A man who never got laid

“So you’re telling me I can have anything I want? Like anything?” John says.

“Yep, just ask and it’s yours. Only condition is that it controls people.”

John thought about this for a second. He had so many questions running through his mind. Where was he? “You died.” Oh… What was this thing talking to him? “I’m whatever you want me to be. A god, the **** of life, lady luck, or whatever.” Huh, it felt weird having his thoughts answered and not even having to speaking. “Yep! I created you, so of course I know what you’re thinking.” This was really weirding John out.

“So I ask for anything and then what? I respawn in another world? Go back into my old life?” John didn’t quite know why he said it out loud if this thing could read his mind.

“You’ll go wherever you want to go. Show you liked, favorite comic book, or movie? Or go right back to your old life with your new gift. Which, by the way, you still need to decide what you want. And we don’t got all day! Well… that’s a lie. Time doesn’t pass here, but I don’t want to wait forever. So pick something!”