A documentary on her naked exploits

"44-year old Candace," the documentary originally wanted to change Candace's name before she insisted that she was (in)famous enough already to let it in, "lives in the Black Bay neighborhood of Boston and is locally renowned for her nudity. Although she claims she isn't a nudist, she admits that she hasn't worn clothes in over 20 years."

"Why haven't you worn clothes?" the camera cuts to a censored frame of the nude Candace receiving an interview from an off-screen (but, as Candace was painfully aware, fully clothed) interviewer.

"Well," Candace had rehearsed this explanation in her head for the months leading up to this, "I just had really bad luck during my college years. Eventually my wardrobe just all whittled away and I figured it wasn't worth replacing it."

"Candace isn't lying," the narrator cuts back in to a Ken Burns-style montage of Candace's nude photographs (all tastefully censored, of course) through the years, explaining the viewer all of the stories Candace regretfully related to the production team, like the time Candace lost all her clothes on a plane and had to spend all winter break naked, or the time she was a nude art model and ended up streaking the whole campus, or the last time she remembered wearing any clothes.

"So why haven't you just become a nudist?" the interview returns.

Candace shrugs. "I guess I've never really bothered - and 'nudist' has certain connotations. I figured sooner or later this spell has got to end."

"We've teamed up," the narrator continues as the camera pans to Candace placing her Amazon order for a normal outfit, "to see if today is the day Candace finally gets some clothing relief. Though this might be an everyday occurrence for most women on the fashion-focused East Coast," the narrator admonishes the viewer, "for Candace, this is the first time in decades that she'll have the opportunity to wear clothes."