"Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth!"

“Beth,” says Meg. “Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth! I have something amazing to tell you!”

“Can’t it wait?” says Beth, Meg’s best friend, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear as she absent-mindedly chews on a pencil. She’s a curvy girl in glasses, tight sweater, tartan skirt, looking almost exactly the way Olivia Dudley looks in The Magicians, which as far as you can tell is the only reason anyone ever watched that show. You always thought it seemed strange that none of the magical characters in The Magicians ever used their magic powers to make all of Olivia Dudley’s clothes disappear. It even has one pretty good ENF dream scene, but not with Olivia Dudley! Oh, well. “I’m busy.”

“You’re studying.”

“Studying’s busy.”

“That thing I told you I was going to do, and you said it would never work?”

“Yeah?”

“It totally worked.”

“You mean getting your hair cut? I told you short hair always looks cute on girls. I don’t care what the internet says.”

“No, idiot! I mean the other thing!”

“You mean…” Beth lowers her voice. “Sneaking into the sealed section of the library at night, stealing the Ass Goetia and using it to summon demons?”

“Yeah!”

“Meg. Oh my god. You are going to get into so much trouble. And I’m going to get into so much trouble for knowing about it and not stopping you.”

“Beth, it’s so amazing. I can’t even tell you how amazing it is. This has been the best day of my life, and it’s not even over. I mean…”

“Yes?”

“Didn’t you notice yesterday how the basketball team had to walk across campus in their underwear? And then it rained, and their underwear shrank off, and they had to do it naked?”

“I try not to concern myself with that kind of juvenile prank.”

“You didn’t think that was weird? I mean, college can be pretty rowdy, but all five girls completely naked in broad daylight? Wouldn’t security have put a stop to it or something?”

“It’s a tradition, Meg. What are you trying to tell me?”

“I’m saying,” says Meg, grandly, sitting down in the chair across the desk from Beth, who’d found herself an isolated corner in the top floor of the library and a huge stack of books on historical occultism, “I’ve made the biggest discovery of all time. Demons are real! And God, I think.”

“Really? God?”

“I think so? I mean, if you have demons you’ve got to have God. And the demons are all big perverts!”

Beth rolls her eyes.

“Listen,” she says, “I’d love to listen to you blather on all day, Meg, but I’ve got a paper to write about the old Hindu story of Krishna and the gopis. You know, the one where he steals their clothes while they bathe in the river, and makes them bow to him naked before he’ll give them back? Funny thing to have in a religion.”

“But… but this is real! Well, I guess if God is real then Krishna might also be real. The point is, demons are definitely real!”

“Really? Is there a demon in the room with us right now?”

“Yes!” said Meg, pointing to you. You’re still invisible, of course, so Beth can’t see anything when she looks directly at you. You shrug at Meg, who can see you. “He’s right… oh, never mind.”

“Are we done here?”

“What about the Orgasm Dome in the Old Quad? You think that’s normal?”

“Some kind of weird experimental art project. Not my concern. Seriously, Meg, with everything you say you’re implicating me further in all your stupid crimes. Why don’t you just go away and leave me alone?”

Meg sighs.

“Beth,” she says. “Pay very close attention. I’m going to show you something.”

“What do you… EEEK!”