised she’s never asked me to **** her, actually.”

Glynda points a warning finger, but can’t bring herself to speak.

“It’s good.” Alice shrugs. “That she’s so in touch with her own self or whatever. Anyway, this stuff is cool. This is way more chill than Diorgasm.” She sits on the bed beside the box. “If these guys want to take pics of me in this stuff or whatever, that works. I think I can do a good job. The Diorgasm stuff was way harder. This probably won’t be as popular on socials though.”

“It’s fine, Alice.”

“Yeah? Then why do you look so worried?”