42. Before dinner

I stood there, completely speechless, watching the old man walk off with that heavy cock still swinging in his shorts. My wife didn’t wait for me. She slipped inside the house just as quickly.

I swallowed. My head beyond fogged.

Did they just... indirectly make plans to fuck? Right in front of me?

It hurt my soul to realize that this wasn’t a dream. It was reality.

She probably thinks I haven't understood her real intentions behind inviting him. Perhaps she still believes I'm that oblivious husband who would take everything at face value.

I looked up at the sky and took a slow breath.

Is this right?

…

…

Definitely not.

I knew I should be doing something. I knew a normal husband wouldn't simply stand there and let things happen without saying a word.

But I couldn't bring myself to do it. My thoughts were a mess, and my emotions were even worse. Anger, jealousy, humiliation, confusion... and arousal.

I looked down at my cock. It was pressing stiff against my shorts, throbbing so hard it hurt. And now, I didn't even feel like hiding it.

I mean, What's the point?

Every reaction I’d had so far had basically given them permission. My silence was only making it easier for them to believe they could do whatever they wanted.

And Right now, I didn’t feel like going inside. I just need to get away for a while. I needed air to clear my head because the longer I stood there, the more overwhelmed I felt.

So I started walking. I didn't have anywhere particular to go. I simply wandered through the neighborhood, letting my feet take me away while I tried to clear my head. I passed several familiar houses without really noticing them. I kept thinking about my wife, the old man, the things that were about to happen and the questions I'd been trying so desperately to answer.

Eventually, I looked up and it finally made my feet stop.

I was standing outside Ray's pharmacy.

Why am I here?

I couldn't even remember consciously deciding to come here.

Well, Not that it matters.

I pushed open the door and stepped inside. Ray was behind the counter, talking to someone.

My eyebrows perked up whenI recognized the person ray was talking to.

The young neighbor.

They were chatting. Then ray handed him a small paper bag, probably medicine.

His eyes landed on me, and his expression changed right away.

He gave me a small, knowing look.

“Well,” he said, “Hello there.”

The young neighbor turned around, gave me a small nod and walked out without saying anything.

I walked near the counter and rubbed my forehead, trying to ease the dull pressure building behind my eyes. “Give me something for a headache” I said, “Or maybe something that can just make me feel… nothing for a while?”

Ray raised one eyebrow as he looked at me. There was a short silence before he spoke. “Seems like you're struggling a lot.” He frowned as he replied, “And to be honest, it saddens me to see you in this condition.”

I remained silent. I didn't have anything to say to that. I was too tired to explain myself, and even if I had wanted to, I wouldn't have known how to put everything into words. There were too many things going through my head, and I was exhausted from trying to make sense of any of them.

Ray watched me for another moment before speaking again. “Well, if you want, I have a medicine that might make you feel better.”

I looked toward him curiously. “Better?”

“By better,” Ray clarified, “I mean you'll feel more at ease with the things that are very difficult for you right now. This medicine can help you come to terms with whatever you are going through.” He said it so calmly that I could tell he was talking about what was going on in my head.

I listened without saying anything.

“Though this one costs quite a lot, even for a single pill,” he continued, “I'm willing to give you one for free. Just this once. You can try it and see the results for yourself.” He stopped there and watched me curiously, as though he were waiting to see whether I'd take the offer.

I gave him a doubtful look. “It'll make me feel better? Is it some sort of medicine that eases anxiety?”

“You could say that,” Ray replied. “Because the anxiety you're feeling isn't really the main problem. The emotions underneath it are. And I can guarantee you, this is the best medicine to sort those emotions.”

I lowered my eyes for a moment. “You are right. The main issue isn't anxiety. It's a different emotion that I keep feeling, and I'm not even sure if I want it or not.” Accepting it out loud made me uncomfortable, but I couldn't think of any other way to put it out.

Ray nodded. “As I said, this medicine will help you sort through those emotions. You don't have to understand everything right now. Just trust me.”

I stared at the small space between us, thinking about what he'd said. I didn't know whether I should believe him, but at that point, I was too mentally exhausted to keep fighting with my own thoughts. If there really was something that could ease the anxiety and help me understand what I was feeling, maybe it was worth trying.

After a long pause, I finally gave in. “Sure,” I said quietly. “I mean, why not?”

Ray gave a small nod before turning toward the back of the pharmacy. “Wait here.”

I watched him vanish through the doorway and then stood there in silence. Five minutes passed, though it felt much longer. Finally, he returned.

He was holding a small piece of folded paper in his hand. He walked back toward the counter and carefully opened it just enough to reveal a very small pill inside before handing it to me.

I looked down at it, then back at him.

“Remember,” Ray said, watching me closely, “this is pricey. But just this once, I'm giving it to you for free.”

I thanked Ray for the medicine and slipped the little folded paper carefully into my pocket before walking out of the pharmacy. As I made my way back home, I couldn't resist taking another look at the pill. It was tiny, and its shape vaguely resembled a heart.

A heart?

I stared at it for a moment.

Must be definitely comforting if it's heart-shaped.

The thought made me chuckle, but I quickly put it away and tucked the pill safely back into my pocket. I wasn't going to take it yet. For now, just knowing that I had it somehow made me feel a little less helpless.

I continued walking home, trying to prepare myself mentally for dinner. I knew I couldn't keep avoiding my wife forever. Whatever happened between her and the old man had already happened, and pretending otherwise wasn't going to change anything. Still, the closer I got to the house, the heavier my thoughts became.

When I finally reached the house, I saw my wife standing outside.

She seemed to be waiting for me.

For a brief second, I felt a smile appearing on my face before I caught myself and stopped it.

She isn't the same person anymore.

I looked at her from a distance.

Who knows? Maybe she's waiting for someone else.

The thought immediately soured whatever warmth had appeared inside me.

She noticed me walking toward the house and quickly came in my direction. There was a hint of anxiety on her face, and by the time she reached me, she looked genuinely concerned.

“Where did you go without even telling me?” she asked.

I looked away.

“Just getting some air.”

She studied my face for a moment.

“Are you uncomfortable with the old man?” she asked.

Her question caught me completely off guard. I looked at her but didn't answer immediately.

“If you are,” she continued softly, “we can cancel the dinner.”

Before I could respond, she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around me.

I froze. It took me a moment to realize that she was actually hugging me.

I couldn't remember the last time we'd hugged like this. Had it really been that long? Obviously not. But I couldn't remember the last time we hugged. All I could feel was her warmth against me and the way her arms tightened, as though she was genuinely worried about losing me.

I slowly raised my hand and placed it over her hair.

Is she guilty?

Maybe she had finally realized that things had gone too far. Maybe seeing me walk away without saying anything had shaken her.

Whatever the reason, something about her concern made me happy.

And that bothered me. After everything she'd done, after all the things I'd discovered, I knew I shouldn't have felt that little spark of happiness simply because she was worried about me.

But I couldn't stop it. I gently caressed her hair and took a slow breath.

Cancelling the dinner won't change your betrayal.

The thought came to me with surprising clarity.

It won't undo anything.

I looked past her toward the house.

So what's the point?

If things had already gone this far, maybe I didn't want to keep pretending I could control where they went next. Part of me was terrified of it. Another part of me desperately wanted to know.

Now that you've pushed things this far, I want to see how this unfolds.

I finally spoke.

“Now that we've already invited him, cancelling doesn't seem right. Let's just go inside and prepare for dinner.”

She slowly pulled back from the hug and looked up at me.

Her eyes looking for mine, almost as though she was trying to figure out what I was thinking.

I couldn't let her. I instantly looked away innocently.

Because deep down, I was afraid that if I held her gaze for even a few seconds longer, she'd see straight through me.