You, you're a handsy drunk.

As the night goes on you are reminded that you've got a low **** tolerance, for an Irishwoman at least. You mind Traynor's decreasingly subtle flirting and you caught yourself staring at Allers's ass at least twice in half as many minutes. Twenty minutes later you have to remind yourself that you're straight for the eleventh time this evening. And you are. As long as you forget that one dream you had about Shepard seducing you.

Just after that reminder Diana Allers bends over to pick up a glass that rolled off of the table and you get an eyeful of her glorious ass. It's so close to you you could grab it, you could smack it. Out of the corner of your eye you see that Traynor is staring at the magnificent piece of meat in front of you as well. Maybe you're jealous of traynor but whatever the reason you grab Allers' ass and gently massage it.

As she turns around you expect her to slap you so you sit back and cover your face. To your surprise Diana sits on your lap facing you, grabs your wrists and pulls your arms out of your face before kissing you passionately. You don't think of it at that moment but later you'll laugh about Traynor looking on in intense jealousy as Diana breaks off the kiss and drags you to her room.