[Character Sheet] John Newman, the Gamer [End of Arc 1]

[This is a kind of total accounting, made at the request of multiple readers, and is put here so as to avoid cluttering any chapters in the Arc to follow. If people want me to put more information here, they need only ask in the comments and I'll oblige them as best I can.]

[This is not a chapter of narration. If you're looking to continue the story, see below.]

Summons/Slaves: Alysha, Captain Woofroot, Fairy, Tara, Thumalk, Tita, Ulshat(?)

Equipment: amulet of the Moon Elf, belt of the breeder, bracers of victorious molesting, circlet of mana, fae tunic, glock 777 (w/ reality suppressor), gloves of the trickster, hive tyrant’s ring, red goblin air steppers, ring of hunter's delight, vest of the noble flame

Summon Equipment: Dark Elf armor [Alysha], Dark Elf rapiers x 2 [Alysha], sage's robes [Tita], commoner tunic [Thumalk], leathers of the succubus [Fairy]

Items: bell of summoning (Ulshat), black crystal plaque of recognition, bottle of Halfling laughter, chunk of giant’s gold, chunks of wyrdstone x 3, Dark Elf hunting whistle, horn of mists, jar of tainted fairy dust, sonic mace of returning, soul gem [level 5] x 10,000, sphere of longing x 5, temptress shield, vacuum flask of tainted fairy dust, vial of animator ichor x 5, vow keeper

ITEM DESCRIPTIONS

JOHN'S EQUIPMENT

Amulet of the Moon Elf: Can see in low-light as if it were day. Once per day: moonbeam.

Belt of the breeder: +5 CHA. Women pregnant with your children increase your non-damage spell effects on them by 50%, and non-damage spells targeting them use 10% of their normal mana cost.

Bracers of victorious molesting: +50% effectiveness of attempts to arouse a target with your hands (increases to +500% if the target was previously defeated by you in the last 72 hours)

Circlet of mana: grants the wearer +200mp. This mana begins at 0 and recharges at the wearer's normal rate. The mana from the circlet is used last.

Fae tunic: A black shirt that grants the user +5 CHA and 5 points of physical damage resistance, and is thin enough to be comfortably combined with other forms of armor.

Glock 777: A Glock 17 that never jams and is made from lightweight plastics that cannot be damaged or melted by mundane means. Every shot costs a base 5mp. If fired empty, deals 20-55 unaspected damage. Mundane or magical bullets add this damage to their normal effects unless the user suppresses it with a mental command. Touch spells or effects can be put on bullets, up to one spell per shot. The magical effect needs a specified trigger, after which the user spends the appropriate mana/time/materials to cast said spell. (Reality suppressor: Accessory for the Glock 777 or similarly magical guns. Reduces noise of gunfire to actual silence. Does not suffer wear and tear. Fortifies and speeds up bullets, letting them ignore up to thirty points of damage resistance of any type and allowing them to ignore all forms of inertia for three full seconds.)

Gloves of the trickster: These basic tuxedo gloves are form-fitting and smooth, allowing the hiding of fingerprints and the normal range of bare finger movement. Furthermore, each one can be made to hold an item of up to 2 in inventory size in itself, summoned to the user's hands whenever he wills it.

Hive tyrant's ring: The wearer may borrow a selected skill from a spouse or child once per day. In addition, all relationship scores related by blood or marriage are either raised to +1 or doubled, whichever is higher.

Red goblin air steppers: These leather boots are comfortable and waterproof. On command, they can allow the user to take a step on air as if it were solid at a cost of 1mp for the first step, and double the last step's cost for each step after that until one full round has passed. Standing still in the air on these boots costs 5mp per round. They also provide a flat 15% movement speed boost to the wearer.

Ring of hunter's delight: Killing a creature gives you +1hp. Inseminating a creature gives you +1mp. Maximum of +20 total per day. Does not work on creatures three levels below you for kills. Does not work on minions for inseminations. Transforms after granting a total of +50. [Current Status: +8hp, +32mp, 1H 23M cooldown]

Umbral Voice of Southern Winds: unique relic. The blade is made from voidsteel, an Outside material that makes it effectively indestructible but also makes it consume the lifeforce of any soul who wields it. The entire blade is magically void; it cannot be affected by spells, and spells cannot resist its edge. Wounds made by the Umbral Voice are opened within the Tapestry of reality, preventing all damage resistance, including divine, preventing healing except by paragon or divine magic, and making it capable of damaging leylines.

Vest of the noble flame: This dapper, wine-colored vest provides 5 points of physical damage resistance and 40 points of fire resistance. The one button with a ruby orb in its design can be tapped to double these bonuses for up to one minute once per day.

SUMMONS' EQUIPMENT

Dark Elf armor (female): stylish but functional segmented plate armor built for a short female elf. Grants 10 points of physical damage resistance and +5 AGI when wearer is the intended and trained user.

Dark Elf rapier: silver blades that bleed a neurotoxin that attempts to put any struck person of level 6 or lower into a comatose state of sleep. Base damage of 8.

Sage's Robes: a simple set of robes for a neonate of the Moon Elf matriarchs. No enchantments, but the status symbol has a strong effect on male Moon Elves.

Commoner's Tunic: a simple set of male Moon Elf clothing, made from cheaply harvested materials.

Leathers of the Succubus: An erotic and hyper-sexualized outfit meant for succubi, fitted for a high fairy. +10 CHA, +20mp regen per minute, and a flat 10 damage resistance for all types except holy or light.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS

Bell of summoning (Ulshat): a small tap bell made from bronze that does not ring unless put on a flat surface. The bottom bears the Brand of the Extinction King, and the associated **** bound to this bell, written in infernal runes. Ringing it within an open barrier will summon Ulshat for the first time, and ringing it anywhere will notify her of your demand for attention, regardless of distance or conscious states. Cannot be touched or handled by the **** bound to it.

Black crystal plaque of recognition: a stone hewn from a black quartz, upon which infernal runes writhe across its chaotic facets. The message reads: "Congratulations, John Newman! You have satisfied Abaddon the Annihilator, a demon god of the Abyss, and avenged his fallen sister, all while satisfying our bounty. We hope to hear more of your exploits in the coming end times. Sincerely, The Extinction King".

Bottle of halfling laughter: a small, thick bottle with a cork topper, inside which radiates the green gases of physically materialized hobbit chuckles. Highly addictive.

Chunk of giant's gold: a fist-sized nugget of a platinum-like (990) substance with properties of cold and fire magic, depending on the size of the user. Weight: 1 lb.

Chunk of wyrdstone: a finger of prismatic gemstone that shifts its shape to fill its container, moving at roughly 0.005% the speed of normal water but never breaking apart. A number of myths attempt to explain the chaotic and potent properties of this material, but no evidence of an origin can be found.

Dark Elf hunting whistle: summons the hunting partner of the original owner. Usable in the Abyss and in barriers only.

Horn of mists: a magical tool that can create mists of clean water vapor, either hot or cold depending on user's preference, to fill a 500x500 ft. area. Once per day, can summon a tiny air elemental for one hour.

Jar of tainted fairy dust: Demonic fairy excretions of all types are locked in this jar. Causes **** sexual pleasure and arousal on contact. Target permanently gains +1 LIB with every new dose, to a maximum of once per minute. No effect on tainted fey.

sonic mace of returning: A simple peasant's mace fortified with magic and enchanted to resonate the noise of its impact into the target. Base damage is 5, but the damage bonus from the user is applied once more as sonic damage. Not designed to be thrown, the mace flies back to the user's hand upon the last one to hold it saying "butter biscuits".

Soul gem [level 5]: a purple shard of crystal containing the soul of a dead level 5 human.

Sphere of longing: an emotion manifested into a sensitive orb of water with a thin skin, designed to be easily consumed to experience the emotion or used for crafting.

Temptress shield: this very small thong is the only thing June Summers wears under her dress for class. Owning it increases her likelihood of accepting a request made to her by 20%.

Vacuum flask of tainted fairy dust: demonic fairy excretions of all types are locked in this mundane vacuum flask. Causes **** sexual pleasure and arousal on contact. Target permanently gains +1 LIB with every new dose, to a maximum of once per minute. No effect on tainted fey. [Container capacity: 49%]

Vial of animator ichor: an inert fluid that was once Animator bile used to digest a foe, and serves a living Animator by reforming digested foes as servants. Once the Animator is dead, this ichor can only serve as a crafting component. Loses all potency after five minutes of exposure.

Vow keeper: this small golden key unlocks the Brighton family's most precious treasure.

SUMMONS/SLAVES

FAIRY
Level 12 Greater Fae Daemonica
HP: 250/250
MP: 556/556
XP: 0/4,750 (TP: 24,637)
Str 8, Agi 20, End 10, Int 27, Wis 16, Cha 25, Lib 16
Skills: blink lvl2, charm person lvl3, disguise self, faerie fire lvl4, hellfireball lvl3, instant dungeon lvl10, invisibility lvl6, mana blast lvl5, mana bolt lvl12, meditation lvl7, mirror image lvl3, move lvl5, sandman's slumber lvl3, theft lvl6
Qualities: alluring, flight, fey, noble, tainted

ALYSHA NEWMAN
Level 10 Dark Elf Warrior
HP: 205/205
MP: 25/25
XP: 0/1,750 (TP: 2,900)
Str 16, Agi 26, End 12, Int 14, Wis 12, Cha 8, Lib 28
Skills: dark elf spiral sword dancing lvl4, shadow lvl2, whistle teleport lvl1, invisibility (night only) lvl1, instant dungeon lvl2
Qualities: Fey, Blooded

TITA NEWMAN
Level 2 Moon Elf Sage
HP: 14/14
MP: 48/48
XP: 50/200 (TP: 0)
Str 7, Agi 16, End 14, Int 22, Wis 12, Cha 20, Lib 64
Skills: charm person lvl1, cure lvl1, heal lvl2, status lvl1
Qualities: aphrodisiac, fey, matriarch of the moon

THUMALK
Level 1 Moon Elf Warrior
HP: 16/16
MP: 12/12
XP: 0/100 (TP: 0)
Str 12, Agi 16, End 9, Int 10, Wis 8, Cha 15, Lib 182
Skills: second wind lvl1, guard lvl1, oral sex lvl20
Qualities: fey, submission to the moon

CAPTAIN WOOFROOT
Level 1 Sapient Plant
HP: 10/10
MP: 0/0
XP: 0/100 (TP: 0)
Str 7, Agi 10, End 10, Int 3, Wis 6, Cha 12, Lib 1
Skills: fetch lvl1, rollover lvl1
Qualities: life sense, plant

TARA NEWMAN / SHVOORRF NEWMAN
Level 11 Evoker / Level 9 Hellfire Elemental
HP: 989/989
MP: 0/402
XP: 560/3,750 (TP: 0), 960/1,500 (TP: 0)
Str 12, Agi 14, End 35, Int 40, Wis 12, Cha 16, Lib 25
Skills: burning hands lvl11, douse lvl3, drain warmth lvl2, firewalk lvl11, flame whip lvl10, hellfireball lvl7, inferno blast lvl7, instant dungeon lvl4, melt lvl4, plasma punch lvl6, ray of fury lvl6, resist fire lvl10, summon fire elemental lvl10, telepathy lvl5, torch lvl11, wings of Icarus lvl4
Qualities: Abomination (Fusion), Elemental (45%), Hellbat's body, Hellbat's fury, Human (55%)

ULSHAT
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ACTIVE QUESTS

I. A ROYAL ROMP

- Fairy Tales (completed)

- The Mutual Maidenheads (failed)

- The Stuff of Legends: Steal the Golden Rose!

- The Legend Continues: Give away the Golden Rose!

II. THE GAIA CODE

- Unrecognized Symbol (completed)

- Compile Executable (completed)

- Stack Overflow (completed)

- Class Inheritance: Ensure a new generation for the Eye of Gorbachev!

III. ?????????????

- ??????

- ??????

- ??????

- Reach Intelligence 50+ (completed)

- Reach Wisdom 50+ (completed)

- Reach Charisma 50+ (completed)

- Reach Libido 50+ (completed)

COMPLETED QUESTS
Get ready for school.
Impregnate a monster!
Novice Collector
Acquire a combat style!
Every summon needs a friend!
The King of the Bitch
A Duelist's Eye
The Drive to Win!
Heart-shaped Box
Complete two quests at once!
Defeat a powerful foe!

FAILED QUESTS
Deviant Art

Achievements Unlocked (Chapter):
First kiss (8.1)
Rip those garters, oh my my! (13.1)
All day, I dream about zen (13.1)
Every bond you break (14.1)
Every step you take (14.1)
I’ll be watching you (14.1)
I just died in your arms tonight (18.1)
Who wants to live forever (18.1)
Swingin’ where we want ‘cause there ain't nobody home (20.1)
Like a virgin (23.1)
Chocolate starfish (23.1)
The bitch is hungry, she needs to tell (23.1)
So give her inches and feed her well (23.1)
Cream (23.1)
Don’t you stop (23.1)
Reclaim my place (24.1)
Better wise up (24.1)
Cry me a river (26.1)
Survivalism (29.1)
My neck, my back (29.1)
Hurts so good (29.1)
I wanna fuck you like an animal (29.1)
She says she’d never been this far before (29.1)
I wanna feel you from the inside (29.1)
Would you like to come inside? (29.1)
I want it all (29.1)
You get me closer to God (29.1)
Strict machine (30.1)
Just to push you down (30.1)
Yin yang (31.1)
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard (33.1)
And they’re like, it’s better than yours (33.1)
Knocked up (34.1)
Copy of A (34.1)
Copy of a Copy of A (34.1)
You can’t think of me as you did in the beginning (34.1)
I put a spell on you (35.1)
Feel good (36.1)
We built this city (40.1)
His bidding was all I could do (43.1)
Momma said knock you out (43.1)
Monogamy (44.1)
Monstrogamy (44.1)
One big, happy family (45.1)
Big mistake (45.1)
It’s a vagina, not a clown car (45.1)
More human than human (45.1)
You had all of them on your side, didn't you? (45.1)
Polygamy (48.1)
Polygamonster (48.1)
Dance magic (55.1)
Fully loaded (55.1)
Do you believe in magick? (55.1)
Happiness in slavery (64.1)
Danger! Danger! High voltage! (67.1)
Shot through the heart (68.1)
Indestructible (68.1)
Massive damage (69.1)
Titan killer (69.1)
Abomination killer (69.1)
Wanted dead or alive (69.1)
Wanted dead or extinct (69.1)