You are hestiant

"Lea. I am not sure that it is a good idea" You say looking past her "I just... " You share feeling that lie deep inside. She gives you a so much needed release "I feel ashamed every time when I get aroused or think about sex. Everything that I did with you and Gwen resurfaces in my mind and... "

"Hmmm" She mumbles while her hand caress the bottom of your back "Alex, I said I forgive you everything. Gwen is feeling the same way. Now you need to forgive yourself and keep living." Her palm slides to your stomach and than inside your pants. She grabs your hard dick and adds "Let's stop talking, I want this hard thing inside. Sex will help you relax"

"You don't understand... I wasn't very successful with girls before this shit started. I had few but never had any strong feeling and never considered them... you know hot. All my sex was boring and unexciting and..." You stand like a statue, doing nothing to answer her caressing

"And?" She asks before falling on her knees. Her intentions are very and she only confirms it when she starts pulling your pants down.

"I compensated the lack of real successes with fantasies. Most of them were ****. I had so many jerking sessions imaging **** someone. Yet I always knew the difference between harmless fantasy and reality" You don't dare to stop Lea from what she is doing as if pushing her away would be another kind of forcing her.

"Until today?" Lea is so intrigued by your words that she pauses and looks straight up in your face.

"Yes... Everything combined. I spent a lot of time with no access any woman or my collection of my pseudo **** porn. I got a lot of stress putting me on the edge. Than I encountered Gwen, she was armed and one of the beautiful woman I have ever seen, I got a rush of Adrenaline and... you know the rest" You gently put your hands on hers trying to move them away from your trousers "You know what is the worst part? Part of me enjoys remembering this. It was the best sex in my life by far. Part of me wants to repeat it and I doubt that I can fully enjoy vanilla sex now "