Yukari blurts out her own, possibly stupider, lie

(chapter originally by faith at writing.com)

"Thank. You. Junpei." Yukari said in a perfect monotone.

Everyone, including Junpei, turned and stared at her.

"I. Believe. It. Is. Time. To. Reveal. The. Whole. Story." Yukari said, in her best Aigis voice.

"My. Name. Is. Aig....err...Aggie-527."

"Yosuke...." Nosy fucktard asked. "What the hell is going on?"

"Ha! Uh, heh, guess you figured it out! Yeah, our model is...a robot?" Junpei said, glancing at Yukari incredulously.

"That. Is. Correct." Yukari said. "Model. Unit. Home. Operating. Efficiency. Aggie."

"......." Said pretty much everyone.

"Oh, uhhh....culture festival. See, the Kirijo group is, uh, getting into new fields. Like robotics! And...they've been working on this new...uhh...synthetic that looks like skin. So what I was saying before...it really is all elaborate makeup over this crazy synthetic stuff. Totally lifelike!" Junpei said.

"And...why is this happening at the culture festival?" Fucktard said again.

"Junpei. San. Is. A. Friend. Of. Mitsuru. Sen...Sama."

"Yep! I, uh, wanted a really awesome booth at the festival this year. And, I don't mean to brag, but Mitsuru and I are pretty tight, you know? Ha!"

".........." Said pretty much everyone.

"And the hat? The underwear??" Fucktard asked.

"What? She likes my hat." Junpei said.

"Indeed." Yukari said. "The. Underwear. Is. From. My. Mistress."

"That Mitsuru's underwear?" A general exclamation was made.

"Yes." Yukari said. "This. Morning. I. Ruined. Her. Clothing. In. The. Wash. I. Am. Being. Punished. For. My. Misconduct."

"But wasn't that the pair Junpei-"

"Indeed. I. Compounded. My. Error. By. Removing. Her. Underwear. In. An. Attempt. To. Embarrass. Her. While. I. Fled. It. Was. A. Error. And. I. Am. Very. Stupid." Yukari said.

"She...uhh...she's was ordered to say that." Junpei said.

"Indeed. I. Am. The. Dumbest. Piece. Of. Garbage. Ever. Built." Yukari said.

"Kirijo group does have access to some crazy stuff." One student observed. "And robots are popping up all over the place these days. Saw an expo where they have robots that help the disabled. And seems like those robo vacuum things are all over the place."

"Yeah, but this is actually responding to us." Fucktard said.

"Dude, Siri can do that." Junpei shot back.

"Siri doesn't do it well." Fucktard countered.

"Siri. Is. A. Bitch." Yukari said.

"Heh. More stuff she's ordered to say." Junpei said, shaking his head in disbelief.

The assembled student body laughed. This...might actually work?