take me to church

Getting back to work was rough as several schools in the area had settled on the same week to have their proms in a group effort to kill you outright. Or maybe just poor planning, either way, you were not too happy with several schools at the moment. You tried to comfort yourself by reminding yourself that more makeovers meant more tips. And you could use every penny.

When you weren't at work or school you were preparing for prom. Erin took you shopping all over town to try and find the perfect dress. Several days you were no closer to finding the dress but you did find a pair of beautiful blue heels. So now you had to find a dress to match your shoes. Tom had offered to help you find a dress, since the only time he got to spend with you lately was at school, but you wanted to see the look on his face when he saw you in the perfect dress.

Before you knew it, it was Sunday and you were told that church was not negotiable. "I see some things haven't changed." You told Erin as you pulled your thick tie away from your neck. You hadn't worn a suit and tie in so long now you wondered how you could ever stand the weight of it before.

"What exactly are you wearing?"

"My church clothes?"

"Is that what you really want to wear?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"Well, no. But they knew me as...from before and what if they recognize me?" Witch burnings came to mind for some odd reason. "What if they don't want me there?"

"Then to hell with them." Your dad swore startling you as he walked around the corner from the hall. "You shouldn't be miserable for them. And besides, we'll always have your back." You surprised your dad when you suddenly gave him a hug before grabbing Erin by her wrist and dragged her into your room to quickly pick out a nice dress.

After you changed into a simple baby blue flowery dress you piled in the car with everyone else. "You're not gonna wear your blue shoes?" Kyle teased and had been ever since he saw you dancing with no one in your heels while wearing them. Explaining how sometimes they need to be broken in did nothing to slow him down.

"No, not today." You shook your head.

"Does Tom go to church?"

"Well, they're Catholic."

Kyle turned around in his seat and looked up at you, "Did you ever go to mast with Tom?"

You smiled and shook your head, "I did. Five a.m. mass every Saturday."

"Wow, what was that like?" Erin asked.

"It was actually a lot like when we did early morning training before the season started. You're tired, up early, some guy's telling you how you're going to hell if you don't do what he says." Kyle and Erin giggled, your dad just shook his head and drove on.

The walk was the same walk you walked for years but it felt different as you watched old faces turn and look at you before whispering to whoever they were with. A reaction which continued even during the sermon as the preacher preached about Jesus' miraculous rebirth after spending days in hell collecting all the poor sinners. You wondered if you and Tom would go to mass when you had your own place. It wouldn't feel right to make him go by himself but at the same time...you saw an elderly woman in a red hat turning to look at you. With the overly large hat, it was very easy to notice her. She leaned over and whispered to her similarly hatted friend who looked to you then further up the aisle.

After the sermon was over you woke Kyle up and headed to the front door, which was always packed with people milling about gossiping about their week since it had been an entire week since they last caught each other up on the previous week's events.

"Joeseph Doe! As I live and breath!" the elder red hat woman waddled back up the stairs when she saw your dad.

"Shit." Your dad swore under his breath. "How are you, Maddie?"

"I'm good, very good. The lord is shining brightly for us today."

"Yep." He nodded.

"I noticed your wife wasn't sitting with you again today."

"Yeah," He growled, "I don't see that changing any time soon."

"Hey," Erin whispered to Kyle, "why don't we go outside?" Kyle shrugged as Erin took him through the maze of people and away from the rude nosy woman.

Before you could follow you were stalled when she asked your father another question. "And who's this?" She looked over you with a judgemental eye.

"I'm-"

"She's my daughter." He stated matter-of-factly.

Her eyes widened as if she had stumbled upon the holy grail of gossip. "Oh. I see."

"Well, I-" You felt your dad put his hand on your shoulder, his secret way of telling you to shut up in church.

She looked back to the red-hatted women standing around like vultures waiting for her to bring back their meal. "Oh? Are you thinking of joining our humble church?

"Mrs. Maddie," Before you could speak he cut you off again, "I'm sorry but we really need to be going. We have a busy day ahead."

"Of course dear, have a blessed day."

"You too," He lead you down the stone steps to the gravel parking lot. Already you could hear the whispers beginning among the vultures as they gobbled up their meal.

"I have to pee."

"Can you wait till we're home?"

"Not really," he examined you for any hint of a lie, "what can I say, spiro makes you pee like a racehorse."

"Okay, fine. I'll be in the car."

"Two minutes." You told him as you walked quickly back up the steps passed the men and women still standing around. Each one pretending they weren't watching you with judgemental eyes, some less obvious than others, some didn't care if they were seen watching.

You went to the ladies room, checked your makeup and made sure no hair was out of place knowing you would be judged by every little detail you got wrong. You wished you had done more makeup than just your eyes and lips but you were rushed and still didn't have time to do more now. You took a deep breath before walking down the long hallway to the front door where they still stood.

"Mrs.Maddie?"

She turned from her whispering friends, their smiles reminding you of hyenas, "Yes dear?"

"My dad is not a cheater."

"I don't understand, are you adopted?"

You could lie and they'd probably believe it and maybe it would still clear his name but it wasn't the truth and you wanted them to know the truth, "No." She looked confused and ready to say more but you cut her off, "My dad is my biological dad and I am...was...John, I go by Kara now." You **** your voice to stay strong, "My mother threw me out when she found out but my dad found out and has let me move back home because he's a good man who loves his children enough to listen and understand. He also doesn't talk behind people's backs but is willing to let you do it instead of talking about me. I have questioned God since I before I started my transition, why would he make someone like me? Was it cruelty or a test? I still don't know. But what I do know of God is he doesn't see the clothes we wear or what our flesh looks like but our souls. It's why Adam and Eve were naked in the garden."

The entire gathered group stared at you silently, including the preacher who had come out to see the ruckus. "I really do have to go though, so thank you for your time. Have a nice day." You walked passed the red-hatted women and the other gawkers and into the gravel parking lot to your dad's car in the far end of the parking lot strategically placed under a shade tree.

"Get everything out?" Your dad asked as you climbed into the car.

"I think so."

"Good."