A Job Offer he Can't Refuse

Joey was home alone the next day, relieved the retraction he'd written had been printed and, judging by his trip to the bagel place that morning, worked exactly as intended.

The doorbell rang unexpectedly. Joey wasn't sure who it was likely to be. Kayleigh never showed up without calling or texting ahead first, while Liv was out of town for the afternoon. He couldn't think of any deliveries that were due, and when he opened his door it clearly wasn't Amazon on his step.

Two people in suits and shades were looking at him purposefully, a van with shaded windows visible on his drive behind them. This felt like getting a visit from the Men in Black - except one of them was among the most beautiful women Joey had ever seen in real life.

"Joey Jones?"

The woman spoke in a friendly enough tone, while the guy standing next to her seemed to be sizing Joey up to determine whether or not he could be any kind of threat.

"Yeah?"

"I'm Agent Carver, and this is my good friend Agent Holt. I should warn you, he is equipped"

The agent on the left, who looked like he would have no trouble taking Joey out without the aid of a weapon, briefly held his jacket open to reveal what he was holding.

"It's only a stun gun" Carver explained "But those things can really sting, trust me"

"What the fuck is this?"

"This conversation is being recorded, and everything you say will be relayed to one of my colleagues via a third party app. If you try to lie to us or play with our minds, it won't go well for you"

"This is crazy!"

Carver held up both that day and the previous morning's front pages.

"Can you explain to me why when I read this article" Carver did so quickly before looking lustfully at Joey and stroking her hair "I feel an almost overpowering urge to fuck your brains out"

Now Joey looked like he had a gun in his pocket too.

"Yet when I read this retraction printed this morning" Carver read as she spoke once more, before looking back at Joey and shrugging indifferently "Not so much"

"The power of the press?"

"Try again"

"Okay, so I have this weird fucking ability to make people believe things. It's not like I ever wanted it"

"And how did you come upon this weird fucking ability of yours?"

"A vat of gunk exploded all over me. I was trying to take a photo of it for the paper I work for"

Carver looked at Holt, who paused for a moment then nodded, allowing his partner to continue.

"This gunk, is there any of it left?"

"No, it all spilled out everywhere, then quickly turned into a congealed mess"

"Great" Carver sighed "Then it looks like we're stuck with you"

"Stuck with me?"

"You're now an extremely valuable, one-of-a-kind asset" Carver spoke with her usual half smile, which was somehow both endeaing and terrifying at the same time "We need your help, and you will give it to us. But don't worry, you won't be put in any danger, and we pay extremely well"

"Who are you? The FBI?"

"We're the good guys, that's all you need to know" Carver informed him. For someone so violently opposed to being deceived, she was fairly economical with the truth herself "You will be helping us make this world a better place. Also, you're a journalist, right? That's actually pretty useful for letting us get the right information out there"

"Yeah, as far as Danbury goes, I guess"

"And way beyond. You now work for the Washington Post"

"What? You can do that?"

"I can do a lot of things, Joey. You'd be amazed"

"Fuck, this is crazy" the journalist's mind was running at a million miles an hour "Kayleigh would have to come with me"

"You're referring to your friend and colleague Kayleigh Preston?"

"Yes" Joey tried not to sound too spooked that she knew that "It's always been her dream to work for the Post, and I'm not going to Washington alone"

"Fine. To show you what a nice person I am, your friend now works at the Post with you" Carver smiled "But you wouldn't be alone in DC. I'll be there too. In fact, you and I are going to be spending an awful lot of time together from now on"

Joey needed a moment to think on that. Did spending a lot of time with a super sexy, but potentially lethal, secret agent girl feel like a good or bad thing?

"You'll also be bringing your girlfriend with you. She's actually a very useful person for us to have influence over"

"Liv is? Really?" Joey asked in surprise.

"Sure, and she should be used to Washington"

Joey looked at Carver blankly.

"Your girlfriend is Olivia Adams?"

"Yeah"

"Okay, you are aware you're dating the Senator's daughter, right?"

Joey's face was one of pure shock, which caused Carver to giggle, surprisingly cutely.

"Apparently not. Okay, I'll leave you to break the good news to your buddy and your girl. We fly to DC first thing tomorrow"

Joey wasn't quite sure what to say.

"There's no need to look so nervous. most of the time I'm the sweetest girl you could ever hope to meet" Carver told her new acquaintance with a smile as she turned to leave "Just don't ever fucking lie to me!"