A complaint from his next-door neighbor.

Luckily Erica’s arms didn’t have a ****-grip that prevented him from leaving his bed, nor her legs. Standing on shaky legs, he could finally see the aftermath of their all-night fuck session. His sheets were white, there was no possible doubt about that now. They had been a special print of Star Wars sheets gotten back when the franchise had gotten started, something of a family heirloom, but they were white now.

Leonard sighed, thinking “I’m gonna hate explaining that to Mom…” seeing as they had been a moving-out present from her. He supposed there was no helping it now, so the man stepped into the kitchen, noticing three pots still on the stove. “Oh, right. The Cauldrons.” he muttered. The broth within seemed to have paradoxically gotten thicker overnight, despite having an equal amount of liquid compared to what he remembered.

Looking down, he finally remembered that he hadn’t yet gotten dressed. “Imagine that, me forgetting to put on clothes after a night sleeping with a beautiful woman…” he mentally chuckled. A minute later, and he was wearing boxers and a T-Shirt.

He’d dress up more, but it was now the weekend. That was why he and Erica chose to stay out so late visiting his parents when they tested the Pots of Greed. Nonetheless, the apparent stud supposed some coffee was in order for him and his roommate. Though, the stove was certainly occupied by the multiple different cauldrons of magical potions. Not much room for a teakettle.

Beeps rang out as two mugs of cold water spun around in a glowing box that made their contents get progressively hotter. “Should I wake her…? Nah, Erica needs her sleep too.” he decided.

Suddenly, his door shook with the **** of sudden knocks. Leonard’s blood froze. “Fuck, the neighbors…!” he muttered, scrambling for a pair of sweatpants.

A minute or so later, he opened the front door, nervously grinning as the scowl of his neighbor beared down onto him.

This was Jerry Schmidt, his neighbor to the left as you exited the apartment. He was a bit older than Leonard, black hairline both receding and graying, with an ex-wife who had kicked him out of the house. The now-bachelor had slept with his younger secretary, so the courts didn’t see a good reason to leave him with much beyond a car.

“Look, I don’t care what you do with your free time. Not really. But you have to keep your headphones plugged in if you’re gonna waste your Fridays jackin’ it to your fuckin’ porn animes…! I’m not into that shit! I’m in enough hot water with Sheryl, she just agreed to let Hannah visit every other weekend, and I won’t have her telling my ex-wife I live next to a goddamn pervert! Are we clear!?”

Leonard shrank at the older man’s outburst, nodding vigorously as he stammered “C-C-Crystal…! Y-You got it!” before giving him a thumbs-up.

This seemed to appease him, as he sighed “Good, cause I really can’t mess this up. Like, that’s my little girl, you know? If she starts thinking I’m a piece of shit, I dunno if I could even get outta bed in the morning.”

Leonard coughed, silently wondering how long this man was going to keep talking to him. He said “Y-Yeah, that sounds… terrible… L-Look, I gotta make breakfast. My roommate’s gonna be up any minute, and—“

Jerry walked into the apartment, pulling out a smartphone as he sat immediately sat on the couch, saying “Oh, breakfast? I gotta get something in me too, hold on. I’m gonna order us some Mickey D’s, maybe you can introduce me to your…” before his jaw dropped. Moments later, his phone fell from his hands.

Erica asked “Good morning Lenny, who’s your friend?” as she walked in, still completely nude.

“Uh… Erica? Are you… feeling okay…?” Leonard asked as he shut and locked the door.

She nodded, saying “Absolutely, thanks to you. I feel much better after our ‘Mana Transfer’ session, ‘Master’.” with a giggle as she spooned some instant coffee into a freshly microwaved mug of water.

Jerry could barely speak. “Wha… buh… duh…” he muttered. The semi-overweight man then shook his head, trying to right himself before grabbing Leonard’s collar and whispering “How the fuck did you finesse that…!” as he pointed at Erica’s dynamite body.

“I… actually don’t want to tell you. She’s my roommate and my friend, anything aside from that is none of your business.” Leonard said, coming to a sudden realization. He smiled, asking “Could you make me a cup too, Erica? Just spoon in the coffee mix, I’ll add the creamer once I finish things with my neighbor.”

She gave him a thumbs-up as Jerry fumed. “But you—I jus—Wait a sec. What’s bubblin’ on the stove?” he asked, now remarkably calmer.

Lenny forgot about the Cauldrons. “Uh… stuff…?”

Jerry grinned. “You’re drugging her! Fuck, wait till the police hear about this! I knew you couldn’t get a girl to sleep with you!” he shouted, as the extremely jealous man scrambled for his dropped phone.

In a moment, a card was placed in Leonard’s hand as Erica whispered in his ear “Use it.”