You push through the door

But as you go inside, you realize that you're not in Kansas anymore. Hell, maybe you weren't in the first place, but this place is definitely weird. It's not the bubbly mega-city you expected to find, but it looks more like the dark future of Doris! You spin around to get the fuck out of this before a hat finds you and turns you into a mindless Doris **** like you remember from the movie, but the door is gone, faded into an alley wall made of brick and what you hope is dirt.

This isn't good at all! You try to get your bearings, looking around for the sky line, but everything is dark; it's night and there's hardly any lights on at all. Those that are there, you're pretty sure you don't want to go toward.

It's then that it hits you like a brick to the back of the head. In fact, that's what it is. As you stagger you see the crumbly clay block hit the decrepit concrete in front of you and finish shattering. You spin around, your head feeling like you're under water, and you see a lithe brunette dressed in rags running toward you, a second brick in hand. She drops the brick and scoops you up as she kneels and cradles your head against her small but firm breasts.

"Oh mister! I am sooooo sorry!" she says emphatically as you pass out in her arms.