A singer-obsessed gooner at the Cunny awards

Jacob blinked once, then twice, before clutching his head and groaning.

There was something wrong with him for sure. He'd never had such a huge headache in his life, even a whole night of drinking never left him this smashed.

He looked around to find anything out of the ordinary to explain his state of disarray but couldn't find anything off. Everything looked absolutely, utterly normal.

"And now presenting, Ariana Grande as the full nelson queen of last year!"

What

He whipped his head around to look at the tv screen and saw Ariana Grande walking across the red carpet at the grammy awards. Or, at least that's what Jacob thought it was.

Ariana stood there in nothing but a leotard with holes cut out for her nipples and nipple piercings with ornaments. One of them was a flashy golden 9, the other a silver 0. Her pussy was almost fully visible as she blew a kiss towards the camera as everyone cheered.

The interviewer pressed the mic against Ariana's lips. It was a dildo shaped mic, which she gave a long lick as if it was completely natural.

"So Ariana, how do you feel after being nominated for Top Cunny after your last work, 90 BBC gangbang small grande chick until she throws up and looks pregnant?"

Ariana smiled before sticking her tongue out and swirling it over the camera lens like she was giving a blowjob.

"Obviously fantastic! I'm glad everyone can see my craft and that my now gaping asshole has given me a chance to win this prestigious award!"

"Oh my god"