..the torn, soaked sweater knit gave..

.. and I fell to the wet shower floor. I was at a loss, naked and wet in the boys' lockerroom. What was I going to do? I found a discarded towel and dried myself with it. What to do for clothes? I looked around, finding nothing. Further searching,I spy a discarded football jersey atop a locker. Crawling up the locker shelf, I manage to grab it. I put it on, it fits like a little minidress, reaching to midthigh.
"Mmm, I don't recall assigning a new equipment manager," said a voice from behind, startling me.
I turned to see the football coach, hands on hips, his brawny body blocking my exit.
"I better see how you are at handling balls," he sneered, stepping closer.