A Gaseous Cloud Knocking Emi Up Would Be A Neat Trick

Emi paused, the beer can halfway to her lips, a frown creasing her brow. She lowered it slowly, the logic catching up with her in the quiet of her apartment. "Wait a minute," she said, her voice sharp with the dawning realization of a flaw in the grand narrative. "You're getting ahead of yourself. You told me yourself, just a little while ago, that you can't impregnate me. You literally spelled it out. No sperm, gaseous, not human... ring a bell?"

The pink cloud pulsed; a slow, deliberate rhythm of what Emi now recognized as profound, almost cosmic condescension. 'And you were listening,' Verdant Green projected, 'I'm so proud. But you're thinking in linear, mortal terms. You're thinking of what I am, not what I will be.'

'Right now, yes, I am but a mere Level 1 Familiar,' it continued, its pink form puffing up with self-importance. 'A wisp. A fart. A pretty little bauble with a smart mouth and a not-so-hidden agenda. But I am intrinsically linked to you, mistress. Your power is my power. Your level is linked to my level. I’m a little behind now for the time being of course but every delicious, manipulative, wonderfully wicked trick you pull, every person you cause to be bred in the most gloriously twisted way imaginable is experience points for you and a promotion for me.'

The cloud drifted closer, its core glowing with a hungry, ambitious light. 'So yes, right now, I couldn't knock you up if I tried. But you keep climbing the ladder, keep becoming the magnificent, chaotic bitch you were born to be, and I'll grow right alongside you. I'll get stronger, more solid, more... capable. New abilities, new forms... new... equipment,'

The last word, "equipment," hung in the air of Emi's living room, a sly, knowing wink in a sentence of pure ambition. And as Verdant Green projected it, the cloud pulsed, the soft rose hue deepening to a lustful, throbbing magenta. The amorphous wisp began to lose its fuzzy edges, the gaseous particles coalescing, drawing together with a strange, magnetic purpose. It didn't grow a body or limbs, but instead extended from its main mass a single, distinct protrusion.

It was a perfect, shimmering, ethereal phallus, sculpted from pure pink energy, its form solid and undeniably real in the lamplight. It was translucent, and within its core, Emi could see a roiling, chaotic energy, the raw, untamed potential of her Familiar given a sudden, shockingly physical form.

The spectral phallus held its form for a heartbeat, a shimmering, impossible monument to Verdant Green's potential, and then it dissolved. It didn't shatter or fade, but simply retracted, its substance flowing back into the main body of the cloud, which settled back into its normal, placid, spherical shape. The vibrant magenta softened to its usual rose hue, the aura of raw lustful intent receding until it was just a pink puffball hovering innocently in her living room, though it seemed to vibrate with a deep, satisfied hum.

'With the right upgrades, of course,' the entity's telepathic voice added with a lecherous little squeak. 'And maybe a few... optional attachments. So the question isn't if I can breed you, mistress. The question is, how long do you think you can stay one step ahead of me before I catch up?'