A Dildo

It was the biggest dildo he’d ever seen. Well, that wasn’t really phrased right. He’d never seen a dildo until today after all. It would be more correct to say this was the biggest phallic object he had ever seen.

It was a deep black, darker than an Uchiha’s hair, with bulging, fake veins protruding from the shaft, ending in a large mushroom tip. Pulling it from the bag, it was hefty, and he couldn’t even fit his hand all the way around it completely, and was near the length of his forearm from the base to tip. And speaking of the base, a pair of almost orange sized balls rested above a suction cup that was likely for placing on a wall.

It was an imposing toy, and he held it in a way someone might hold a rabid cat- at arm's length.

Suddenly, the door opened and all he could do was turn around, facial expression similar to a person caught in the middle of a kunai storm as Tenten stepped out and almost instantly froze when she saw her recently purchased item in his hands. She did not stay that way for long though, as soon she turned a brilliant shade of red, though whether that was from embarrassment or anger, he couldn’t tell you.

“Na-ru-to!”

Okay so it was anger. Solved that pretty quickly.

In a near apoplectic rage, she stomped her way over to him and ripped the adult toy from his hand, causing it to comically waggle around from the **** of her action. “What in the HELL did you think you were doing?!” Naruto squirmed under her stare, unsure what to even say because, truth be told, he wasn’t sure what he had been doing either. He supposed he just wanted a closer look at it cause he’d never seen one before in his life and was curious.

“Why did you buy something like that?”

Obviously that wasn’t what came out of his mouth, though.

Now it was her turn to look to be speechless. “Wh-What?” She was tongue tied, and in an **** action, she pulled the phallic object close to her chest. Who even asked that kind of question to someone?! It was rude, crude, and, and, so Naruto-like she couldn’t even be surprised. Sighing in exasperation, she used slapped a hand to her face and dragged it down in the hopes of waking her from this stupid dream, but nope. It was real.

Joy.

“It’s a dildo, Naruto. I use it to pleasure myself.” Blunt, and to the point. Being blunt was the only way to get anything through Naruto’s thick skull. Naruto's gaze looked at her critically, almost suspicious, and she released a tired breath. “What?”

“That’s pretty big, isn’t it?” Tenten stared at him blankly. “Okay, stupid question. Guess I should put it another way- doesn’t that hurt when you’d… You know?” Okay, reasonable question, if another one he REALLY shouldn’t be asking, but she was this far down the rabbit hole anyway, so fuck it, why not?

“At first, maybe. But the more a girl, ahem, uses things like these, the easier it gets, and the more she gets used to the size. It stretches them out more and more until eventually their, er, special areas don’t close all the way like it used to, not without help, anyway. And I really like, uuuuuh- oh fuck it, I’m tired of censoring myself. I really like pounding myself with huge dildos, and do it often enough that I’d have to go out and find a new, better replacement, which just so happened to be today. Happy?”

Naruto’s eyes couldn’t have been wider and his mouth any closer to the floor.

“So you… Do it, a lot?” Her face turned a crimson color as she growled and whacked him upside the head.

“Idiot! You don’t say that to a girl!” She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest. “But… Yes. I do it. A lot. But not the actual thing!” She quickly made that fact clear. “I’m still a v-v-virgin, when it comes to actually being with a person. I just like masterbating, is all.” All was quiet for a minute straight, and Tenten could see the hamster wheel inside the blondes head working overtime, so she groaned and asked him what he wanted to know.

“Could you… Tell me if mine’s adequate?”

Huminawhazat?

“You’re gonna have to be clearer than that, Naruto.” He squirmed in place for a few seconds before he seemingly gathered his resolve and took a deep breath.

“Well, you said that eventually girls get used to your size, and that if it was too big that it wouldn’t fit right, so I wanted to know if you’d look at my, you know, and tell me if I’ll have any problems in the future. With it, I mean.” The brunette woman looked as if unicorns had started raining from the sky. Did this boy- no, this MAN ask her if he’d look at his penis and tell her if he had the equipment to see if he’d hurt a girl if he tried to fuck her without proper preparation?

Haaaaaaaaa. “Sure. Why not, today has already been weird, might as well pile it on more. Drop your towel, and let me see what we’re working with here.” With an excitable nod that only Naruto could pull off while still being as old as he was, he untied the only layer of cloth he had on at the moment, letting it fall to the floor while he stood there nervously, waiting judgement from the more experienced of the two.

“Oh my.” Tenten covered her mouth with her hand.