“Snatch Steal”

Leonard hadn’t had much reason to not trust his friend’s words since their new relationship started, so he willed the card in his hands to affect Jerry’s crawling form.

Immediately the buffoonish tenant froze up, before becoming immobile and rolling onto his back. He looked up at Leonard with fearful eyes.

Turning the card around, Lenny saw an image of one man quickly grabbing another man’s belongings and running. The magic he had used was “Snatch Steal”.

“Okay, uh… so I control him now…?” Leonard asked, and Erica shrugged.

She sighed “I dunno. Just didn’t want him to arrest you.” and dashed back to the kitchen area. “How much did you want?” she yelled.

“Huh?”

“Of hot chocolate? Remember?” his friend continued, raising her eyebrow.

“Uh, whatever. I gotta deal with this.” Lenny told her, before looking down at his neighbor’s seemingly paralyzed form. “Can you… move? Blink once for yes, twice for no.”

Blink.

“Okay, cool. Do you… feel any different? Like, emotionally, mentally?”

Blink. Blink.

“Wow, so yes to both…”

Blink blink, blink blink.

“R-Right, sorry… uh, please get up, then sit on the couch?” Leonard asked.

To his own face’s amazement, Jerry’s body did exactly as commanded. He started mouthing something as his eyes widened further.

Lenny’s eyes widened in recognition, and he told him “Oh, you can speak now, just don’t be too loud. You know, it’ll bother the neighbors.”

“Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, I have a… a daughter, I don’t have a wife anymore, already fucked that up like I fuck everything up, but please don’t kill me…!” the man sobbed, tears and snot dripping from his available facial orifices.

Leonard ran for some tissues, wiping down his neighbor’s face as he tried to assure him. “I-I’m not gonna kill you, I just wanted you to… settle down. Look, I was being a little… unpleasant earlier, but the whole story’s kinda hard to believe. Just… promise me you won’t tell anyone else. And don’t lie to me.”

Jerry’s face tightened into a determined mask of resolution. “I won’t tell anyone else, I promise. Actually I’m gonna run to the nearest police station if you let me go and report you for a ton of crimes that I think you did.” His eyes widened. “Fuck! Why’d I say that!?”

Lenny sighed “Okay, then I order you to not tell anyone else about what I’m going to tell you. I’ll also let you move like normal after I’m done, scout’s honor.”

“… okay.”

“… so, to sum it all up, you got a magic power to turn a buncha shit into gold if you got enough shit?” Jerry asked, before biting into an English muffin with sausage, egg, and cheese inside of it

Leonard nodded, continuing “B-Basically, yeah. But it’s gotta be numbers on a screen, like resources in a game. Or, I guess, money in the bank if I wanna be direct about it.”

Erica sighed “I’m just glad none of us is going to prison. I would not survive, let me tell you.” as she sipped her mug of coffee. She also had on a T-Shirt saying “Kiss me, I’m Irish” and nothing else.

Leonard blinked. “… Erica, remember when I said to get dressed?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Where are your pants?”

“But what if I gotta get Mana from you? The lower mouth works better, I know that much from last night.”

Jerry whispered “Dude, did you bang a crazy chick? I hope you used protection, cause even that’s not worth your windshield getting keyed after a late night at the office doing… work.” while gesturing to Erica’s still stunning physique.

Leonard’s eyes narrowed. “Crazy… Berserker… Raikou… Madness Enhancement…!”

He shouted “Erica, I think your Class is negatively affecting your brain! Berserkers are insane, like literally! Cause I summoned you as Raikou, I think you have her Class!”

Erica’s head cocked to the side. “I think you’re… right. I felt different since you fed me that cum in my cereal.”

Jerry whispered “Wait, you fed her your cum? Holy shit, I do live next to a pervert…!”

“Jerry, shut up! Erica, I’m gonna try something in the kitchen, come on.”

The two made their way to the stovetop, Erica equipping herself with some sweatpants, before Jerry made a cup of the different Cauldrons’ contents. “They’re stronger mixtures than last night, so it should heal for more. Drink that, and tell me how you feel.” he said, handing her a green, slightly glowing drink.

She nodded, downing the whole thing, until her eyes widened.

“Well? Do you feel more… sane?”