help with aftercare

“Okay, you really want to prove you can handle it?”

She sounded angry like she believed I’d say no to whatever request she made. I had to somehow convince her when I wasn’t entirely convinced myself.

“Let me prove it. Tell me what to do.”

She began tearing up more.

“Okay, get me out of all this. I didn’t cum but I’m out of the moment anyway. Prove you can do it.”

Did she just say she didn’t cum? Was I going to be expected to help her cum? I felt like an idiot for even asking as obviously this is all just an attempt to get off.

She turned her head and I think she expected me to leave right then. I wasn’t gay and I didn’t want to touch any girl, even my best friend, in this way.

“I knew you couldn’t do it. It’s okay. I’ll figure something else out, I won’t talk to Chris. I promise.”

I couldn’t risk she was lying. I couldn’t risk whoever Chris’s replacement was wouldn’t be the same or worse.

“May I touch you?”

She didn’t answer so I didn’t proceed. Finally she spoke again.

“You don’t ask permission. You just do. That’s part of it… please don’t hate me…”

I somehow had to pretend I was confident enough to do with without explicit consent.

“I don’t hate you. I love you.” Was all I could say.

I reached for her collar as it seemed to be the least sexual place I could touch her. I started to loosen it, and she looked like she was about to cry, but they seemed like tears of relief. Like she actually imagined this as a sign of acceptance.

“That comes off… last… it says that it’s over.” She said.

Fuck. I guess that makes sense.

I wanted to avoid her nipples at least for the moment so stood and grabbed the binding holding her left calf to her left thigh. I pulled it off and she stretched her leg after sighing from what I imagine was the ability to relax and breath a little easier. I went to her other leg and did the same. She left her legs up in the air meaning her pussy was spread wide in front of me, still very much wet and I had to somehow pretend… no, I had to somehow make myself okay with this.

This is love. This is what best friends do for each other, I guess.

I reached for her nipples. I was about to touch my best friend on her nipples. I had to make her feel like I was okay with doing it.

“May…”

I stopped as I wasn’t supposed to ask. I looked at her face and I couldn’t tell what she was feeling. It seemed like she wanted to enjoy it, but was afraid to.

I finally did it and pulled off one clamp. She took a quick breath and it looked like she was in pain.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yes… it’s just the blood flowing back in. It’s normal.”

Normal? This is not normal! I closed my eyes. I can’t judge, and I won’t judge. She needs to know she can trust me.

I pulled off the other clamp and I could clearly see her breasts and nipples. They were large, larger than mine by quite a bit, her nipples were fairly large too, and her boobs were shiny with sweat as was the rest of her.

I then went to take the collar off. She didn’t speak. I started to lift and she was clearly uncomfortable.

“Are you okay?”

She didn’t answer, I could tell there was something else on her mind. The collar only came off when it’s over, she said. How is this not over?

I looked down and saw the gemmed plug sticking out of her butt. I couldn’t do that. I can’t pull a sex toy out of my best friend’s butt.

She saw me staring at the the object under her wet, open and clean shaven slit.

“It’s okay, I knew this wasn’t for you.” She said with a voice of sad resignation.

I can’t… I really can’t… but I had to? I have to. She needs to be safe.