'we both go for broke'

"um...Can i ask you a hypothetical question?"

"sure."

"What if....what if i already did love you? Hypothetically!"

I had to think about that one. It would, of course, be great if a girl loved me, especially Shana. But could i tell her that? She might panic or get scared. Or at least give me shit about it.

What if this was a prelude to a confession? If i said 'that would be mighty fine' and she said she loved me, what could i do? I truly had no idea if i was in love with her or not. If what that old chick in The Matrix said about knowing you're in love through and through was true, then i didn't. If it left room for question, that's still only a maybe. Lying was out of the question, of course. I swallowed hard when i noticed Shana getting nervous as she waited for my answer (which worried me because it may have meant that i was right about the prelude thing) and slowly opened my mouth.

"if you loved me, i'd be happy. but i wouldn't be able to tell you for sure if i felt the same way yet. sorry if that wasn't what you were hoping for."

"I see. Well, thanks for being honest, anyway."

Should i ask if it was really hypothetical? Which was worse: fear of the answer or having to wonder forever?

"...so?"

"Hm?"

"uh....do you...i mean, was that question hypothetical or...damn, this IS hard to say."