hospital

Ben was in the emergency care ward of Sankt Lucias Hospital. I was denied access and could only look on from a window, as many Doctors and Nurses where buzzing around him like flies. After only getting excuses and delays for an unbearably long amount of time, one nurse finally took me to a private room and started talking.

“It was a car accident. Your Brother drove his vehicle directly in a tree at Millers College. He suffered severe head trauma.”

“He was conscious but hysterical. Campus staff had to restrain him.”

Oh God.

Once Emergency arrived his condition had deteriorated to the point that we had to administer a sedative. He was then transported to our care.”

What have I done?

“Mrs. Franklin?”

“Ah yes..will he....will Ben...”

The Nurse remained silent for a few seconds. “...His wounds are not life threatening. He will need to stay hospitalized for an extended amount of time, but we believe that Benjamin will ultimately fully recover. Our deepest concern is his mental health, however this will require further...”

“His Mental State?”, I interrupted. “What do you mean?”

“Mrs. Franklin, does Benjamin have any preexisting conditions in regards to his mental health?”

“No.”

“Does he use substances? ****, ****.”

“No!”

“Perhaps it might be best to inquire with your par...”

“What is this nonsense? My brother just had a huge car accident! Of course he is hysterical!”

“Based on our first analysis there is more to this. Benjamin depicted signs of schizophrenia, paranoia and mania. Further evaluation is no doubt required, there is also...”

“Enough”, I cut her off. “Just let me see my brother. Ben is only scared. He needs me, that is all.”

The Nurse gave me a wary look. “Is there anything else you might want to tell us? Please understand that this Is very important to your brothers recovery.”

“Just let me see him.”

They finally allowed me into Ben's room. Up close he looked even more awful. His whole Body appeared to be bandaged, he had an infusion needle in his arm and tubes sticking in his nose.

The tubes reminded me of yesterdays fries and I almost let of out a manic laugh.

This is my fault

I did this

Ohg guvf vf fgvyy fnyintrnoyr

It took around two more hours until the sedatives finally wore off and Ben opened his eyes.

“Ben! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everything will be ok, yes? Big Sis is here to make everything right again!”

I was expecting Ben to scream and jerk around but instead he just calmly looked at me with a neutral expression. “Evan?”

I paused. I still hadn't called the rest of our family. Frankly I didn't want to call them. I can take care of Ben by my own. “No, Evan isn't here yet. I'm sure he will come soon.”

“I see.”

I wanted to hug him, but I was scared that would only cause him pain. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I am in a hospital.”

Good. He is joking. That's good. “Like Shit, I get it. Do you remember what happened?”

“I...” Ben looked around. Of course there where hospital staff present that monitored him closely. They didn't intervene, so I suppose they wanted to get a mostly “real” reaction out of him. “Its still mostly a blur.”

Why did you ask him that, Stupid! Of course he won't tell them what happened last night.

“Its ok...you don't have to think about it right now. Just try to sleep for now.”

After Ben eventually dozed back to sleep i left the room to use the bathroom.

Well then Rina Franklin.

What will you do now?

That was a very good question.

I started with vomiting.

I almost killed my little brother. My sweet baby brother. The thought send shivers down my spine. He isn't **** tough, and his injuries will heal. His sanity seems also mostly intact, so....

That makes it ok?

Of course not! Of course not...but....but...

Hey, Rina Franklin

What will you do now?

I took my phone out.

Isn't the answer extremely, laughably easy?

I shouldn't even have to think about. Any decent, reasonable human being would know exactly what do right now.

You however are no such thing.

It took all my effort not to scream.