You Need Closure

The fact that Melody admitted how much she enjoyed sex with you filled your heart with joy, but something was still gnawing at you, something you needed to know. You wouldn't be able to sleep until the air was cleared.

"Out of you mind with lust, huh?" You ask cautiously. "So when you said you wouldn't mind if I did all that...that was just your arousal talking?"

"Well, I wouldn't have thrown myself at you like that if I was in my right mind, so yeah." She responds, a little too dismissive for your liking. You gulp nervously. The question you need to ask is burning a hole through your tongue and you need to spill it before it sears your mouth shut.

"Do you regret it?" There; it's out in the air now. The silence in the room is so absolute now, it is almost deafening. At this point you could hear a pin drop. On to a pillow. In the hallway. Melody is taking so long to respond, you feel like you die a thousand deaths waiting for her responses. Finally, a single word from the redhead.

".....What?"

You just want to punch you own face in at this point. You don't know if you can handle repeating it, but let the words tumble from your throat anyway. "Do...do you regret it?"

Slowly, your friend lifts herself up into a push-up position, then transitions in to a sitting one. She subconsciously grabs the pillow and holds it lengthwise to cover her chest and crotch. You suddenly find yourself feeling very exposed and wishing you had a pillow too. She pushes some hair out from in front of her face and tucks it behind her ear. You finally get a good view of her face, still flushed from your sexual encounter. Sweat was still beading on her forehead and her eyes had a far away look to them. "Why would you think I regret it?"

"I don't know...I just assumed from the way you were talking that you didn't want to actually have sex with me and I was just conveniently in the right place at the right time..." You watch her face go from nervousness to anger.

"I'm not some kind of whore who would throw herself at any random dude that happens by." She snarled between gritted teeth. "Is that what you think? You just got lucky and stumbled into a fuck ready to happen no matter what?"

"No!" You exclaim. "God! Of course not." The redhead's expression neutralized again as you back-peddle. "I know you better than that. And you know me better than to think I would actually think that."

"Sorry." She shakes her head as if confused. "My head is all dazed right now and I am apparently still not thinking right. I didn't mean to question your integrity like that, Jack." She reaches out with one hand and touches your own. You savor the feeling of warmth her touch passes onto you. "I didn't intend for us to have sex, but I wouldn't have asked just anybody, okay? It was because it was you that I felt like I could ask at all."

"Do you wish you didn't ask?" You pry further, still needing closure. "Or that I didn't take you up on it?" Melody's face screws up in conflicted emotion, obviously struggling with the answer herself.

"I...I..." She stammers, then looks away. "Look...can we just drop it for now?"

"No, I need to know." You press her for an answer. She withdraws some, both emotionally and physically, removing her hand from yours, much to your regret.

"What's it matter anyway? It happened regardless." She sees the expression on your face. "It's not like I hate you or anything, Jack. We are both consenting adults here. You don't need to worry about me holding anything against you." You still don't budge and you can tell she is becoming uncomfortable. "Stop looking at me like that! We're both still full of adrenaline and emotion. Can't we just do this later? Why does it have to be right fucking now?"

"Melody." You say simply. "Please."

Her lip quivers a bit before she lets loose a pent-up cry of anguish "I don't know, all right!?" She squeezes your hand tightly and pain surges through your arm. You're not entirely sure if it was intentional or not. "This isn't fair, God dammit! You can't put me on the spot like this!" She gives you a less than gentle push and you have to try hard to keep from toppling over. "You have been my best friend for years! Hell, sometimes you were my only friend! I have told you shit I haven't told anyone else!" Tears start to well up in her eyes. "Every time something horrible has happened to me, you have been there for me. When my Grandma died, when the other girls in high school were spreading rumors about me, when everyone of my relationships fell apart...you have been a rock for me. And now...this changes everything about us. Everything we are and have been and will be...all thrown into chaos because of 15 fucking minutes of..." She finally notices she is crying and with her cheeks flushing with shame, furiously wipes her eyes. "Goddamn it." She mutters angrily to herself before directing her anger back at you again. "What about you, huh? Mister Twenty-Fuck-Questions! Don't you regret it? Doesn't this bother you at all?"