You're not even angry. You're just disappointed.

You sit up a little straighter, groping for some of that righteous fury to which you're amply entitled, when your two most important relationships conspired to keep an enormous secret from you, and when you spent all that time grounded because Dex had a fucked up selfish narc moment, and instead of reaming them both a new one you find your eyes suddenly swimming with tears. It's not okay. Almost none of this is okay. But you're just so tired of everything being awful.

The two of them are eyeing you nervously and it's starting to feel like in some respects all of you had some part in how this shook out. You maybe didn't know they were together, when you flirted back with Scott at that stupid party. But you knew it probably warranted a conversation about what that might mean for all three of you, and you did it anyway.

Then again, you had a selfish spell one night because it felt nice to be flirty and feel sexy with somebody. They carried on a secret affair for literal years and never told you.

You let out an unattractive, snorty, sob, that makes Dex flinch and Scott look down at his lap. "I actually don't know what I wanted to say," you manage after a minute, your voice embarrassingly small. "I just. I feel really sad. Deep down my heart kind of sad. That you guys couldn't trust me with your secret relationship. Like private from other people I get. But me. Maybe I'm being unfair to feel so bad about that. I'm not really sure."

"Is there anything we can do?" Dex asks in a low voice.

You shrug. Not a shitty shrug. Just a, you don't know, shrug. Dex knows the difference.

You've never seen Scott cry before. "I'm really sorry, Bridgy," he says wretchedly, not even bothering to wipe at his eyes. "To both of you. I feel like I haven't made any good decisions since before the party and I don't know how to be better and—" He lets out a **** sob. "I keep. Fucking up."

Dex makes a loud sniffing sound, then crosses his arms over his knees and buries his face in them.

"Yeah. But." You swipe at your eyes. "Do you still love him?"

Scott's shoulders slump again. "Yeah. But it sucks worse than that. I just miss him. All the time. And I know I ruined everything. What reason have I given him to ever trust me again?"

You shake your head. "That's not always how the math works, with people."

Dex mumbles something into his arms, not quite loud enough to hear. "What, Teddy?" you prompt him.

He repeats himself again, but he's still not speaking clearly enough for you to make it out so he finally raises his head and looks at Scott with eyes rimmed in red. "If you feel like that, why didn't you ever ask me to take you back? You didn't even ask."

"I didn't feel like I had the right to," Scott says, looking at his glass instead of at you or Dex. "I thought... I couldn't bear it when you said no."

Dex clears his throat really hard. "Well. Maybe I'm a lot stupider and lonelier and hurting for self-respect than you thought. Maybe I wouldn't say no."

Scott swallows really hard. "I love you," he says in a tiny voice, raising his eyes timidly to Dex's. "And I miss you. I'm really sorry I'm such a coward."

You have no idea at first, why this is the thing that makes you burst into actual sobs. "Just ignore me, okay," you mumble, when Scott slides over to you and Dex half-rises. "I'm fine. It's whatever." This answer clearly isn't good enough for Dex, because he gets up and shoos you into the center of the couch so you're between him and Scott.

"You don't sound fine," he says. "You sound like... well, you sound kind of like how I feel. So. Definitely not fine."

Dex doesn't object when you slip your arms around his middle and lean into him, so you let him put his arms around you too, and you cry against his chest. "I feel like I'm never going to have anything like you guys did. And now you don't have it either, and I just—I just keep waiting for life to stop being so hard all the time and it keeps... not," you sob. "It makes me feel really stupid and worthless that this was going on the whole time and I never had a clue. What kind of dumb, self-absorbed bitch am I, anyway? And crying, all the fucking time! Like is anybody ever going to love me? I sure as shit don't see how!"

You feel the couch cushions shift as Scott moves hesitantly over to you two, and then you feel his arms slide around you both.

Dex stiffens momentarily, then relaxes slightly. But you can feel him trembling against you, a little.

"I didn't think I had the right to ask before," Scott says thickly. "But if you'd ever consider taking me back, Dexy," he says, "I'd do anything to show you how sorry I am and make it up to you. My life is so much worse without you. I don't know what to do about my dad yet, but it doesn't feel worth it anymore to lose you forever just because I'm a coward."

Dex gropes wordlessly around your back until he finds Scott's hand there and gives it a hard squeeze. "I'm... not saying yes," he says after a moment. "Not till we've talked and not while we're all worked up like this. But—Jesus," he mutters, "I must be fucking insane. Okay, I'm not saying no either. I... maybe I missed you, too. I probably need some time but." He clears his throat, hard. "I feel more willing to try to keep an open mind, at least."

Well, at least it'll be easier to feel less shitty about your dual-class unfuckable-unlovable status, if your two best friends aren't battling their way through their miserable fucking cold war anymore.

Scott nods against you both. "Does this... change the other thing at all?" he asks Dex, recalling you to the fact that there was something else they mentioned talking to you about.

"Is that the 'fun thing' you mentioned before?" you ask.

"Seems like it can't help but change it," Dex says, squeezing Scott's hand again but also turning it into a hug for you. "But... maybe that's in a good way?"

They trade a long look, obviously communicating in some secret language of theirs, inscrutable to you.